Gizmodo: ontario

Flying Microbot Gives Wings to Imminent Doomsday Scenario

Jack Loftus — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 15:00:00 EDT

Researchers at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, seemingly oblivious to the fact that technology is exponentially outpacing our ability to keep up with it, have created a new breed of levitating micro-machines.

Worse still, these malignant Micro Machines are armed with tiny pincers that open and close when they are heated by, wait for it, a laser.

The researchers claim this discovery will lead to better toxic waste cleanup:

"Since there is no wiring, and the robot freely floats in air, it can operate in an enclosed chamber while the whole setup is outside," wrote U of W professor Mir Behrad Khamesee. "It can work in hazardous environments, toxic chambers, and it can be used to conduct bio-hazardous experiments. Also, since there is no mechanical linkage, it has a dust-free operation, suitable for clean room applications."

Right, until these little critters spawn some artificial intelligence, take a look at the planet, and decide "toxic waste" means "mankind." [ZDNet]

Policeman Tases Guy, Sets His Pants on Fire

Kit Eaton — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:40:00 EDT

Ok, we know bad things can happen when the general public use tasers, but cops tasing a guy and setting him on fire? No... really? Apparently the 31-year-old in question was causing a disturbance in an apartment in Hamilton, Ontario, recently, and three police officers attended. Whatever happened after that, the police ended up firing a taser at him. Unfortunately when the high-voltage device went off some sort of flammable object in his pants waistband caught fire. He sustained burns to his hands and thigh, and had to be taken to hospital. Ouch. Someone at some point must've started saying "Liar! Liar! Pants..." [Danger Room]

Photographer Mistaken for Gunman

Haroon Malik — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 13:45:55 EST

Sheridan College in Ontario was locked down last Friday because it was suspected a gunman was on the premises. Thankfully, it was a false alarm, but how do you mistake a gunman? Apparently, all it took was a lone photographer, some camouflage cargo pants and his free-standing tripod.

The emergency services were alerted by a professor and his eight students, who all reported they had seen a suspicious man carrying a "long, tubular object." Following a campus lockdown and a thorough two-hour search, nothing was found. Information incoming across the weekend has indicated a photographer with a tripod was the reason for the disturbance, though he has yet to be located and spanked for all the fuss he caused. Let this be a lesson to you camouflage-cargo pants-wearing weirdos; don't wear camouflage cargo pants. You're not in the army, you suck. Talking of things that suck, according to a satirical joke we are about to make, the NRA was said to be very disappointed about there being one less gun on the streets. We don't doubt it. [Globe and Mail via blogTO]