The Booty Caller is a series of text messages (3 per menstrual cycle) that lets women know when they're most likely to be fertile and provide helpful fertility advice. This is the first time that ovulation alerts have been sent to cell phones — We tell you when, you decide where!

I decide where? Score! Usually I'm forced to accept random text messages as mandates dictating where I stick my penis.

Booty Caller is a series of 18 text messages (three per menstrual cycle) that lets women know when they're most likely to be fertile and provides helpful fertility advice. When women sign up for Booty Caller, they will begin to receive text messages to their phone. Sample messages include:

• "Your fertile window starts in 1 week. Find out if your chances of getting pregnant are better in the morning."

• "Your fertile window opens today and lasts 5 more days. Stress can get in the way of conception so relax and get a massage, meditate, or take a yoga class."

• "Today is your last fertile day! If you get pregnant during this cycle, your due date will be on or around 6.25.2009.”

We're guessing that other messages include:

• You are fertile today. You will not be fertile tomorrow. Relax, this is your absolute last chance for a child.

• Tomorrow, you will be fertile. Today, you should deploy all necessary website blockers on your partner's computer.

• In this economy, are you really sure?

• Just picture Jesus Diaz. [Booty Caller]

It will be available in Japan starting December 16th for US $58.

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