Gizmodo: Parents

Mommy Megaphone Will Out You As an Ineffective Parent

Elaine Chow — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 21:00:00 EDT

The Mommy Megaphone is a gag gift for parents that bills itself as a “sure-fire way to get everyone to listen.” It has a speak mode and a siren mode, can project over 500 feet and is allegedly weather and baby-resistant. With an adjustable volume range of 5 to 10 Watts however, it's almost completely useless. Kids are yelly; when I was young, I'm pretty sure I'd hit 10 Watts in a normal conversation. You know what would be more effective? Holding up a paddle. That always got me to listen right quick. [Nerd Approved]

How Grandma Sees The Remote

Mark Wilson — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:30:15 EST

In this comic by Roz Chast really sums it up nicely, for grandmas, parents and, let's be honest, sometimes even ourselves during our darkest moments of troubleshooting.

It reminds me of a funny story that happened to my wife's grandma a few years back. Her television was hit by a power surge and began speaking Spanish (picking up some AM radio station probably)...even when unplugged. She later joked that the voices, temporarily muffled under a blanket, were laughing at her. We convinced her that she'd just hit the wrong button. OK, OK, we didn't. We're not that cruel. [bookofjoe]

Gizmodo's Very, Very NSFW Porn Convention Adventure

Adam Frucci — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 16:50:13 EST

CES, it takes a toll on you. Sometimes, you need a break. So Jason, Mark and I decided that on the last day of CES, we'd also go check out AVN, the NSFW porn convention that happens at the same time as CES. I was kind of apprehensive at first, as I thought I would get grossed out and feel uncomfortable with the things that I would be forced to experience, and for the most part, I was right. But in the end, as you can see, Chen taught me a thing or two about life, love and the resiliency of the human spirit. Enjoy. [Shot and edited by Mark "Fellini" Wilson]

Losing Dignity at AVN: The Best Receipt Ever

Adam Frucci — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 16:23:09 EST

Mark, Chen and I just got out of AVN. We're making a video. This is an actual receipt I got for one of the services I paid for at AVN for use in our video. I need to expense this now. I'm sorry Blam, I really am. Stay tuned for the video, it's sure to make you think even less of me, if that's even possible.

Xbox 360 Parental Timer Rumors Solidifying

Matt Buchanan — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 02:30:13 EST

Rumors of the long-expected parental timer embedded in the Xbox 360's impending fall update have been picking up steam in the last week or so, with the latest sort-of confirmation supposedly coming from a Guitar Hero III keychain. The included pamphlet reportedly describes the timer thusly:

A simple tool that lets you manage how much time your kids spend on their Xbox 360. Manage in daily or weekly increments. Easy for parents to suspend and add time. Available in December 2007 only through Xbox Live.

The requisite photo of the pamphlet is obligatorily blurry, but with all of the other chatter floating around, even if this is faked, we feel pretty safe betting on the new feature's upcoming launch, particularly given the Xbox 360's new family-focused marketing, like with the Arcade. [Xbox Today via Kotaku, Flickr]

Boy Pays Hitman to Off His Parents After Taking His Playstation Away

Adrian Covert — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 22:45:08 EST

16-year-old Cory Ryder is awaiting trial for hiring a hitman to whack his parents because they took away his PlayStation. But the man paid to do the job wasn't a hitman, but an undercover cop...hired by the kid's mother.

Ryder caught a ride from his mom's friend to go meet the "hitman," and offered up his stepdad's pickup as payment. He was quickly taken into custody where he is being held for attempted murder. While I'm sure every "parents with too much free time" group will use this to pin all of society's problems on videogames, Ryder's commitment to his PlayStation cannot be questioned. [The Times UK via PS3 Forums]

TV Show Teaches Nosy Parents How to Spy On Their Kids

Charlie White — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 11:18:28 EDT

Okay my little droogies, check out this video from the chirpy Morning Show, a nasty broadcast your 'rents might be watching. In this little segment, they can learn how to spy on you with some of those high-tech thingamajigs. You already knew about all this Big Brother stuff anyway, though, didn't you? Just makin' sure. It's called opposition research.

Not only is this eavesdropping paraphernalia downright scary, but the clueless hosts' approval of each spy tool sends a chill down my spine. My 14-year-old daughter would never speak to me again if I pulled any of these stunts. [The Morning Show]

Parents Think Wii Zapper Might As Well Come With an NRA Application

Matt Buchanan — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 05:40:21 EDT

NJ.com, your source for "everything Jersey" asked people what they thought of the "gun-like" Wii Zapper in their weekly Question of the, um, Week segment. The responses poured in and they were extremely negative. The catch, though, is that the site had originally posted a picture of a gun other than the Wii Zapper, which let's face it, looks more Star Trek than NRA. Check the outrage after the jump.

Great, this is what we need. Children with guns learning how to aim and shoot. Then we can sit back and wonder what is happening to our country with kids killing kids......what's next? Could we make it squirt blood, too" one reader commented.

A "very concerned grandparent" wrote: "....Why don't they enclose an application to the NRA in every box as well....the marketing person who came up with this brain child of an idea should be fired."
Another reader commented, "I think it's irresponsible for Wii to come out with a controller that looks like a gun so kids can play games simulating shooting. What kind of message are we sending as parents when we buy these things for our kids?"

Either way, guess these guys missed Duck Hunt. [NJ.com via Fark]

Kiddy Cam For Parents, Not Sickos

Jason Chen — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:25:45 EST

This Kiddy Cam from Magnet allows busy parents to monitor their kids without actually spending any time with the little bastards. The flip-down LCD screen can mount to any surface—a kitchen cupboard, for example—and receives transmissions from up to 30 meters (100 feet).

Useful for watching that your kids don't shove gadgets up their nose, but even more useful as it has a built-in radio. You have to watch them, but you don't have to listen to them. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Magnet via Shiny Shiny]

Shower Monitor: Ruining Your Life in Eight Minutes or Less

Charlie White — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 08:22:02 EDT

The Waitek Shower Monitor is a timer that activates automatically when the water is turned on, and then after a predesignated time limit between five and eight minutes, it starts emanating an annoying honk that can be heard all over the house. The only way to turn off that beeper is to turn off the water for at least two minutes. It has an LED readout that shows you how much time you have left as well as the temperature of the water.

Sure, water is cheap, but it can start getting expensive to heat that water. Shower Monitor's makers say that the average family can save $24 a month by limiting their showers to eight minutes each. But then, taking a nice long hot shower, one of the simple pleasures of life, is eliminated.

On one hand, this could be an excellent device in an apartment with a very small water heater and lots of shower hogs. On the dark side, it's yet another tool for fascist parents to have one more element of control over everyone's lives in the house. Plus, who won't go right up against that time limit? Then there will be an annoying beeping noise happening in your house every single day. If it's worth it to you, it's $110. – Charlie White

Product Page [Waitek, Ltd.] Thanks, Richard!

Pacifier Drug Dispenser and Thermometer

gizmodo.com — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 16:22:06 EST

The Numimed Dispenser Pacifier is made for covertly delivering medicine to a baby. This is not entirely a new idea, but it adds a built-in thermometer to take the baby's temperature as well—which is a nice feature.

Numimed is also the perfect pacifier for the late 1990s raver in your household. Make sure you have an ample supply of liquid MDMA loaded up and you're set for the night. Overheating and dying? Not with that built-in thermometer! Keep your cool, club kids. They go for $5.99 and seem to be available at the local Walgreens or CVS pharmacy.

The Dispenser Pacifier [Red Ferret]