Gizmodo: pencil sharpener

DIY Tesla Turbine Pencil Sharpener Is Pointlessly Dangerous

Sean Fallon — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:20:00 EDT

Using a CD jewel case, some magnets and a 12-volt air compressor, you can build an elaborate Tesla turbine sharpener for pencils you probably don't even use. Oh, did I mention it could kill you?

Indeed, the instructions point out that a strong enclosure is required just in case the whole damn thing explodes in your face. But, in the end, your risk will be rewarded with a machine that takes down a pencil at over 2200 rpm. Hey, why not scale this thing up for a wood chipper? Put the whole neighborhood at risk. [Hacked Gadgets]

Doggy Style Pencil Sharpener Takes One for the Team

Charlie White — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 10:30:00 EST

We are not sure how we missed this exquisite work of art when our beloved sisters at Jezebel displayed it not long ago, but we're just wondering where on earth such a pencil sharpener might've come from. Is this what it's come to? Certainly this is not how we treat our women here at the Giz. This kind of reminds us of that obnoxious method of extinguishing cigarettes we discovered last month. Who cares what orifice that pencil's going into? We like our women with heads, thank you very much. Even so, after a search far and wide, our question still remains: Where we can get one of these? [Live Journal]

Living Dead Dolls Pencil Sharpener Will Haunt Your Dreams

Sean Fallon — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 19:00:43 EDT

The "Living Dead Dolls" Sadie Pencil Sharpener is a favorite of artist and sharpener aficionado Matthew James Taylor —and it doesn't take much to see why. Insert a pencil into her eye socket and watch her regurgitate the shavings at the push of a button. It is tons of wholesome fun for the well adjusted adult. You can have one of your own for as little as $2.99 when they become available. [Product Page and MJT via Neatorama]

Cat's Arse Pencil Sharpener: Don't Tell the SPCA

Addy Dugdale — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 07:07:25 EDT

I think this is self-explanatory. I'm more of a dog person, myself, so I'd have no qualms about having this on my desk. Apparently the cat goes "Meow" when you stick your pencil up its butt, which is not very realistic. Far better that it leap up and down and bite you, then do a poo on the desk. Anyway, the Cat's Arse Pencil Sharpener costs $14. – Ad Dugdale

Product Page [I Want One Of Those via UberGizmo]

Walking Robot Pencil Sharpener

Travis Hudson — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:14:04 EDT

There are people out there still using pencils, and this is the perfect pencil sharpener for them. Stab the robot in it's big, oily, mechanical heart, twist and not only will you get your pencil sharpened, it will also wind up the robot and he will walk a few steps. It's pretty cheap, too—own your very own pencil eating robot for $5.99. – Travis Hudson

Product Page [Thinkgeek]

Robot Pencil Sharpener, Prancing Around the Desk, Tempting Fate

Charlie White — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 10:40:35 EDT

Just in time for back-to-school, here's a windup robot pencil sharpener where the simple action of sharpening your pencil revs up the little guy, inspiring him to take a quick walk around the desk before that cranky schoolmarm beatch catches you. Hopefully it's not too noisy; you might just get away with this for a while. Available in a variety of designs, it's $6.50. – Charlie White

Product Page [Hawkin's Bazaar, via OhGizmo]