According to research done at the Rambam Medical Center in Haifa, Israel, low-intensity shockwaves can actually reverse erectile problems unlike medications which require continued treatment. The actual shockwaves are described as not being painful, yet somehow it doesn't really sound that way:

Each shockwave applied roughly 100 bar of pressure - some 20 times the air pressure in a bottle of champagne, but less than the pressure exerted by a woman in stiletto heels who weighs 132 lbs. (60 kg).

Youch. It's creepy and it's cooky, but until you can grow a replacement, this might be a more reliable way of dealing with malfunctioning equipment than ED medication. [Live Science]

Photo by otisarchives4

I don't know how the fluffy creatures lost their most precious parts in the first place, but scientists decided to grow entire penises from scratch and implant them into a group of rabbits. The result were fully-functional, completely responsive sex organs in all the rabbits and "when given the chance to have sex, eight [of them] were able to ejaculate, and four became fathers." Impressive conception rate considering they were working with brand new equipment.

The hope is to one day reproduce those results for humans and aid those requiring penile reconstruction. Until then though, I suppose that "replacement penis" will keep implying the involvement of batteries. [Wired]

This week, Gizmodo is exploring the enhanced human future in a segment we call This Cyborg Life. It's about what happens when we treat our body less as a sacred object and more as what it is: Nature's ultimate machine.

Click here to download the fit kit in PDF format

Believe it or not, using a condom that is not suited for your penis increases the possibilities of breakage and slippage, which in turn increases the possibility of sexually transmitted infections, or unwanted pregnancies. Even while they know this—as have been discovered in various studies—the FDA doesn't allow for condoms that are longer, shorter, thinner, or thicker than the average. That's bad—not to mention effing annoying.

In Europe, however, men will be able to print out this measuring tool, and order exactly the size they need. Hopefully, someone will bring these TheyFit condoms to the US. For now, however, all you can do is print and play.

And yes, I measured it. Yes, that's an invitation for you to the same and post your size. No lies or fishing tales. I will start: N21—aaaalmost 22. [Theyfit—Thanks Debby]

As much as I'm sure that some people will find penises quite decorative, I think I'll definitely pick the second one. [Rock and Royal via Mysexprofessor]

The company will use solid gold to create the device, with 40 diamonds and rubies encrusted all across its surface. Hopefully, not in contact with the skin. The order will arrive in October in an armored car, despite it being prohibited to own sexual devices in Saudi Arabia. Happily, this is classified as a "medically certified device" in the US. Sadly, having it made of gold and precious stones won't help his peepee grow any longer. [Digital Journal]

The painting stood for almost a year until a helicopter noticed it and contacted the Sun newspaper. The Sun followed up by contacting the owner who thought the whole thing must be some sort of joke:

He said: "It's an April Fool's joke, right? There's no way there's a 60ft phallus on top of my house."

Oh yes, Mr. McInnes, there is definitely a 60-foot wang on top of your house. Now what are you going to do about it? Does it involve a belt? A lifetime grounding perhaps?

The boy's father appeared to take the prank in good humour.

But he said: "When Rory gets home he will be given a scrubbing brush and white spirit and he can go and scrub it off."

Oh yeah, that will teach him. Rory did get his comeuppance...in a way. Despite his prank, the house roof remains penis-free according to Google. [Telegraph]

How does it work? It's essentially a mouth guard—you know, like the ones boxers use—that you use while performing oral sex. On a male.

It retails for $28 and contains a pack of strawberry flavored lubrication. Not sure whether or not the lube goes on the inside as well as the outside of the Blowguard, but you can use it how you like. It's a seriously good idea, as any guy who's been accidentally teethed can attest to. Not sure how it feels on the giver. Probably not that much worse than having a penis in the mouth.

Fleshbot (NSFW) will have a review of it soon. [Blowguard (NSFW)]

First we need to be clear on what this is for. The EQM measures your maximum erectile quality, so to properly test it, you'll have to make sure you're at maximum erectness. Then, press the EQM to the tip as hard as your junk will allow without bending, then see how you score on a scale of 500 grams to 2000 grams (higher is better). It's called "axial rigidity", and it's the type of rigidity that's "needed for penetration."

To be honest, Jesus and I don't need this, seeing as we're both under the age of 45. Since today is my birthday, I figured I would try it again to make sure that aging one more year hasn't deteriorated my pantsing ability. It hasn't (yet).

It is, however, a good way to learn what the difference between a 6 on the meter and a 10 on the meter is, just for personal reference. In case you have to do cock pushups, perhaps. I scored an 8, 9 and 10, but got a 6 once—from being distracted by a phone call or an IM or something (I forget).

But for men over a certain age, the EQM is a pretty good way for you to know how erect you can get. At $79, it's not cheap, especially when factoring in the doctors' visit you'll need afterwards if you want to actually do something to improve your erectile quality. But if you're monitoring your status because of your blood pressure or if you're on some medication, this could save yourself the time of going to the doctor and having him measure your penis for you.

The EQM is probably nothing more than a novelty for a good majority of Giz readers, but I can very well see it being extremely useful for a certain population. The great news is mine still works! Happy birthday to me! [Fast Size]

You may think you have a powerful erection, but how do you know? The Erectile Quality Monitor is here to help.

Here are the instructions.

Once you obtain an erection via your stimuli of choice, simply place the head of the penis against the pressure sensor of the device and apply pressure towards the body for a count of 5 seconds or until the penis inflects (bends). At this point a reading will flash on one of the LED indicator lights, reflecting the quality of that erection. Use this same method each time you test to help ensure accurate results.

Basically, hold it up to your dong in order to see how strong it is. A stronger donger would mean that it bends less, a weak one means it bends more. If you have a problem, you'll be aware of it and take steps to treat it. Knowledge is power, my friends, and this thing is power.

Stay tuned for a hands on. [Fast Size]

Of course it is! Because we all know that the key for a man's happiness is a penis as big as a bottle of wine with veins like lizards' tails. And here's a system that will get you that, according to the manufacturers. Really! It works! Ask Benny! And you can always use it as a real slingshot to hunt rabbits in the countryside. Get yours own for $69 (what else) on eBay. Hopefully unused or with every pubic hair removed. [eBay]

More Wrongmodos

USA Today: USA Today's Ed Baig summarizes with this verdict: "Given the compromises, I don't expect anyone to use Air as their only computer. But it is a yummy machine for people who spend a lot of time traveling." Going more in depth, he lauds the Air's thinness, and revels at the little things like the magnetic latch and the backlit LED display. The worst part? He got more than an hour less than Apple's rated battery life.

Baig also notes that this is the weakest Core 2 Duo in the entire Mac lineup, which means you won't be using this for video editing. He knocks points off for the sacrifices, such as the internal optical drive, the scant 80GB hard disk space, the one USB port, lack of FireWire, and the average battery life. Apple rated it at 5 hours, but he only got three hours and 40 minutes just surfing the web, using Remote Disc and writing. It only lasted two hours and 40 minutes when watching a movie. Verdict: Not for everyone (mostly travelers), and definitely not a main computer. [USA Today]

Newsweek: Steven Levy at Newsweek compares the Macbook Air's thinness to ritualistic circumcision, noting that they sliced off just enough to make it meaty, yet super thin. Thin enough for him to spend a good third of his review saying how thin it is, and how it's so great on a lap, on a Starbucks' table, on a conference table, and on an airplane seatback tray. He then decries the obvious lack of features we've been talking about since we heard about the Air: lack of user-replaceable battery, the one USB port, no optical drive, blah blah blah.

It essentially reads like Levy reviewed off the spec sheet, and doesn't have many tales of his first-hand experience with such topics as how snappy the sluggish processor is or how convenient (or inconvenient) using the Remote Disc is (he does note that you have to lower your Firewall to its lowest setting to allow easier configuration). Verdict: Not much of one, but what he does have agrees with Baig: it's thin and even though Apple's removed much of its innards, "the things that Apple left on were the ingredients for a quality computer." Also, he spends much of the review talking in a roundabout way about penises, so it's worth a read just for that. [Newsweek]

Wall Street Journal: Mossberg from the big J also loves the svelteness, owning up to his own Contact moment by saying that "it's impossible to convey in words just how pleasing and surprising this computer feels in the hand." Of course, he hates the non-removable battery, the 1 USB port, the fact that you can't put a bigger hard drive in there and the lack of an optical drive.

In his own tests, he says the machine was "speedy" and the keyboard and screen were a "pleasure to use". His own battery tests gave him three hours and 24 minutes with Wi-Fi on and playing music nonstop. He theorizes that you could possibly get 4 hours and 30 minutes without playing music and just working normally, bug Baig's own test disproves that. Verdict: Great if you love thinness or a full-sized screen and keyboard on a "subnotebook", but he "can't recommend it for all." [AllThingsD]

They said:

The image that you see is actually the result of shading applied to the clock background graphic to give it more of a three-dimensional appearance, in line with the theme of the phone. The graphic is actually built as concentric circles stacked on top of each other, with a lighting filter applied to give it depth. Unfortunately, the result is something that has some readers questioning what they see, and Motorola apologizes for any perception of impropriety as it was certainly not our intent at all. The graphic is only in a few models of our phones with certain software builds installed. We're already taking steps to ensure that the clock face graphic in question will not appear in any future products. If someone wants to remove the graphic from their view, they can either select Menu -> Settings / Personalize / Home Screen / Clock / Digital, or Options/Customize Home/Clock Style/Digital, depending on their phone model.

To us, we can't make out any raised bump or three-dimensional appearance to cause this wang-like specter, but maybe it's like that image of the vase that's also a face. Once you see the face, you can't un-see it—except in this case the vase is a penis and the face is another penis.