Yikes. To make you feel better, might I suggest revisiting the adorable bionic puppy? [Environmental Graffiti via io9]

I think it's the spin cycle. The tiny water-efficient unit rotates with incredible speed, making a sound that's somewhere between a pneumatic drill and a jet engine launch. During the first load of laundry we washed, Anya (the cat) stood three feet away trembling in fear.

She's a tough cat, so it's a bit disturbing to see her scared.

Anya raised one paw, ready to smack the mechanical beast down if necessary. We couldn't approach her to assuage her fears with pets/snuggles. She was busy in a battle for her/our lives.

Since that evening, it's gotten better, but only a little. Frequently, she sits in front of the washer when it's not in use, studying the slumbering beast for any weakness and knowledge of what makes it tick.

It's just a lousy situation, as there's no good solution here. (Imagine that conversation with our landlord. "You have to buy our cat new laundry equipment, sorry.") We have to give it time—time for our very loved pet to become less and less intimidated by an electronic device that doesn't even know she exists. Because there's simply no way to tell an animal that inanimate objects mean them no harm.

And while it's kind of funny for a moment or two, eventually you start to feel like a real jerk for keeping such electronics around. Has anyone out there had similar issues with their pets and gadgets?

Wan Love Yu's micro bubble technology can stably produce bubbles with a 20μm average diameter, that's roughly 600,000 bubbles in one square centimeter. The bubbles are negatively charged so that they attach to positively charged organic particles and lift them off. The result—foam that reaches way down into a dog's hair to dissolve dirt and grime.

The Wan Love Yu generator attaches to a regular hose in the bathtub, so it doesn't require any additional piping work. IDEC is planning on releasing Wan Love on June 20 in Japan for between $6,000 to $7,000. Though if that's the price for shampoo free doggy eyes, I say Fido ought to just suck it up and bathe the old fashioned way. [Fareastgizmos]

The urn can handle up to 75 pounds of pet remains—if you have one giant dog or many smaller ones that you mix together—has a 7-inch screen and 256MB of storage for your photos and audio recordings. Yes, we said audio recordings, which can play back your pet's various noises for you to enjoy from the comfort of your couch. Who can put a price on loving your pet after he/she's gone? Pet-Urns can, and they're $249. [Pet-Urns via Picture Snob]

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[Yanko Design]

Essentially, this thing is a sunshine simulator, making your pet feel like its laying out in the sun even when it's the middle of February. But do you know what else a pet can sleep in front of to feel warm? A heater or a fireplace. It's not like there needs to be a bright light there to confuse your cat about what season it is, and last time I checked pets don't need to tan, as they're covered in hair. If you purchase this you should officially lose your right to use currency and should forfeit agency over your finances to a third party with some sense in its damned head. [TrendHunter via BornRich]

Naturally, there is no word on when the Pet Pavillion will be released or how much it will cost. However, it will be on display to the public at the Koreannovation trade show in NYC from May 14th-15th. [Koreannovation via Gearlog]

Essentially, it looks like this is your basic reward system, with a special food wand making it easier to jam food right in your goldfish's face when it does something right. Of course, you can't scratch it behind the ears or take it for walks or go outside and play with it, but a coldhearted parent like you doesn't care about things like that, do you? [R2 Fish School]

A few years ago, when she and my brother's relationship was in its infancy, and she just seven months pregnant, they went off to an agricultural show. As you do. It was a hot day and they left the three dogs they owned in the back of their SUV. On their return to the car several hours later, they found a window smashed and no mutts.

"A dognapping!" they shrieked, hotfooting it (or, in her case, waddling) to the information tent as quickly as they could. On arrival, they had their details taken, including names, address and license plates. The man on the front desk, after casting a knowing glance at his colleagues, sent them off to the SPCA tent.

They got there to find the three dogs lolling about behind three very stern-looking women d'un certain age who informed my brother and his horrible, moustachioed girlfiend (sic) that, no, the dogs had not been stolen, that the SPCA had received several calls from concerned show visitors that they had seen three very distressed-looking mutts barking in the back of a steamed-up car, and so their officers had broken a window and liberated the dogs from their prison-cum-sauna.

And the irony of all of this? My dearly demented ex-sister-in-law has a Ph.D from Oxford University in Animal Behaviorism. Her specialist subject is, apparently, the wild dogs of Zimbabwe. Anyway, I think that $366.45 is too much for a present for someone you're not very keen on. [Criminalistics Inc via Nerd Approved]

The horrifying and ugly sweaters were made by gathering "thousands of dog hairs from brushes and carpets," which makes you wonder how often they vacuumed their house. Apparently, they're quite warm and waterproof in addition to being so goddamned creepy. And they have enough fur left over for a jumper, which is currently being made.

Taking the concept to its logical conclusion, the couple plans to have their skin made into fashionable hats for their children when they die. It's the circle of life! [BBC via Treehugger]

If you can access your PC from a remote location (with remote desktop or a similar application), you can schedule feedings and instruct the camera to take photos during those times when you are not around to sit and watch your pet eat. You can even purchase an additional IR illuminator to watch the heart pounding action in total darkness. All of this creepy pet love can be yours for $300. [Product Page via TRFJ]

The controls are only operable by animals with opposable thumbs, but it is suitable for any gender of dog, not just bitches, as the fantastic title of this article suggests. If your canine compadre is the very apple of your eye, or you are Legend, we recommend paying out the highly unreasonable, 18,500 yen ($173.) Be warned though; your little mutt (not a euphemism), is likely to rip through the Cool&Hot pad with its teeth, piss on the exposed electric wiring of the heating element and then scorch its face off as it collapses in a horrific electrifying spasm due to electrocution. You just can't buy that kind of publicity. (No animals were harmed in the making of this article.) [Dvice]

The Price: The Zoombak for pets is a steep $200, with water-resistant pouch; the one for cars costs $250, because of the installation kit. On top of that, there's a service charge of $10 per month—looking at the price, there's no forgetting that this device is, essentially, a little cellphone.

The Verdict: I don't have a dog, so I tested it on my in-laws. The thing is small and light, and it really, really works. I activated one of them, set a safety zone perimeter using my address plus 1/2 mile, then handed it over to my father-in-law. After a short while, I got a text message naming the closest street intersection to where he was. (This can also come in the form of an email; it's your call.)

The messages didn't start coming right when he crossed the invisible threshold, but the data seemed to be timely: throughout the day I periodically got new updates as to his whereabouts. At one point, when my father-in-law was sitting not far away, I got a text that he was at some address I didn't recognize. Then I looked at the map and realized it was, indeed, the closest intersection to my house, even though it was just through a patch of woods, and outside our development. If I were really looking for him, he probably wouldn't have been hard to find.

There are some things to keep in mind: as with any other cellphone, it's got a battery that needs recharging. This one lasts up to 5 days or 150 location requests, so keep it charged and put it on your pets (or in-laws) when they're out the door. Also, the web interface is in need of some improvements, but those are easily tweaked and I know Zoombak is adding additional features even now, so I'm not worried. It's a good start; if you're really worried about a wayward pet or other family member, check it out. [Zoombak]

ZOMG I iz on da interwebz. [Etsy via Craftzine via MAKE]

Oxygen therapy, apparently, reduces wrinkles. So I guess this means that if you put a Shar-pei in the O2 Dog, it will come out as something completely different. [Akihabara News]

last year's American Inventor who made the solar-powered pet fan that sits in your cars window. [Product Page via Washington Post]

Jurgen used a VistaQuest VQ1005 Digital Keychain Camera with a microcontroller, setting the gizmo to take a pic every 90 seconds. You can buy the CatCam on his site for $45, and it costs less if you want to buy the components separately and make it up yourself. [Mr Lee Catcam via Shiny Shiny]

At the moment it's just a concept (and given that rather tooty tartan fabric that looks like it should be wrapped around Jessica Fletcher's knees in Murder, She Wrote it will probably stay a concept) but it's quite a fine idea. Let's hope the Will It Blend? team don't get their hands on it. [Hands via CubeMe]

Best Dog Suit Ever. By a Longshot [Spinwall]

Once the cat and toast have been properly joined together with the butter side facing away from the fur step back and enjoy, because there is no way for this paired object to reach the ground according to our newly proven scientific laws. Think about it, if the toast were about to land buttered side down that would void the kitten from landing on its feet. However, if the kitten was to land on its paws then the buttered side of the toast wouldn't be face down on the floor. There is no conceivable way for them both to land.

There you have it, the first ever kitten n' toast anti-gravity device. Now we must work on securing them to snowboards only then will we be on to something truely great.

Cats Anti-Gravity Device [Funnymos]

Product Page [Dolce Vita via Gizmodo Tips]

Hi, Doggert De Niro here, Gizmodo's resident Method canine, and the latest of Gizmodo's resident pet testers*, with the latest pet-friendly product, the dog fat counter.

You may remember my predecessor, Fluffy, better. That bitch (heyyyy, just joking, people, she's a wunnerful mammal and one of the best stunt pets in the business) tested the pet life vest a couple of months back. Terrible what happened to her.

Anyways, she's no more, so it's my turn to step up to the plate. And that's just what I've been doing for the past three months, stepping up to a plate of food—three times a day, actually, such is my devotion to my craft. Originally I was cast in the role of Jake LaMutta in the big-screen remake of Raging Dog, but it fell through. Not before I had put on 14 pounds though, quite a lot when you're a mere Poodleweight.

Now, where was I? Ah yeah, Raging Dog. So, my agent, Artie Schnauzer (whatta guy, you gotta love him. No, I mean it, you gotta love him, or he gives all the good roles to my rival, Al Pekeno) hunted around looking for a role that needed, how shall I put this, more... I'll just leave it at more, shall I? And this was what he came up with.

It's not quite the "Before" pic for one of those weightloss stories, but we're not far away, are we? I have become a product model for a gizmo that measures a dog's body fat. I mean, what is the point of one of these? Isn't this what the papparazzi are for? You know, when you're hanging out on Malibu beach and you get snapped looking fatter than you should be, maybe trotting when you should be running after a stick your master threw for you?

And before you know it, that little Shi-Tzu Pugrez Hilton runs the pics, saying you look like you killed your handler and ate him, let me tell you, that should be enough to get your owner to get you off the Faggioli a la Milanesa and back in the dog gym PDQ.

Sorry, where was I? Ah yes, the fat counter. So, the day of the shoot comes and off I waddle, as dignified as you can when you're carrying 25 percent more of your body fat. I'm shown to my chair with "Doggert" written on it, practicing my "Fat Dog" look when the director looks at me and shakes his head. Muttin Scorcese's his name. I'll make sure he NEVER works again. Apparently Doggert has the wrong kind of hair.

The wrong kind of hair! Well, you can probably imagine what happened next. He beckoned over the cute little bitch who'd been "looking after" me in my trailer (pale redhead that goes by the name of Marcia Crossbreed, such an accommodating girl) and says that she's up next. Something to do with her fur being easy to part.

So, I go completely pitbull on this Scorcese bloke. Me, a mild-mannered poodle. Crazy. I start biting his ankles, I leave red welts halfway up his calves, then, making sure that no one can catch me, I run into his Winnebago and I spray all over his alpaca rug. That taught him. And, while I'll probably never work again, who cares? It made me feel good. Now then, It's time for my lunch. – Ad Dugdale

*For the benefit of any scientists who are reading, no, I don't do shampoo.

The long review with body fat measurement of love dog correct meal management [Impress Watch viaTokyo Mango]

Rube Goldberg Dog Food Dispencer [Instructables]

Product Page [Via Coolest-gadgets]

Hot on the heels from last week's dog juice catcher canine sex toy comes this vibrating pet massager. In a tasteful FootSpa aqua color, this 4.5-inch bone-shaped device apparently soothes sore muscles, relaxes, and enhances the bond between pet and owner. As do regular visits to the park, a bowl of food and a bit of attention.

The blurb also says that the gizmo stimulates oil glands to give your pup a healthier coat. Let's hope that they're the only glands the $5.95 Pet Massager does its work on, otherwise I foresee a nation of Dogs Gone Wild if they are denied a daily happy finish. – Ad Dugdale

Product Page [Puppy's Place via UberGizmo]