One might make the assumption that this device is needed by a guy who hasnt the "length" to make it to the toilet alone. Conversely, that means that someone is going to immediately invent toilet steps, which will sell solely on the marketing ploy that the steps are for the man with so MUCH length, that he needs to be higher in order to make it to the bowl.
@wherethehellwasi: I just unzip my pants, relax, and let gravity do the rest. I just let the universe take care of where the urine should go. And when my wife sees the disgusting mess and asks what the hell happened in there, I respond, Destiny. Destiny happened. And you can't fight destiny.
The split mode one looks like it's designed to look like little toilets. They should make some extra tiny ones that go next to them, like those Russian dolls that come in a series that gets smaller and smaller. Wouldn't that be AWESOME?!
uhhhh... but logistically speaking, isn't there a high chance that if you kneel on these you're kneeling on someone's backsplash? I mean, what's the chance of kneeling on one of these and not feeling the lingering stickiness of residual fluids (not to mention knee dander)?
@frigg: I never thought of it like that. It gives you some incentive to strengthen your thigh muscles or to fall on the bathroom floor or head first into the toilet and taste true fear... of course technically that's not fear they're tasting.
I hope that those things have some sort of traction under them... That would suck if you dropped your pants, knelt down on them and then they slipped out from under you (or slid apart).
@Rabid Penguin: On the other hand, mobility could be a useful feature, perhaps a version with little wheels on them that could turn it into some kind of exercise-while-you-pee device that all but writes its own informercial.
Alternatively, if slippage does become a problem, you could suture these onto the user's knees so they're always available and solidly attached.
How about a urination chamber? It's a partitioned off section of the bathroom with a drain, and a nozzle that sprays you with water. You simply strip naked and relieve yourself at your leisure and you come out smelling cleaner than ever, and you simply dry off, put your clothes back on and get back to work. Why doesn't this exist yet?
@Kaiser-Machead: Your softball will be hit by me: It does exist, it is called a shower. Good for two or more people, the shower will supply you with the water needed to rejuvenate an otherwise dirty existence. Used with supplementary products such as shampoo, conditioner, and k-y ERRRRR body wash (thanks Rome), the shower can be an exhilirating experience for anyone in need of a thorough cleansing.
@OMG! Ponies!: Would you like a white russian with that sentence? Or perhaps another condescending word that starts with a b and has two o's in the middle, you boob.
Couldn't you just sit on the toilet if you were worried about splashing? I thought they were designed to be sat on? Or should I be standing while taking a crap?
@drowning in denon_Nick: I've installed a horse trough-style urinal in my bathroom just so I can. You lie face-up to take a crap, and when you have to pee, just roll over.
@drowning in denon_Nick: You must be one of those guys who sounds like they are peeing a stream of lead every time they are at a urinal. Makes me laugh kinda
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Um, what if the afcorementioned goods touch the rim not because of your height but because of their length?
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Oh, yeah, I'm a...um...doctor. That's it, a doctor.
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Or maybe fold-down mirrors in the stalls at Cipriani on 42nd to snort coke off of.
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Other than that, it's just like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
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Personally, I pee while dangling from a harness and pulley system suspended a few inches directly over the bowl. I call it Mission: Impeeable.
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uhhhh... but logistically speaking, isn't there a high chance that if you kneel on these you're kneeling on someone's backsplash? I mean, what's the chance of kneeling on one of these and not feeling the lingering stickiness of residual fluids (not to mention knee dander)?
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Alternatively, if slippage does become a problem, you could suture these onto the user's knees so they're always available and solidly attached.
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I weep for the future of manners.
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i'm peein in the shower
*couple scenes later
i'm still peein in the shower
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WEEEEEEEE!
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