Gizmodog Drugs Addy, Attacks Jesus and Mario, Takes Over Sunday Column

woof woof woof woof woof jones here. i am addy and jesus' dog, and today i am doing what master jesus does everyday, sitting in front of this big screen and going bang bang bang on this flat thing that makes clicking noises, heh heh. addy's no better you know. lies in bed or on the sofa with this square black thing on her lap going tap tap bang bang click click and ignoring nice doggies. so jones has had his revenj yes he has. drugged blindfolded and out cold, addy is tied up in the bathroom and i'm going to have some fun doing the bang bang click click thing on the black square thingy. i'm here, fellow webmongrels, to tell you about my favorite shiny things—no, not turds, but gadgets that are better than the iphone. and then youre going to see me play smackdown with mario racing cart oh yesyesyes jones the dog ftw. More »

How to Love a LEGO Lunatic

At a party once, Jesus was asked if he were a leg man or a tit man. The answer is neither. He's a LEGO man. Well, to be honest, he's all three, but rather like faith, hope and charity, the greatest of my husband's loves is LEGO. I'm not bitter. The colorful, benippled bricks have just been around rather longer than I have. That's not to say LEGO has never caused problems in our relationship. When it did, though, I came up with the following 10-point solution to cope. More »

Dear Iran: Barbie Ain't So Bad, But Robot Vacs Are Evil

This week, Iran told Barbie, "We have to talk." It's not an all-out Dear John situation, but the blonde dolly may need to tread lightly in the country. She's not the only one: Spider-Man, Batman and Harry Potter are already on the clerical watch list. Yep, the country that brought you carpets, backgammon, ethanol, windmills and carrots—one that until the Islamic Revolution in 1979 was the most progressive state in the Islamic world—is considering a Barbie Ban. When I saw that, I wondered what other products had been branded off limits, and which gadgets were left for the Barbie-less boys and girls to play with. Turns out, the mullahs might not have their priorities straight. More »

The Greatest Hangover Machine Never Built

Oof, my head. The trouble with being a weekend warrior is the day after. This morning I have a troupe of miniature MC Hammers inside my head, stomping in perfect time to the pile-driver thump, and chanting: "STOP! Hangover time!" Kingsley Amis best put the feeling into words in his novel Lucky Jim. "His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum." Oral hygiene aside, my brain has shrunk to the size of a frozen pea, and I can feel it rattling around inside my head like *ponders myopically* God, I don't know what. I'm HUNGOVER for God's sake. Is there a gadget that can help me? Or am I going to have to build one myself? More »

Confessions of a Flickr Snoopr (Admit It, You're One Too)

My name is Addy and I'm a Flickrholic. I'm a window-licking voyeuse who's been pressing her nose up against the cold glass of the lives of utter strangers, snooping through their photostreams. And if you think I'm weird, take a peep through their curtains. Marvel at Polymorfo Perverso's rather delicious fetish portraits (one caption reads "your neck is so much fun") or Gizmodo's favorite tough man as meat-market mascot. If you're a Flickr snoopr like me, you know the giddy, naughty pleasure of it all. If you're not one, well, here's how to become one in a hurry. More »

Salute Our Brave Gizmodians as They Fly Off to CES

So, here I am, on my own in the Giz office. The door has just closed behind the last one (Benny the Intern, struggling under the weight of Our Dear Leader's cases—a different outfit every day, I believe, and 17 brand-new batteries for his MacBook Pro) and it's just me here. Everyone's gone to Vegas for something called, I believe, CSI. More »