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more about #kid more comments → moozicmon: whoever let them make this video should be bitchslapped, good gawd #heliumballoon more » MrHaroHaro: Isn't it rather ironic that if the kid(s) don't get bitchslapped, it would be a form of pussification? #heliumballoon more » Jarrett M. Gosch: Hey not to be a conspiracy theorist, but at 00:04 before the vid ends you can clearly see a string tied to it on the left-hand side. #balloon more » snakepliskin: As someone who graduated with a degree in psychology its very apparent to me that the correct form of punishment would be to bitchslap the entire fami... more » EpiphyteCorp.: Did anyone really believe that a kid could float away in a helium balloon? Really?!?!?! It would take a shit ton of Helium to lift a 6 year-old on... more » nutbastard: I guess he is, shall we say, grounded? #heliumballoon more » ripfire: I heard it was the brother who said that he went inside the balloon in the first place. #heliumballoon more » Lite: hates Illinois Nazis: I have to say, I honestly expected to hear in a few hours that he wasn't actually in the balloon, and was instead camped out in the attic hiding or so... more » Jrsy Devil's Advocate®: With a name like Falcon Heene I'd say that's punishment enough... #heliumballoon more » Denver_80203: OK. Unrelated by why the f*ck do I have to click show hidden comments everytime now? I'm interested in far more than the stars damnit. And I could c... more » Lite: hates Illinois Nazis: Did you say... Spank him? #heliumballoon more » lostarchitect: Well, let's go easy on him. He had no way of knowing his brother told everyone he was in the balloon. He's just a kid and he was scared. #heliumballoon more » omarabuhashish: Update child safe at home and was hiding the the garage attic in a box. more » badhatharry: The kid's been found. He's alive. #balloon more » P3nnst8r: I love how Gizmodo knew who the family and child was before CNN did. #balloon more » -
#ufo
UFO Balloonbrat Falcon Heene Found Safe at Home—Please Someone Spank Him Hard
On one side I'm happy that Falcon Heene—the boy who allegedly was flying uncontrollably inside a homemade, spaceship-shaped helium balloon—was actually safe all the time, hiding at home. On the other, I just want to bitchslap him. Repeatedly. -
#balloonbrat
Boy Flies Away Uncontrollably in Homemade Flying Saucer
6-yo boy Falcon Heene—who allegedly was flying uncontrollably inside a homemade spaceship-shaped helium balloon, now landed—has not been found yet. Colorado police are searching for him now. [Update: Boy was safe, hiding at home. ] More » -
#transformers
14-yo Boy Drinks Gasoline to be like Optimus Prime
I remember the boys jumping off roofs and windows when Superman came out back in 1978 (girls, being a lot smarter than boys, don't do these stupid things). Looks like Transformers has had a similar effect in one boy: More » -
#apple
Apple Will Indoctrinate Your Children with Field Trips
Evil monolith Apple has begun a nefarious program to snatch children from the warm arms of their home PCs with ominous-sounding "field trips." These trips do lead to a field, but not one with grass and trees and sunshine. This is a field of glass, of white plastic, of aluminum, and of shameful minimalism. More » -
#wrongmodo
Never Play Wii with a Dog Behind You. NEVER.
Play Wii with man's best friend if you have to. But please, please, never ever play with a dog behind you. Seriously. Don't. Biff. Don't do that, Biff! Stop it! DON'T! BIFF! BAD DOG! BAD! (NSFMH* video ahead, probably illegal in some states.) More »
