When my son was in grade school, his best friend had one of the first Nintendo consoles (the one where you couldn't shoot the dog). My son wanted one. So we said "Get all A's and B's on your report card and we will buy you the Nintendo." Now, this was a kid who was regularly getting top scores on all the standardized tests, so we knew he could get those grades if he wanted to.
He made it all the way through college and never collected. Our daughter, however, called us from college when she first made the Dean's List and said "Is the deal still on?" So we bought her a PS2.
Back in the day I had a 386 in my room that had a key lock. The folks took the key away, I simply made one from punched steel with a single notch to get around it. With technology the way it is, kids will always find a way around any limitation.
@GothAlice: Such is the attitude of a lot folks today. Oh, kids are just going to do it anyone, so why bother. That's the attitude of a failed parent, not a failed child.
@GothAlice: When my kids were in late grade school I worked from 2pm to 10pm and they were on their own for a couple hours after school till their dad got home. The rule was, no TV till their homework was done, but at first with no parental eagle eye over them that rule was completely ignored.
Of course, when their dad got home all he had to do was lay a hand on the TV and know perfectly well it had been on. So we got a lock for it. The kids figured out how to get around the lock--once. We really meant it about the rule, so we made sure the lock was unbeatable after that.
The key is that if the parents really mean for the rule to be enforced, they will make it their business to outsmart the kid.
I was never a problematic child, but I doubt something like this would have worked. Whenever I did do something that was considered to be wrong, all that was needed was my father's serious voice saying "Pasa por ahi" (walk right through here) which meant walking right next to him and getting smacked on the behind by his chancleta (sandal), or a fly swatter. That was enough for me. Kids are misbehaved these days because parents don't beat them enough.
I had to take electricity away from the kids once. I'm nice, so let them keep their fancy light bulbs, but anything else with electrons flowing through it was confiscated and impounded.
It worked like a charm, and was the last time I ever had to resort to such over the top methods!
I'd have to say that the mere threat of reducing our boys' "screen time" (Wii/DS/Internet/TV) works a lot better on my kids than the whupping I was threatened with when I was their age.
@Abssy_East: So when your parents threatened to spank you if you kept doing whatever it was you were doing you kept doing it? Did they ever follow through with a spanking or just threaten it?
I called my mom a bad word once... once. My dad hit me so hard my mom started crying, and generally she'd be right there to hit me too. I deserved it, and I never said anything like that to my mom ever again. Spanking works. Don't just threaten it... do it.
If your parents spanking you or restricting you from things never worked - Ie. If you just disobeyed your parents regardless of what they did or said - maybe you were just a rotten kid.
Hey mom, research has found positive reinforcement is the most powerful of any of the four types of reinforcement: positive, negative, punishment, and extinction. Adding a positive to increase a response not only works better, but allows both parties to focus on the positive aspects of the situation. Punishment, when applied immediately following the negative behavior can be effective, but results in extinction when it is not applied consistently. Punishment can also invoke other negative responses such as anger and resentment. Do not take away my gadgets when I misbehave. Instead, reward me with more gadgets when I do behave. Win-win.
I think it doesn't work in and of itself, because I've found that parents who merely take away toys as punishment are poor parents to begin with.
A parent shouldn't need to threaten a child by taking away something. As a matter in fact, I'm of a mind that a child shouldn't even have gadgets in their bedroom, period. Whatever gadgets he owns should be the property of the parent, not the child. This way kids don't get this sense that it's a right to have access to these items, but rather a privilege.
@MaWeiTao: My kids were not allowed to have a TV in their bedrooms till after they graduated from high school. We had enough problems with their zoning out in front of the family set (so much so that we installed a lock on it so it only got turned on when we said it could be).
We did have a Commodore 128 for them to play with (time frame: they are 31 and 28 now) but needless to say it wasn't connected to the outside world!
if any of my family took something away from me, I would just think really hard of making them disappear. My sister did that once and vanished into thin air. After that, nobody really bugged me.
Funny thing, keep seeing a mirror image of her in all the cartoons I watch. Silly Ethel...
I was never grounded as a kid. I was forced to do some sort of tedious chore for a long time, and I was supervised while it was done, which was worse. My stuff wasn't taken away. Instead, I was simply unable to use/play with any of it because I was under constant surveillance while my sentence was carried out.
Firstly, the magazine cover is priceless, as it begs that infamous question. You know which.
Secondly, I don't believe it is. I believe that children respond more to being pummeled by guilt. Simply taking their things and leaving them alone doesn't do much, and doesn't require as much effort as making sure that the kid feels bad for misbehaving.
@Kaiser-Machead: I'm a fan of telling your kid to go out front to break off a switch. Nothing compares to telling your child to select the weapon which will prevent him/her from sitting for a week.
@OMG! Ponies!: I prefer all 3 methods. First, I take away their iPod/Nintendo/Cup&Ball. Then, I have them break off said switch or twig. Then, I remind them exactly why they should feel bad as I swipe their rear with said instrument of pain.
@OMG! Ponies!: You can also let them pick which curtain rod to use, and make them put it back up when your done... if you break it on them they get grounded.
@OMG! Ponies!: Meh, doesn't work on older teenagers: What if you have an Emo? I just got off the phone with the Cable company, where I just downgraded to basic cable (report cards just came out). Next would be telling them to downgrade us to the slowest Internet package they have; except that really WOULD hurt me more....
@OMG! Ponies!: My parents weren't into switching us, but our babysitter sure was. Until the night one of my brothers and I acted up substantially while our parents were out, and she said "I'm going out to get a switch!" and as soon as she went out, we locked all the doors and went peacefully off to bed, leaving her on the stoop till our parents got home. Funny thing, we did not get rewarded for ingenuity on that one.
11/24/08
When my son was in grade school, his best friend had one of the first Nintendo consoles (the one where you couldn't shoot the dog). My son wanted one. So we said "Get all A's and B's on your report card and we will buy you the Nintendo." Now, this was a kid who was regularly getting top scores on all the standardized tests, so we knew he could get those grades if he wanted to.
He made it all the way through college and never collected. Our daughter, however, called us from college when she first made the Dean's List and said "Is the deal still on?" So we bought her a PS2.
11/24/08
11/24/08
11/24/08
Of course, when their dad got home all he had to do was lay a hand on the TV and know perfectly well it had been on. So we got a lock for it. The kids figured out how to get around the lock--once. We really meant it about the rule, so we made sure the lock was unbeatable after that.
The key is that if the parents really mean for the rule to be enforced, they will make it their business to outsmart the kid.
11/24/08
11/24/08
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
11/24/08
It worked like a charm, and was the last time I ever had to resort to such over the top methods!
11/24/08
11/24/08
I called my mom a bad word once... once. My dad hit me so hard my mom started crying, and generally she'd be right there to hit me too. I deserved it, and I never said anything like that to my mom ever again. Spanking works. Don't just threaten it... do it.
11/24/08
11/24/08
11/24/08
11/24/08
A parent shouldn't need to threaten a child by taking away something. As a matter in fact, I'm of a mind that a child shouldn't even have gadgets in their bedroom, period. Whatever gadgets he owns should be the property of the parent, not the child. This way kids don't get this sense that it's a right to have access to these items, but rather a privilege.
11/24/08
We did have a Commodore 128 for them to play with (time frame: they are 31 and 28 now) but needless to say it wasn't connected to the outside world!
11/24/08
Funny thing, keep seeing a mirror image of her in all the cartoons I watch. Silly Ethel...
11/24/08
11/24/08
I can't live without my phone!
11/24/08
Secondly, I don't believe it is. I believe that children respond more to being pummeled by guilt. Simply taking their things and leaving them alone doesn't do much, and doesn't require as much effort as making sure that the kid feels bad for misbehaving.
11/24/08
11/24/08
11/24/08
My children will adore me.
11/24/08
Good times.
11/24/08
11/24/08