I’m surprised it took this long to incorporate the greatest Grandma fear of them all—death by doing sex stuff online—into CSI:Cyber’s roster of tech habits that can kill you. But here we are! It’s the sex toy malware episode, and it’s just as preposterous as I’d hoped.
From pinball-loving kidnappers to mass texts of the phrase “Plus I have micropenis,” last night’s Limitless on CBS was in top form as the funniest episode all season. I’d like to share ten of the finest moments from the glorious hour. Spoilers ahead!
“Someone out there is playing Grand Theft Auto—only this is no video game.”
The late ‘90s were the undisputed golden years for three things: Crushed velvet outfits, Beanie Baby hobbyists, and TV crossovers. Cosmo Kramer popped up on Mad About You, characters flitted from Ally McBeal to The Practice, Detective Munch leapt from Homicide: Life on the Street to Law and Order: SVU, Scully and…
“We never should have gotten them those phones!” a desperate mother cries after her sons run away because of a dastardly app. Ah, CSI:Cyber. After last week’s bilious Black Lives Matter episode, this shit train is back to its regular “Did an Old Man Write This After Watching Dateline?” brand of nonsense.
CSI:Cyber is usually stupid in a pleasant way, but last night’s episode took a sharp turn out of comforting dumbness and into racist propaganda diarrhea island.
The plotlines on CSI :Cyber are daft bordering on absurd, but tonight’s episode wins a special Incompetency Award for inadvertently portraying the Cybercrimes Division as a thoroughly corrupt place to work.
The best-worst show about technology came back for its second-season premiere with 100% more Ted Danson and 1000% more dei ex machina driving its plotlines than before. The cast is slightly different, but the relentless corniness is simply amplified.
“You knew all along, didn’t you?” Elliot asks the viewer after the biggest reveal of Mr. Robot season 1. Many, maybe even most, viewers did predict this week’s plot twist. But heading into the season finale, there’s a lot happening in the hacker drama that’s plenty crazy and confusing. SPOILER TIME.
“Two Day of the Condor” is one of the strongest episodes of Silicon Valley yet, turning California labor law and server stability into compelling television. It didn’t have the equivalent of last year’s perfect dick joke, but it had something better: Dramatic tension, and sweet lady justice.
I didn’t get to watch Silicon Valley’s “Binding Arbitration” until this afternoon because of WWDC, so apologies for the late post. In the penultimate episode, we’re treated to some solid courtroom drama, Jared quoting Hitler, and a plotline should ring a thousand bells for anyone who read Gizmodo five years ago.
Silicon Valley picked up the pace this week, with a quick, sharp episode about betrayal, failure, and the indignities of no longer being a billionaire.
Last night’s Silicon Valley is called “Homicide,” and it’s a reference to a fictional energy drink, not intentional killing. But the episode also contains a killer joke about the worst tech products in recent history.
CSI: Cyber’s double-header finale has everything wonderfully horrible about this incoherent, paranoid baloney sandwich of a show: Overwrought melodrama, gargled tech jargon, comical graphics, an extensive array of stylish vests, and Oscar Winner™ Patricia Arquette grimacing her way through a hefty career mistake with…
Most CBS procedurals skew conservative—this is, after all, the network that gave us NCIS, essentially a military police porno for old people— but last night’s episode of CSI:Cyber was like an hour-long PSA co-written by Glenn Beck, the Concerned Mothers Against Video Games, and my mom after my brother almost failed AP…
Even though Silicon Valley primarily follows (and mocks) a small startup, the show has always been stellar at satirizing the tech establishment. This week’s episode uses a wearable robotic monkey hand to make a point about how the big companies can be the biggest (and sometimes most literal) shitshows of them all.
A man buying coffee has a bad case of the dizzies, which honestly happens to me fairly regularly before I consume caffeine in the morning. But if you think he just needs his cup of morning java then hoo boy have you got the wrong show. This is CSI-Fucking:Cyber and we are about to witness some INTERNET CRIME.
Last night’s Silicon Valley, “The Lady,” gets its title from two places: First, there’s a new programmer on the Pied Piper team, and it’s a womaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn (Oprah voice).
I pride myself on being able to figure out twists on network procedurals, but I hope this is the first and last time I have to type these objectively humiliating lines: CSI:Cyber really pulled the rug out from under me in tonight’s episode! I was genuinely surprised by what I perceived to be an unexpected twist!
The Pied Piper gang finally has its Ari Gold, and that’s a good thing. Silicon Valley has been distinguishing itself this season by how deftly its satire straddles the line between realism and absurdism, but it’s been intermittently subdued.