Gizmodo: ridiculous

Bentley Makes a Safe For Expensive Watches, Perfect for Wall Street Execs Looking to Piss Us Off Even More

Adam Frucci — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:20:00 EDT

You know you're rich when you drop tens of thousands of dollars on a fancy watch. You know you're obscenely, ridiculously rich when you have so many of said fancy, expensive watches that you need a specially-designed safe to hold and show off all of them. Stockinger and Bentley have teamed up to make a line of safes designed to hold watches and only watches. Some of them even have some sort of fancy, high-tech watch winder inside. But people won't buy it for that. They'll buy it because they want to store their million dollars' worth of watches in a safe with the Bentley logo on it, because they are douchebags. Case closed. [BornRich]

Second Gates-Seinfeld Ad Shows They're Very Rich, Unlike Us

Elaine Chow — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:18:25 EDT

Remember that first Seinfeld-and-Gates adventure into Shoe Circus, which alluded to something about Windows being “soft and chewy and delicious?” Well, the new Laural and Hardy of ambiguous advertising have a new spot out and it's... making fun of your average scalloped potato-eating, leather giraffe from Cabo-buying, grumpy Grandma-having Suburban family. The incredibly rich duo try to connect on a “normal people” level and kind of fail utterly. Like Windows Vista. I think.

The ad aired on September 11 on CBS' “Big Brother” reality show. It's funnier than the first and you get to see Jerry clip his toenails and Bill do the robot, but as a Windows user, I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to think about this. “Looks like Macs aren't the only thing catering specifically to East and West coast elitists?” [ZDNet]

Wii Music Parody Really Gives Nintendo What's Coming

Jason Chen — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:50:00 EDT

Wii Music, Nintendo's "answer" to the music and rhythm games, is considered by many (including us) as one of the worst things Nintendo has ever put out. Good thing Sarcastic Gamer of Wii Fit and Microsoft Surface parody fame is on the job. Even though the general tech audience has resigned themselves to the fact that the public will buy any piece of crap with the Wii label on it, we're still holding out a sliver of hope that even idiots won't want to flail around while a guitar + xylophone + trumpet version of Yankee Doodle blares from their TV set. [Sarcastic Gamer]

Jet-Powered Batmobile is the Flattest Car Ever

Jason Chen — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:10:00 EDT

This crazy, crazy "Flatmobile" is going to enter the Guinness books as the flattest vehicle ever. How flat is it? Nineteen inches. I think that's about how flat we'd be if we laid on our backs (depending on what's on our minds and what we ate for lunch). Not only is this Batmobile-like contraption dangerous, it's extremely dangerous—creator Perry Watkins shoved a gas turbine jet engine on the butt. It's also supposedly street legal, but we wouldn't want to be in it during a rollover. Or when the jet turbine catches fire because the AFTERBURNER FAILED. See that video after the jump. [Flatmobile via Nexus 404]

My 15-Monitor Setup Sure Makes Up for My Lousy Childhood!

Adam Frucci — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:26:30 EDT

Oh, look at you with your three monitors. I bet you think you're king nerd of computer mountain, don't you? Well you know what? You suck. That's right. That's because I have fifteen monitors strung together making my screen bigger than all of yours. Did you hear me?! I HAVE THE BIGGEST SCREEN! Finally, I win at something!

This monster of a display setup is made possible by 9X Media's multi-display setups. Sure, it's likely to topple over and pin me down, leaving me to slowly starve to death in my own home, my cellphone just out of reach up on my desk and no one coming to visit me or check on me because I've alienated all of my friends and family with my constant bragging and boasting about my gigantic monitor setup, but the fragging I'll do before that happens will make it all worth it.

This scalable setup will allow you to link between two to thirty monitors together and beyond, as long as you've got the juice to send your picture to that many screens and don't mind your $500 monitors to be handing 8 pixels each. But hey, it's not the quality that counts, it's the ridiculous size, right? [9X Media via BornRich]

Ridiculous Rumor: Xbox 360 Ultimate With HD DVD On-Board Coming Says Some Guy On a Forum

Jason Chen — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 10:20:42 EDT

Here's a ridiculous rumor that has just about zero chance to be true. Some guy on a forum says a Gamestop employee told him that Microsoft is bringing an Xbox Ultimate complete with HD DVD drive built right in. Judging from the "transcript" the user posted, neither him or the Gamestop employee really knew what they were talking about, but hey, this is a forum. What did you expect? Transcript:

Me: Hey, do you have the Premiums with the hdmi? GT: Those are called the elites. They are right there. ME: No, I mean the premiums, *points*, with hdmi. GT: They're not making them yet till like later. ME: They're making them now, I've seen pictures of them online. GT: No, they're not. You got it wrong. ME: Nowai. GT: Let me explain, they're making the elites into premiums, and dropping the core. ME: WHAA.. GT: Microsoft told me they're making the elites into premiums, and later they're releasing xbox ultimate. ME: WTF is that? GT: It's the xbox 360 that has a hdmi, and a HD-DVD drive to compete with blu-ray. ME: Are they putting HD-DVD games on it? GT: Yeah, Microsoft is competing against Blu-ray. ME: Orly, what about the 9 million people that bought 360 last year. They're fucked! lol GT: No, they're fine. ME: The 360 can't play HD-DVD right now. GT: Well it could, sort of. The xbox ultimate and the HD-DVD drive just makes it more HD. ME: ... ME: ... ME: ... ME: Uh, so who do you think will win the war. GT: Blu-ray or HD-DVD, too early to tell. ME: Not that one. The other one. GT: Uh, 360 man. ME: The Wii is kicking it's ass right now. GT: Well, you see, the wii is in another market by itself on the side. ME: It's new-gen. GT: Yeah. ME: It's nice talking to you. I tell my forum about xbox ultimate. GT: Peace out.

[Neogaf via Gamers Creed via Slashgear]

Human-Powered Forklift

Jason Chen — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 16:20:56 EDT

Condolences to you if your company is too cheap to afford a real forklift and forces you to use this human powered one. As if pedaling the thing bike style wasn't insulting enough, you have to actually use your arms to lift up to 30kg—and then start pedaling to wherever the hell it is you're moving the thing to.

A definite workout, yes, but it's definitely not cool when your manager switches your pay over into the maintenance budget. Oh, you crazy Japanese! – Jason Chen

Nikkei [via Plastic Bamboo]