Prince George of Cambridge, the new royal baby, is not the first infant to cause a big ruckus with his birth. England's history is filled with tales of incredible savagery and violence spawned by the arrival of a new prince in this tragic kingdom.
England's new royal baby probably should've been a girl, and might already be too fat. But he was a royal bargain when compared to the price of giving birth to a common American baby. Kate Middleton's hospitalization cost about $15,000 in U.S. dollars, or less than half the average medical costs for a U.S. mom to give…
He looks like pink blob, as expected. Two arms. Two legs (I guess?). One head. No extra eyes. No tentacles in sight. The future King of England is a normal baby. Or so it seems. All is good in the world and the British Empire breathes easy again.
The world is once again expected to pay attention to the birth of a new Holy Infant in England, but isn't it time these royals were dealt with the way the French dealt with their kings and queens? Why not just be mercilessly ruled by powerful rich people who don't have crowns?
While the royal uterus prepares to eject the royal baby, at least one reporter has finally had it with the pointless standing outside of the hospital, because the announcement of the Holy Birth will come from the palace, not the hospital. Mind your manners, BBC reporter!
England is dreaming of its next royal baby, soon to arrive via the body of Kate Middleton, the lucky lady chosen to breed with one of the United Kingdom's most popular princes. Middleton was just taken to the birthing hospital, and that means a royal baby is almost reality!
Kate Middleton is the princess who will soon give birth to Britain's next queen, health experts have determined from Middleton's weight. She looks normal to regular eyes, but to a qualified doctor, she's basically obese. This means the new royal baby will be a girl queen. It's about time the U.K. had a queen.
I felt sorry watching the puppet-like "Prince of Wheels" wobbling about on an electric bike for the first time, surrounded by photographers and journalists. Apparently he thought it'd work like a scooter, not realizing he had to pedal. Oh dear. [Evening Standard]
Every marketing manager and his dog has dreamt up a little royal wedding cash-cow in time for the nuptials tomorrow. But which gift should you buy—either to send to the newlyweds, or to sheath in plastic wrap and bury under your bed for the grandchildren, who'll only wrinkle their noses and toss it in the bin 60…