The BedBunker is a 1300lb 10 gauge steel strongbox that locks your arsenal away safely with a hydraulic gas-assist piston—even in a fire. Withstanding up to 1533 degrees for 2 hours, the BedBunker keeps your guns safe from your extensive napalm collection, making $2,200+ a small price to pay for a good night of your guns' sleep. [BedBunker via Uncrate via OhGizmo!]

Mmmmm. It makes the cheeseburger in a can look like a Shackburger. See what the chicken looks like after cooking and more yummy yum yum photos here: [I Hate My Message Board via Food Network Humor via Geekologie]

The bed was originally developed for a wealthy international customer that wanted to keep a handgun close by at all times, but it is just as useful for keeping you valuables secure. The safe can be added to any Hollandia bed for around $400, but the beds themselves can run in excess of $20,000. As an alternative, you could always pick up a pair of skid marked security briefs for around $6. It's probably just as effective. [Hollandia via Born Rich]

The shock safe does just that, administering a jolt to anyone who dares tamper with it. It uses a four-digit code to keep itself locked up, and it has flashing lights and sound effects as well, which are features found on every serious safe. The jolt is probably pretty weak, but so is a mere four-digit code, so what can you do. [Product Page via Red Ferret]

Since the electronic code, operated by the front wheels, is direction sensitive—introducing "21" to the right is not the same as introducing it to the left—that gives you 305 billion code combinations to unlock the mechanism. If someone tries to move the safe, it also has an alarm that would be fired by the built-in accelerometers connected to the Mindstorms NXT core.

• Large Digit display (using Custom Digits, and MyNumOut routine)
• Outside dimensions 38x38x38cm, creating 30 Litres of internal storage space
• Internal safety bars prevent stone walls to be disassembled
• Automatic un-Locking / Locking of the vault (Motorized lock)
• Automatic opening and closing door (Motorized door)
• Automatic burglar alarm (using HiTechnic Acceleration Sensor)
• Variable un-locking code, set by user during locking.
• Heavy, 7cm thick, door with secret Power-On/Off buttons.

If you are the rightful owner of the safe, however, it's a delight to use. Once you introduce the code, the electric motor will open the door for you.

Jesús Díaz: How much time did it take you to build from design to final?
Frank de Nijs: It took me 10 hours tot create the basic idea (mechanics), an additional 45 hours to build, and rebuild it (trial on error, you might say). And another 12 hours to think, write and rewrite the software.

JD: I know it's Lego sacrilege, but is it glued (for security)?
FdJ: Hey, we are talking about valuable Lego here! This SAFE is going to be disassabled in a few weeks to become something completely different! :D

JD: Have you tried to force it open in a hard way?
FdJ: Once I had to. When the safe is open you can pull open a small entry in the rearside of the door to recharge the NXT module. Once i forgot to do that in time... So my batteries were too low to operate the safe... And it was locked. The inside of the safe is secured with interlocked Technic Beams to avoid pulling the safe into pieces too easilly. But it is unglued Lego so finally there is allwwas a way to get in, simply by taking the door apart, piece by piece...

JD: How many pieces does it take?
FdJ: The model consists of about 2350 parts

[Lego Examples via Craziest Gadgets]

This wall clock tells the time and also hides your goods. Unless the person robbing you is really desperate for a new timepiece, they won't touch the clock. Unless they've read this, in which case, whoops, our bad. –Adam Frucci

Product Page [Book of Joe]

Now they'll know to check every "Arioso" bottle of water, too, because this $40 Water Bottle Safe looks a bit like a bottle of Aquafina. Hide your valuables (or maybe even a bit o' weed!) in there until all those thieves who read Gizmodo figure that one out, too. – Charlie White

Water Bottle Safe Uses Actual Liquid [Oh Gizmo]

Product Page [Via SCI FI]

This little laser beam safe won't let anyone near your stash unless they punch in a secret code and slice off a fingertip to unlock the biometric security system. If the laser beams break, it cries like when you take candy from a baby. (Even if it's not as fun.)

It's just under 7 inches on each side, so you won't be able to hold much more than your stack of ultra-rare Magic The Gathering cards. Yes, we know about those. $30 bucks at the Discovery Channel store.–Brian Lam

Discovery Laser Beam Safe [Via Crunchgear]

The only problem with this is the ground hole on the outlet is on the top instead of on the bottom, which makes the burglar's game of "which one is different from the rest" quite easy.

Update: Reader Chad tells us the invertedness may be intentional:

I just started to do some house hunting and notice this in the newer houses. The ground on top is to represent a outlet controlled by a light switch.

Wall Outlet Mini Safe [via Ohzigmo]

Think about it—what thief in his right mind would be rummaging around inside a shitty pair of underpants? Great for hotel rooms. We're just wondering where you would keep shorts like this—lying in the middle of the floor?

Product page [via Random Good Stuff]

Off Limits Voice Vault Toy [Dark Planets]