Gizmodo: Safety First

Elderly Airbag Turns Old People into Superballs

Sean Fallon — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:40:00 EDT

The large elderly population in Japan has manufacturers clamoring to develop devices to assist them. Not surprisingly, they are coming up with some pretty unique ideas. Take this human airbag, for instance. The airbag system is strapped onto the body and inflates in 0.1 seconds when it detects rapid movement toward the ground. Strangely, one pocket will be behind the head and another behind the hips—but there is no protection for a forward fall. So, Grandpa is on his own if he should trip and fall face-first in the street. Walk it off, Grandpa...walk it off. [BBC]

Condom Dispensing "Don't Panic" Button For Emergencies

Sean Fallon — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:30:00 EDT

Everyone loves a good panic button, and what bigger emergency is there than being condomless when you find a woman that actually wants to have sex with you? Relax, this condom dispensing "Don't Panic" button has your back. Well, it would if it actually existed. Unfortunately, it is currently in the concept phase. [Designspotter]

Moron Lies Down on Moving Motorcycle to Send Text Messages

Sean Fallon — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:00:00 EDT

If laws about driving and using cellphones in American cities are cramping your style, move to scenic India, where anything goes! Watch in horror as this lunatic barrels down the highways of New Delhi sending text messages. Hey, why stop there? Yeah, go on and take that nap. Your fellow motorists will love it and the police...haha, what police? [Geekologie]

Zak Nudevest: A Transparent Lifejacket For Nudists

Sean Fallon — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:20:00 EDT

What are nudists to do when enjoying their favorite watersports? I mean, safety is one thing, but wearing a traditional lifejacket means unsightly tan lines and breasts yearning to be free. Fortunately a Korean company has manufactured a transparent lifejacket dubbed the "Zak Nudevest" that ensures buoyancy and exposure for the discerning naked consumer. I suppose that the jacket could also be used for clothed individuals that simply feel foolish wearing big, orange lifejackets—but that problem is not nearly as arousing. Available for around $15. [Earlyadopter via TFTS]

Wizard Rapid Descender Backpack Beats Taking the Stairs

John Mahoney — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:30:00 EDT

If everyone living or working in precariously elevated positions could shoot Spidey-silk from their wrists in case of an unexpected fall, there would be no need for the Wizard rapid-descender concept from UK design shop HJC. But a sleek Dyson-esque backpack housing up to 250 meters of woven liquid polyester that can hold you and two tons worth of distressed damsels is a fair second option. If this thing comes to market, I think I've found my new treehouse-egress solution. [Yanko Design]

Psycho Constructs Bungee Cord Out of Condoms, Then Jumps

Sean Fallon — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Why would someone bungee jump with a cord made out of condoms you ask? If you thought it was an effort to make a statement about safe sex, you're wrong. Apparently the only real motivation Carl Dionisio had for the attempt was his own lunacy—he was hoping to re-create the "virgin buzz" he had with his first jump. Over the course of four months he and a friend constructed the rope using 18,500 condoms and a tried-and-true mathematical formula. Despite being 99% sure it would work, Dionisio admitted that his stomach was "in a knot for a month before the jump."

In the end, the 98 ft. condom rope managed to hold him, which is actually not all that surprising when you consider that standards for condom tensile strength usually require that it be able able to stretch to at least 650% of its original length. So, it appears that Dionisio will live to devise yet another stupid method of putting his life on the line (how about a second attempt with lubricated condoms?). The only question I have is what brand did he use? That would make for one hell of a commercial. [Metro]

European Company Looks To Make a Death Proof Car

Sean Fallon — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:30:00 EDT

It may not be Kurt Russell's stunt car, but if a European company named Prevent is successful in its quest, the world will have the first "uncrashable" vehicle. As their name suggests, the approach they are taking does not involve any space age armor to avoid damage in the event of an accident, rather, the focus is on new technologies that prevent accidents from occurring in the first place. A list of some of these innovations are listed after the break.

WILLWARN: Uses wireless communication to warn the driver about potential hazards that lie ahead.
MAPS&ADAS: Alerts drivers to terrain hazards using sat-nav maps.

SASPENCE: Analyzes safe driving distances and speed.

LATERALSAFE: Keeps an eye on your blind spot.

APALACI and COMPOSE: Analyzes the speed and trajectories of other vehicles and pedestrians in real time.

The systems developed by Prevent are already being tested in the Volvo FH12, BMW 545i, Fiat Stilo, Alfa Romeo 156 and Mercedes E350, but they acknowledged that it would be "a while" before on-board vehicle computers are sophisticated enough to take advantage of this technology. [Science Daily via Jalopnik]

Wacky Afghan Engineer Develops Remote Controlled Kalashnikov Burglar Alarm

Sean Fallon — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:00:00 EDT

The infamous Kalashnikov has a long and illustrious history of murder and mayhem, which makes it the perfect centerpiece for a contraption developed by unemployed Afghan electrical engineer Hanif Molavizadeh. With only a small movement outside his window, the device will trigger a "song like warning." It will then call Molavizadeh's cellphone which can be used to send a message to the would-be thief through the alarm box. If that doesn't work, the Kalashnikov can be fired remotely to lay down some serious vigilante justice.

Not content to stop with home protection, Molavizadeh has expanded his unique and painful approach to crime fighting to the automotive realm. In fact, he has already constructed a system that can deliver a non-lethal electric shock to a car thief via his cellphone. Despite interest from private individuals and local news sources, the Afghan government isn't taking his work seriously—which shows you just how bad the situation is in Afghanistan. This is the kind of dude you keep your eye on. [NPR via Gizmag]

Safe Turn Keeps Cyclists From Getting Killed (Athough This Guy Probably Won't Make It)

Sean Fallon — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:30:35 EST

Basically, Safe Turn is a wrist-mounted indicator light that automatically flickers to life whenever a cyclist raises his/her arm to signal a turn. In order to prevent the device from lighting during normal actions, like reaching for a water bottle or scratching the nose or ass, the device incorporates a "delayed start" feature that only allows the light to turn on if the user's arm has been in position for more than 200 milliseconds.

If you are one of the few cyclists out there who is courteous enough to use hand signals on the road, the Safe Turn may be a useful device—although it looks as though the guy in the picture may have waited a little too long. Available for $18. [Product Page via Gizmag via Gearfuse]

Teen Driver Cam Keeps Tabs on Horrible Teenage Drivers

Adam Frucci — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 15:45:00 EDT

Look out, horrible teenage drivers: there's a new device out there that your justifiably concerned parents can purchase to not only track where you are while you're driving, but to actually see you. Yeah, now your parents can bust you smoking pot or pleasuring yourself in the car without happening to drive up next to you. Bad news for you, good news for people who want to survive their commute home from work.

Teen Safe Driver is a camera provided by insurance companies that attaches to the windshield and points right at the driver. Since it can be used to keep people safe by ensuring kids stay off their damned cellphones and keep their illegally purchased beers closed and away until they get to Steve's parents' house, it's free if you live in a number of states, even giving you a healthy 15% discount on your premiums if you use it. It's a win-win for the insurance companies, who save money by not having to pay for car repairs/funerals all while looking like saints who just want to keep the roads safer. And really, who doesn't? I know it sucks, teenagers, but if you could drive without crashing this wouldn't be necessary. You have only yourselves and your still-developing brains to blame. [Yahoo News via Uber Review]