Like Isaac Newton and gravity, The Christmas Truck was the results of one man's sudden inspiration. Kris Marshall was hauling a generator and a few strands of Christmas lights to his church in a $50 used truck. He simply combined the two and The Christmas Truck was born.

It's amazingly nontechnical, it's literally just lights taped to a truck. According to Marshall "It's not very scientific, it's a hideous site in the daylight, there's black tape and wires in the daytime." But at night it's amazing. Marshall has used eight trucks and added dozens of strand since, though it's always a 2WD Chevy/GMC with a regular cab and eight-foot truck bed "the way a truck ought to look."

By his own estimate there are 50-to-70 strings with a mixture of 50 and 100 lights each, making a conservative estimate of 3,000 lights. There are no LEDs, just the cheap $0.89 strings, though he'd like to add some to take pressure off the taxed generator.

It's a hit around Dallas and Polk Counties in Iowa, where Marshall is a GMC truck salesman. He often pulls hayrides and drives in parades around the holiday seasons. Unfortunately, not all police officers understand.

"It's totally illegal and almost all the cops are cool with that. Almost all... some of them don't get it. Last night I met two cops in four minutes and they just smiled. I think I've got most of them trained."

With the exception of a few tickets for illegal use of lights, the only other downside to The Christmas Truck is when one of his sons decides to use it for a date.

"If you're picking up your girlfriend in the Christmas truck and she's not expecting the Christmas Truck that can be a dealbreaker."

We salute Kris Marshall for a display of holiday exuberance high on awesome but appropriately low on ingenuity for someone who thinks a working heater in a truck is "a luxury."

Apple, Why Must You Make Simon Pegg So Sad?

Twartered by Simon Pegg (star of Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead, Spaced, and some movie about spaceships or something) earlier today:

My Macbook Air has been in hospital for two weeks. Please, Apple Store, Brent Cross give me my baby back!!!!!

And later:

Got my old Macbook Pro to fill the void but it's lost its looks, refuses to behave and is full of shit. Like a teenager. Miss the wee one.

Dear Simon,

I know what you're going through. My own 2009 MacBook Pro has needed several major repairs since I paid Apple lots of money (so much money) for it five months ago, and each time it's been a rough separation. You'll pull through, I know it. After all, I did. Semper fi, brother.

Sincerely,
Dan. [Twitter 1, 2]

Santa: "Ho Ho Ho, Make a U-Turn, You Idiot"

Sometimes I get tired of that stern robot lady from Google that barks directions at me through my Droid, but I don't know that I've ever wished she could be replaced by Santa Claus. But Telenav went ahead and added a $1 Santa voice for its GPS Navigator, which is available for a host of phones (mostly BlackBerry, WinMo, and PalmOS, not carrier-specific). If you want Christmas cheer in a kind of weird way, it's available now. [Telenav]

What In God's Name Is Going on on the USS Enterprise

Okay you guys this Star Trek overdub is so simultaneously weird, hilarious and impressive that I don't want to spoil it by making any pithy little remarks. Suffice to say, are you for panda rape? Crazy woman! [YouTube]

Sony Updates eBook Store

Sony may think this minor change is an "Important eBook Store Update," but then, they kind of have to. They changed the name of the store, from "The eBook Store from Sony" (which is admittedly sort of cumbersome) to "Reader Store," and all new ebooks will be in the ePub standard. So why is it in Remainders? I'd tell you if my face wasn't slowly sinking into my keyboard out of boredomghhhhhgggggghhhhhhh. [Sony]

This picture is what.

If we had one complaint, it'd be that Rudolph's tumorous nose is not filled with a startlingly bright red LED. Because if it were, when minifig Prancer decided to be a jerk during reindeer games, minifig Rudolph could blind him with crimson before slicing his Achilles tendon. Looks like there's spot open in reindeer four square after all, Prancer. [Flickr via technabob]

[Andrew Colunga via Neatorama]

There's really great stuff all around here, including quite a few entries that would probably scar any toddlers who saw them for life, which I see as a good sign. Here are your top three winners followed by the rest of the best in our Gallery of Champions.

First Place — Brandon Frenzel
Second Place — Matthew Copeland
Third Place — StrangeCase

Your task is to upgrade Santa Claus with technology. Come up with your best images and email them to me at contests@gizmodo.com with "Upgraded Santa" in the subject line. Save your images as JPGs, PNGs or GIFs, and save your files named as FirstnameLastname.jpg using the name you want to be credited with.

On Tuesday, I'll go through the entries, pick three winners and then post the rest of the best in our Gallery of Champions. Get to it!

Which means that, one, the no cash excuse will soon be gone forever, and two, even if there wasn't a five-dollar minimum, giving anything less than five bucks when you bust out the plastic would've officially made you a dick anyway, so it's an exceptionally shrewd maneuver. I think I actually feel somewhat violated by this, but how do you have hard feelings against a charity? I guess I am a dick. [Star Telegram via Crunch Gear]

On the one hand, we're still slightly scared that NORAD's diverting one or more of its satellites to the location of Santa. What better way to take us out than for another country to launch on Xmas. Our first president did it, so it's fair game after all. On the other hand, we're glad it's NORAD and not DARPA that's doing the tracking. We've played Metal Gear Solid, and we know what kind of crazy shit they do. [NORAD Santa]

Oh, before you suggest the iPhone, think—the dude wears gloves most of the time. I cannot believe I had to point that out. Drop your non-iPhone related suggestions below. [Image via Jupitar Images]

9:38:07 AM northpole@live.com: This Microsoft Agent is powered by Windows Live Agents. Microsoft's Privacy Statement (http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=74170) applies to all information which you provide to this Microsoft Agent. Please be careful about information which you provide to online services and follow safety tips, some of which can be found at http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/default.mspx.
9:38:07 AM northpole@live.com: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, jc! I'm Santa Claus!

Tell me, are you a boy or a girl?
9:38:17 AM jc: pizza (pi)
9:38:17 AM northpole@live.com: Sorry - Santa really needs to know if you're a boy or a girl.
9:38:20 AM jc: boy
9:38:21 AM northpole@live.com:

And what do you want for Christmas, jc?
9:38:27 AM jc: pizza (pi)
9:38:27 AM northpole@live.com: Yum!
9:38:37 AM jc: Maybe you shouldn't eat so much! You are quite large!
9:38:37 AM northpole@live.com: Ho ho ho?
9:38:42 AM jc: Eat it!
9:38:43 AM northpole@live.com: Go grab something healthy to eat. And when you'll be back you'll find me right there.
9:38:45 AM jc: Eat it!
9:38:45 AM northpole@live.com: If you need a break to go eat, I will be right there when you come back.
9:38:47 AM jc: Eat it!
9:38:47 AM northpole@live.com: Go grab something healthy to eat. And when you'll be back you'll find me right there.
9:38:51 AM jc: Eat it
9:38:51 AM northpole@live.com: If you need a break to go eat, I will be right there when you come back.
9:38:57 AM jc: Maybe you shouldn't eat it?
9:38:57 AM northpole@live.com: Interesting!
What do you want for Christmas, jc?
9:39:35 AM jc: YOU SHOULD EAT IT
9:39:35 AM northpole@live.com: If you need a break to go eat, I will be right there when you come back.

No luck. [The Register]

As is the tradition every year, Norad uses their fancy satellites, which are supposed to warn us about incoming North Korean nukes, to track Santa's progress in delivering Wiis and PS3s to good little boys and girls.

So if half of our population is gone on the morning of December 25 thanks to some Kim Jung Bombs, you know who to blame. – Jason Chen

Norad Santa

See, if you win this deal, you not only get three 60GB PS3s, you get 21 Blu-ray movies, all the launch games, plus a limosine chauffer to chart you to the airport. Once you're there, you board a Gulf Stream G4 jet where you get taken to the north pole to meet Santa and the elves.

Better start bidding now, cause auction ends December 11. And Santa doesn't have all day to wait around for you this time of year. – Jason Chen

Auction [eBay via Kotaku]