Teen Capable Only of Texting to Be Euthanized, Reports The Onion

Tragic news today reported in a hard-hitting Onion exclusive. A teenage girl, capable only of texting and rolling her eyes sarcastically has been declared legally brain-dead, and will be euthanized by her parents. Using this case as precedent, bodies are sure to be stacking up, judging by what I see on the subway… » 1/31/12 7:40pm 1/31/12 7:40pm