The Dream Cat Venus is coming to Japan this month for $110. Both touch and sound sensitive, the Venus (no relation to the planet or the feminine razor) reacts to your petting and talking with a proper amount of nudging and purring. And like the Sony Aibo, the Dream Cat can actually "see" through its camera-enabled eyes.

But does this poor robot need to look like the product from a My First Taxidermy kit? Drop the realism for a moment, Sega, and let these helpless kittenbots out of your dungeon in the uncanny valley. Such amoral plush tactics may work fine to tease the buffets of Melmac, but no one wants to see Japan become Melmac...any more than it already has. [Sega Toys (pdf) via CrunchGear]

Dr. Itami, who is actually not a sex doctor by any means, said that a competitor was "illegally using images and video from Itami.com" to promote their product. I'm not sure what the competitive angle would be here, but definitely see the humor—hence, the hoax conclusion. Something about the product was just so over the top that it even earned an "assuming this isn't all a prank" disclaimer in our writeup.

In a way, it's all a bit sad. LoveTrainer.com is now a placeholder site and will almost certainly never come back, but more importantly what, without the LoveTrainer, will happen to my sex life, our sex lives, and sex as a phenomenon? Things look bleak, people. [LoveTrainer, RIP]

Made by Sega Toys (oh, how far the mighty have fallen) and resembling company's Body Trainer exercise aid almost exactly, this odd little gadget measures your heart rate, providing you with helpful messages during the course of whatever undoubtedly depressing sexual episode you've decided it should be a part of. You can listen to these messages at the website (slightly NSFW, highly recommended), but here they are in convenient, easily printable list form:

The foreplay, will now begin!
Please confirm the heart rate sensor!
Your stamina will be evaluated!
The lovemaking, will now begin!
Following the beat, make love much harder!
You are making love, at a very good pace!
Making love a bit more gentler, would be perfect!
Well done! Let's make love more regularly!

The LoveTrainer will also pipe in music from your iPod for personal enjoyment, just in case you're too embarrassed to put your Star Wars Imperial March brand of doin'-it music on actual speakers. The privilege of using the LoveTrainer will set you back $80, assuming this entire site isn't some kind of elaborate hoax. [LoveTrainer—Thanks, Chris!]

Its Segway-esque legs dance to the beat of any MP3 player via 3.5mm jack, and its 49 LEDs stay shining like some kind of cybernetic Rhinestone Cowboy. The A.M.P. has touch-sensitive DJ scratching pads and 62 sound effects built in so you can spice up your songs with a little "wiki-wiki", and an IR sensor so he will follow you (and his remote) from room to room and keep the music playing in your direction.

Too bad the A.M.P. costs 500-f'ing-dollars, which won't even buy you a Li-ion battery, since you either plug the knee-high bot into the wall (huh?) or fill it full of D cells. What's this thing made of? SOLID GOLD? It sure dances like it. Bring the price down to $99, and I will buy it. Available in October. [A.M.P., Gearlog]

Update: Robert from Robots Rule tells us that it's just a localized version of the Femisapien, which we've covered before.

With three modes for walking, jogging and aerobics, the device also accepts audio input from an MP3 player so you can jog along to your favorite tunes, or a recording of your most inspiring jody if you actually are a military type. Available in April for around $53. [Tech.co.uk and Dvice]

However, you may not want to organize an import, which will set you back 5,775 ($51), just yet. According to new research, fresh out of Mark's very own brain, taking a 25-minute walk/day is actually more beneficial than solving puzzles from dusk till dawn. The research is actually spearheaded by Art Kramer, who states there is no conclusive evidence for any slowing of the brain's aging with use of such video games. Hey, what the hell? It's not going to make you any more of a gargantuan douche, right? [Product Page (Japanese Link), via Technabob]

I can't wait 'til they all hit the market so I can finish building my robotic animal farm...

More Super Realistic Robotic Animals From Sega Toys [TokyoMango]

The HomeStar—yes, we know, Strong Bad—costs $229.99 and lets you project the universe on your ceiling and walls. This 2 pound ball can also simulate the starscape in the northern and southern hemispheres and includes a travel adapter for when you want to show off to that girl you picked up at the Fleisch Marke.

Product Page [Brando]

Segatoys HomeStar Planetarium [uncrate]

Sega Toys presented some items with these characters at the end of the last year, including this "Rumine (illuminating) Wristband", which flashes in response to vibration, by pressing the button of the game or the sound of clapping hands. On March 3, twenty-one official shops promoting the line, called "LB Style Square",; are opening with 　200 items including clothing and stationary. The plan is to open 100 shops with 1,200 products within this year. The wristband costs about 13 bucks alone, or $17 with some twinkling decoration stickers.

Product Page[Sega Toys]

Sega Toys Sound Carrier (in Japanese) [SegaToys via I4U]

iDog - Listens to Music, Dances with Rhythm, Sings Songs [Universal Models]
Product Page [Sega Toys]