Gallery updated with posts from Debby showing the scale of the Sqweel.

Dr. Herbenick says that the Sqweel couldn't be any better unless they pushed it up to 11 tongues, Spinal Tap-style. Girls, time for a new toy in your arsenal for just $55 plus shipping from distant Albion. [LoveHoney]

And so now, since it's my last day, I'm lightning reviewing the Tinge Razor.

The Pitch: It looks like and actually works as a razor (it even comes with cartridges), but when you put the cap on and press some set of buttons, it turns into a personal massager with 32 different speed and mode combinations.

The Price: $99 gets you the Tinge Razor, its charging base, universal power adapter, two shaving razor cartridges and a bottle of gel.

The Verdict: For some odd reason (hint, visa regulations of a certain country I reside in), I find myself traveling a lot, and lemmee tell ya - does it get stressful! So having a personal massager around that, incidentally, also functions as a shaver was actually more useful than I first thought.

The actual massage was pleasant, if not as strong as it could have been – though that could have been due to me not charging it long enough. I especially liked "mode four" of the five different modes you could choose from: it starts from a low roll and escalates in power.

Not having to worry about what the voltage of whatever country I'm in is was a big plus. The fact that I could pull it out anytime and get a massage discreetly was an even bigger plus. Though I'm not sure exactly what I need to be discreet about. Can't a girl loosen up some muscles without being judged? Geez.

What? It's for use on my... what?

Okay... if you say so. But I don't know, she didn't seem to enjoy it that much. [My Tinge]

The SOM, a USB-connected wank toy, comes packaged with a game called Cross Days. Developers hooked up the SOM to be coordinated with the action on screen during the "climax scenes", which is so obvious execution of the two products that we're sure this has been done before.

Would we recommend it? That's tough to say without trying. But at the very least it'll prevent:

[Japanese Site via Some Other Japanese Site via Kotaku]

For all those who were gagging to see a giant illuminated phallus, I apologise; it was a very mean trick. Graphic image aside, the Oral Sex Light will set you back $13.99, and mounts (ha) via a clip-on ear piece. The torch attached is completely flexible, meaning you can totally scope out those hard to find regions. Unfortunately, if you ever did try to wow a date with your I-come-prepared attitude, she'll likely be out of the door quicker than she could say, "What the hell was I doing there in the first place?" At that point, you'll have to make use of the Oral Sex Light on your own, which will be an even sadder and more twisted state of affairs than normal. You suck. [Nerd Approved]

The thruster attaches to a table or other solid surface and has a "Highspeed piston," "Powerful movement" and a "High quality stabilizer". It's essentially a masturbation machine you control with that hand lever, which varies speed and intensity depending on how you like it.

Kanjo Toys claims that it's fantastic because you don't have to buy new "onacups" to put in it, which we're guessing means you're going to have to wash this when you're done. No word on whether it's dishwasher safe.

Better shot after the jump.

– Jason Chen

Robotech Thruster masturbation machine [Kanjotoys]

"Our client owns the copyright in all the images used in its 'Silhouette' advertising campaign and actively polices its rights in order to protect itself and its consumers.... Certain images used on your website (www.ibuzz.co.uk) may have been copied or substantially copied from those in which our client own the copyright, without our client's consent... Your use of such images amounts to copyright infringement."

Oh, boo hoo, Apple.

The question now is, will Apple ask us to take down the image? Stay tuned! – Nicholas Deleon

Product Page [iBuzz via Tech Digest]