Henan province promises a lockup of "up to five days" for one message, or ten days for 3 messages. If you're going to send three, you might as well do it in a chunk to get the discount rate.

"I'm totally for the rules. It's uncomfortable to get dirty text messages from male friends and even more gross when they are from strangers," Zhang Kai, 26, told the daily.

What's even better is that the normal people are questioning why so much government effort is being spent in this area.

Since July 10, Shenze party officials have held 480 meetings to discuss the harmful effects of obscene messages, a degree of dedication that has been questioned by the public, the People's Daily said.

"It's not necessary to hold 480 meetings on this. This is an enormous waste of administrative resources," an Internet user named Han Haoyue was quoted as saying.

[Google via Mobile Crunch]

From the app's descritption: "A beautiful girl will tease you until you get today's forecast with your sky condition and the temperature you'll feel." Well, alright. She could be a little less conservatively dressed in some of these, but beggars can't be choosers I suppose.

And here I was reading David Lynch's LA forecasts like a sucker. I don't even LIVE in LA. But this does bring up an interesting collaboration possibility: Sexy David Lynch Weather Forecasts? Now we're talking. Pin Up Weather costs $2. [App Store]

So, let's see. No anal sex without prior negotiation. Condoms must be worn, unless the nerd-gin wishes to release his manfat on Tanya's body. No under-18s. Proof that the victimrgin supports net neutrality must be provided (a black tee-shirt with "I Support Net Neutrality" emblazoned on the front won't cut it, sorry.) Finally, Tanya "may deny service for hygiene reasons."

This is not the first time that Ms Devereaux has offered up her orifices for a good cause. Last year she put 40,000 blowjobs on the negotiating table when she ran for a seat in the Belgian senate, as a protest against other politicians' claims that they would create 400,000 jobs. Clearly she thought that sucking on a pencil would get voters putting a XXXX in her box. [Don't Stay Virgin and Skirmisher—thanks Dirk]

It's also surrounded by a plush, red frame that'll be perfect for holding you up against while I do my thing, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. There are also surround sound speakers in there so we can feel surrounded by the audio coming from my virtual fireplace DVD that'll really help us heat things up.

There's a place to chill a bottle of bubbly as well, if you want to run around the corner to the liquor store and pick up a bottle of Andre for us. I'll pay you back, sweetheart, you know I'm good for it. Did I mention that the mattress has a massage unit underneath for after we get all freaky? That's right, we can both get massages at the same time. I smell love coming on, baby. Love. [Product Page via Unplggd]

As soon as we got our MacBook Air, we couldn't help but want to tear it down to its innards. We wanted to see what made up this beautiful machine, so we grabbed our #00 phillips screwdriver and had at it. Want to know what we found? The sexiest and simplest notebook has the sexiest and simplest construction (you'll be surprised at how easy the battery comes out). Not only was this thin thing amazingly easy to disassemble, it was even gorgeous on the inside. Here are the details and, more importantly, pictures.

Aside from the innards being well designed, the disassembly of the MacBook Air was surprisingly easy. Hands-down the easiest Apple notebook we have ever taken apart. There's basically only one step to get inside the machine, just unscrew the bottom casing.

The bottom casing has 10 screws, all #00 Phillips, but there are 3 different screw lengths, so remembering where each screw belongs is crucial. Once all the screws were out, we expected to hassle with Apple's typical tabbed locking system, like the iPod and iBook. But to our surprise there were no tricky tabs to unhook, just lift up the back of the casing and it's off. There were very small metal tabs at the front of the casing, but they were easily and unknowingly undone by just raising the back first and pulling up.

Once the casing was off, we set our sights on the battery. Since the battery takes up almost 3/4 of the inside, it was hard to miss. Nine screws hold the battery in, which are again #00 phillips. Once the battery screws were out, we disconnected the battery cable, which again was surprisingly easy, just using our fingers.

So, getting inside the MacBook Air and taking out the battery was very easy. Easy enough to allow most users to do a battery replacement on their own. We must state that replacing the Macbook Air's battery is far more complicated than say a MacBook or MacBook Pro. But considering that the MacBook Air's battery is actually enclosed in the machine and Apple charges for the replacement service, it is nice to know if needed to, it can be replaced by the user.

Other Thoughts
•The screws that hold the bottom casing, go in at a slight angle. Since the sides of the MacBook Air are curved, the screws have to go in a certain angle to sit level in the holes. This could be a pain when screwing back in, since the little screws have to be at an exact angle.
•On the inside of the bottom casing, there is a convenient two image reassembling instructions.
•Hard drive appears to be easy to replace.
•Ram appears to be soldered on, not so easy to replace.
•The inside construction seems very solid.
•As with all Apple books, taking out screws and opening up the casing voids warranty, so we would imagine the same goes for the Macbook Air.

Normally, she told us, the slot houses a little plastic arm that prevents the paper from dropping onto the floor. But it's a fragile little piece, so the bods at Samsung decided to remove it just in case any clumsy IFA-goers (ie me) snapped it off. Not that interesting, really because, given the looks, the peephole should hide microscopic laser guns that go "Pew-Pew-Pew-Pew" if they spot a typo. Just a thought.

UPDATE: I've got you some prices for you to get you some printer love. Most of the numbers at IFA are given to us in Euros, but Samsung told us to expect virtually the same price stateside as in Europe. The ML-1630 will cost 229 ($312) and the SCX-4500 349 , or $476.

1. Take a wire clothes hanger. Unbend it (you may need to ask a burly friend to do this—how about that nice male nurse who brings you your special magic pills each evening?) until it is almost straight.

2. Wind some nice soft fabric or ribbon around the wire. You may find the ties on your special white jacket that fastens at the back useful here. Congratulations! The tail is now finished.

3. Attach a camera to the end of it. Perhaps the one in the corner of your special padded bedroom will do—yes, that's right, the one with the small red winking eye that is always telling you, in that secret, blinky language that only you and it understand, that WOMEN ARE THE CEREMONIAL TOBY JUGS THAT SATAN'S HOUSEKEEPER KEEPS ON THE FRENCH DRESSER IN HIS KITCHENETTE AND THEY MUST BE DESTROYED. ALL OF THEM.

4. Hurrah! Now you're ready to use it.

5. Using the other end of the wire, pick the special lock of your special bedroom door. That's right. Down the corridor you go, using it to check round the corners that none of your special burly friends are lying in wait for you.

6. Once out of the special compound, make for the train station. This may be difficult as your special slippers with the ball and chain round them will hamper your movements. Don't worry, slow and steady wins the race every time.

7. Keep your eyes out for a lay-dee/ceremonial toby jug of Satan or whatever you prefer to call them. Once you have located one, say nothing.

8. Hide behind her and, slowly, quietly, put the end of the tail with the camera attached up her skirt. Not too far up, mind you, or nothing will be in focus.

9. Howl like a banshee as you realise there is no way you're going to see the secret, hidden part of Satan's toby jugs, as you left your UMPC behind.

10. When they come for you, do not resist. It is futile—not to mention painful.

11. When the nice burly man has returned you to your room, and given you your special pills, you can start making the tail cam All. Over. Again. [Angel Kitty via Shiny Shiny]

This miniskirt has some shorts underneath with a pocket specially designed for your iPod, phone, or whatever else you want in there. It's got a headphone cable hole, allowing you to listen to tunes while you flash those sexy gams of yours. The company that makes it, Vickerey, also has a whole line of iPod-designed women's clothing, from Capri pants to tank tops, but this is the only one I could really picture Jason in. Also, Jason Chen wears clothes meant for ladies. –Adam Frucci

Product Page [via Crave]

For about $9, you can get your own bra or panties to attach to your cellphone. It's just a gimmick, and it's tiny, so it's probably the only lingerie your wife will permit you to have that doesn't belong to her. Unless, of course, you've been fucking a midget on the side. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Strapya via Tokyo Mango]

In the first, "Setty Smooth" manages to get four pretty hot ladies to dance around and pose for his video. You may want to turn down the volume if you're at work. Actually, you'd probably want to turn down the volume if you're at home as well.

5 Sexiest Apple Videos [10 Zen Monkeys via Dethroner]

The line of underwear is created by French designer Sophie Young and her company she calls g=9.8, a nod to physicists who know that g=9.81m/s2 is the equation for gravitational acceleration. An added bonus is that you can buy these unmentionables guilt-free because they're made of wood, making them biodegradable. And now that we've seen this buxom and randy-looking model, we're now feeling some kind of gravitational acceleration, and are made out of wood, too. – Charlie White

g=9.8: Sexy Lingerie from Tree Pruning Scraps [treehugger]