So, let's see. No anal sex without prior negotiation. Condoms must be worn, unless the nerd-gin wishes to release his manfat on Tanya's body. No under-18s. Proof that the victimrgin supports net neutrality must be provided (a black tee-shirt with "I Support Net Neutrality" emblazoned on the front won't cut it, sorry.) Finally, Tanya "may deny service for hygiene reasons."

This is not the first time that Ms Devereaux has offered up her orifices for a good cause. Last year she put 40,000 blowjobs on the negotiating table when she ran for a seat in the Belgian senate, as a protest against other politicians' claims that they would create 400,000 jobs. Clearly she thought that sucking on a pencil would get voters putting a XXXX in her box. [Don't Stay Virgin and Skirmisher—thanks Dirk]

It's also surrounded by a plush, red frame that'll be perfect for holding you up against while I do my thing, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. There are also surround sound speakers in there so we can feel surrounded by the audio coming from my virtual fireplace DVD that'll really help us heat things up.

There's a place to chill a bottle of bubbly as well, if you want to run around the corner to the liquor store and pick up a bottle of Andre for us. I'll pay you back, sweetheart, you know I'm good for it. Did I mention that the mattress has a massage unit underneath for after we get all freaky? That's right, we can both get massages at the same time. I smell love coming on, baby. Love. [Product Page via Unplggd]

As soon as we got our MacBook Air, we couldn't help but want to tear it down to its innards. We wanted to see what made up this beautiful machine, so we grabbed our #00 phillips screwdriver and had at it. Want to know what we found? The sexiest and simplest notebook has the sexiest and simplest construction (you'll be surprised at how easy the battery comes out). Not only was this thin thing amazingly easy to disassemble, it was even gorgeous on the inside. Here are the details and, more importantly, pictures.

Aside from the innards being well designed, the disassembly of the MacBook Air was surprisingly easy. Hands-down the easiest Apple notebook we have ever taken apart. There's basically only one step to get inside the machine, just unscrew the bottom casing.

The bottom casing has 10 screws, all #00 Phillips, but there are 3 different screw lengths, so remembering where each screw belongs is crucial. Once all the screws were out, we expected to hassle with Apple's typical tabbed locking system, like the iPod and iBook. But to our surprise there were no tricky tabs to unhook, just lift up the back of the casing and it's off. There were very small metal tabs at the front of the casing, but they were easily and unknowingly undone by just raising the back first and pulling up.

Once the casing was off, we set our sights on the battery. Since the battery takes up almost 3/4 of the inside, it was hard to miss. Nine screws hold the battery in, which are again #00 phillips. Once the battery screws were out, we disconnected the battery cable, which again was surprisingly easy, just using our fingers.

So, getting inside the MacBook Air and taking out the battery was very easy. Easy enough to allow most users to do a battery replacement on their own. We must state that replacing the Macbook Air's battery is far more complicated than say a MacBook or MacBook Pro. But considering that the MacBook Air's battery is actually enclosed in the machine and Apple charges for the replacement service, it is nice to know if needed to, it can be replaced by the user.

Other Thoughts
•The screws that hold the bottom casing, go in at a slight angle. Since the sides of the MacBook Air are curved, the screws have to go in a certain angle to sit level in the holes. This could be a pain when screwing back in, since the little screws have to be at an exact angle.
•On the inside of the bottom casing, there is a convenient two image reassembling instructions.
•Hard drive appears to be easy to replace.
•Ram appears to be soldered on, not so easy to replace.
•The inside construction seems very solid.
•As with all Apple books, taking out screws and opening up the casing voids warranty, so we would imagine the same goes for the Macbook Air.

1. You get a really big picture. You get the most bang for your buck with a projector. To get the largest practical LCD display with a 65-inch screen, it'll cost you at least $7,000. On the other hand, a projector can blast out a 120-inch pic for a mere $3K. Sure, you'll need to buy a screen, but you could probably just get away with painting some $200 Screen Goo on your wall (we've used it, and it works great but is crazy-expensive compared with regular old paint), or cheaper yet, paint your wall a light gray and you'd still probably be satisfied with the picture quality.

2. It feels just like a movie theater. There's just something about a projected image in a darkened room that elicits mystery, focuses your attention, and makes it feel like you've dedicated yourself to the content on the screen. There's nothing incidental about watching a movie in a darkened room on a projector. And even with a middle-of-the-road projector and average sound system, the end result when you watch a Blu-ray or HD DVD movie looks better than the old-timey analog projector at your local multiplex after that piece of film has gone through it a thousand times. Which leads to our next point...

3. Go for Blu-ray or HD DVD for your home theater. Might we recommend a dual-format player, such as the Samsung or LG models we've told you about here on the Giz? The resolution on these HD discs is truly 1080p, and if you're going to invest in that kind of resolution, you might as well have a playback source that can crank it out.

4. Don't forget the audio. You might already have a Dolby 5.1 system, but if you don't, now's the time to indulge. You can get a home theater in a box (HTIB) system for very little money, but don't spend less than $500 unless you're nearly deaf. Lots of the receivers now have HDMI inputs and switchers, letting you control all your components from there.

5. Prices are getting astonishingly low, even for 1080p projectors. Our favorite so far is the Epson PowerLite Home Cinema 1080, and coming in a close second is the Panasonic 1080p projector, both of which cost $3000. And, the next-gen version of both these models will roll out soon, costing even less than that, and have blacker blacks and better color. Beware of cheap projectors, though, such as the Torpedo that costs $179. We haven't tried that one yet (stay tuned for that), but the $500 BoxTV projector we did review was one of the worst, noisiest and clunkiest contraptions we've ever tested.

6. There is a downside to having a projector. It works best in a dedicated room with no windows. Sure, you could just watch movies at night, or install blackout curtains on your windows, but the best idea is to use a windowless basement room, install your speaker and projector cables before you put in the drywall, mount your projector to the ceiling and you're good to go.

7. If you like to use a TV as background noise, maybe a projector isn't for you. We know a guy whose home theater is an homage to the multi-use room, that is, he placed an LCD display on the wall for daytime CNN watching and casual use, and has a projector mounted on the ceiling with a screen that lowers itself automagically when he wants to settle in for some serious movie watching.

8. Perhaps make plans for your theater now, but delay them for a bit. While the writers' strike isn't going to go on forever, it might last a while, meaning there will be fewer TV shows to watch. But then, there's always Blu-ray and HD DVD and, ahem, BitTorrent.

9. Get a set of theater chairs for the full effect. Three or four years ago, it was hard to find even a single reclining theater chair with cup holders that cost less than $1500. Now you can get a set of three in an arced arrangement for around that same price. They're basically three recliners lashed together, and they'll let you watch a movie in blissful comfort.

10. 1080p is not always necessary. But when you're dealing with a projector, the screen size can get so gigantic that this choice could be crucial. For instance, the difference between 1080p and 720p becomes apparent at 16 feet when you're talking about a 123-inch screen. In fact, the THX recommended maximum viewing distance for that 123-incher is 13.7 feet. If your screen is going to be smaller than that, say, 60 inches viewed from 10 feet away, you may not be able to tell the difference between 1080p and 720p. See this handy chart by Carlton Bale to determine the specifics for your viewing distance and screen size.

Normally, she told us, the slot houses a little plastic arm that prevents the paper from dropping onto the floor. But it's a fragile little piece, so the bods at Samsung decided to remove it just in case any clumsy IFA-goers (ie me) snapped it off. Not that interesting, really because, given the looks, the peephole should hide microscopic laser guns that go "Pew-Pew-Pew-Pew" if they spot a typo. Just a thought.

UPDATE: I've got you some prices for you to get you some printer love. Most of the numbers at IFA are given to us in Euros, but Samsung told us to expect virtually the same price stateside as in Europe. The ML-1630 will cost 229 ($312) and the SCX-4500 349 , or $476.

Runs on Windows Mobile 6.0
12.8 mm thich
2.8-inch touch screen display
Full browsing capability
HSDPA-supporting
3.6Mbps download speed
Push email service
2 megapixel camera
MP3 playback
Bluetooth 2.0
Cursive script recognition
Video call

Looking forward to it, LG. [Aving]

In addition to that 802.11n draft 2.0, it's backward-compatible with an alphabet soup of Wi-Fi protocols including 802.11g, 802.11b, although it won't do A because it lacks 5GHz band support. And if all that wireless folderol doesn't suit your fancy, there are four gigabit Ethernet ports, too.

But just look at this thing! Its display has readouts for time and date, downloads, up/downloads, and also shows the client names of each computer with each one's download speed listed alongside. There's also a mode for viewing each client's usage over the last 24 hours. There's also a toggle for Guest mode.

One slight lameness: It ships without any passwords enabled, not even a default password for the doofuses. Could trip up a noob here or there. Oh, and switching settings on the router often requires a one-minute reboot. Kind of annoying. While it can work in DHCP mode, it can also function as a mere access point.

That said, its out-of-box experience is exemplary, and the setup is easy. Best of all, it's the goddamn best-looking router we've ever seen, making that Apple Airport Extreme look downright dumpy. To be fair, the Airport Extreme has that nice 5GHz N mode, but its looks can't hold a candle to this one's beauty and helpful functionality. [Belkin]

The Bionic Woman series premiere is September 26, 9pm/8 Central on NBC. [NBC]

Charge the lithium polymer battery up via USB and it'll give you 15 hours of playback. An LED display shows you how much juice you've got left, and there's 700mWx2ch output with signal-to-noise ratio of 80dB. Weighing 85 grams and with a carabiner clip to attach it to wherever you want, the $69 Travelsound i50 is currently only available in Japan. [New Launches]

Just 12.9 mm-thick, the SCH-W300 has a 2 megapixel camera, Bluetooth and transportation card function. Available in Magic Silver and Black Pearl to start with, and Violet and Sapphire Blue to follow, the UFO phone will be available firstly in Korea, with a suggested price of below $630. I should hope so too! [Aving via Unwired View]

Thirty watts output is possible and the unit has on lead controls. The speaker has a standard stereo plug so you can connect up to most audio sources. At $100 the price is enticing, as if banging out your music in your bedroom was not incentive enough, these are available in three colours; black, pink and white, so you can match them up with anything of a similar colour! If that does not seem reason enough, we are guessing from our research that it can also be used as a sex toy too! Still we imagine when in use these will raise important questions, including:

Is that music coming from your vagina? Why does it sound fuzzy? Why does it smell funny? This song makes you feel good, eh? Why do you have such funny tasting taste in music? So many questions, such little time. [Random Good Stuff Shop]

The GZ-HD3 won't be using the HD7's pixel-shifted full 1920x1080i resolution, instead laying down its MPEG2 footage at 1440x1080 using its three CCDs. Not to worry, that should still offer up some fine-looking HD footage. We're also hearing that this latest camcorder will be able to record its video on those high-capacity SDHC flash memory cards, giving the camcorder even more storage space.

We're happiest to see this latest Everio has a similar widescreen viewfinder to its big brother's, which we liked a lot, and carries on that easy, ergonomic form factor (albeit a lot smaller) that made the HD7 a standout. Also, that $1200 price may be an educated guess by overzealous journalists, and if that's indeed close to the camera's final retail price, might we overzealously add that it could end up being a formidable sub-$1000 competitor after a few months on the market? JVC didn't announce any official ship date just yet. [Digital Camcorder News]

1. Take a wire clothes hanger. Unbend it (you may need to ask a burly friend to do this—how about that nice male nurse who brings you your special magic pills each evening?) until it is almost straight.

2. Wind some nice soft fabric or ribbon around the wire. You may find the ties on your special white jacket that fastens at the back useful here. Congratulations! The tail is now finished.

3. Attach a camera to the end of it. Perhaps the one in the corner of your special padded bedroom will do—yes, that's right, the one with the small red winking eye that is always telling you, in that secret, blinky language that only you and it understand, that WOMEN ARE THE CEREMONIAL TOBY JUGS THAT SATAN'S HOUSEKEEPER KEEPS ON THE FRENCH DRESSER IN HIS KITCHENETTE AND THEY MUST BE DESTROYED. ALL OF THEM.

4. Hurrah! Now you're ready to use it.

5. Using the other end of the wire, pick the special lock of your special bedroom door. That's right. Down the corridor you go, using it to check round the corners that none of your special burly friends are lying in wait for you.

6. Once out of the special compound, make for the train station. This may be difficult as your special slippers with the ball and chain round them will hamper your movements. Don't worry, slow and steady wins the race every time.

7. Keep your eyes out for a lay-dee/ceremonial toby jug of Satan or whatever you prefer to call them. Once you have located one, say nothing.

8. Hide behind her and, slowly, quietly, put the end of the tail with the camera attached up her skirt. Not too far up, mind you, or nothing will be in focus.

9. Howl like a banshee as you realise there is no way you're going to see the secret, hidden part of Satan's toby jugs, as you left your UMPC behind.

10. When they come for you, do not resist. It is futile—not to mention painful.

11. When the nice burly man has returned you to your room, and given you your special pills, you can start making the tail cam All. Over. Again. [Angel Kitty via Shiny Shiny]

This miniskirt has some shorts underneath with a pocket specially designed for your iPod, phone, or whatever else you want in there. It's got a headphone cable hole, allowing you to listen to tunes while you flash those sexy gams of yours. The company that makes it, Vickerey, also has a whole line of iPod-designed women's clothing, from Capri pants to tank tops, but this is the only one I could really picture Jason in. Also, Jason Chen wears clothes meant for ladies. –Adam Frucci

Product Page [via Crave]

Japan to the rescue! Thin paste-on facial hair for the beardically-challenged, available from $15 to $28. You'll be mayor of Ladytown in no time, I'm sure. With a winning personality like that, how can you lose? –Adam Frucci

Product Page [via Digital World Tokyo]

Product Page

For about $9, you can get your own bra or panties to attach to your cellphone. It's just a gimmick, and it's tiny, so it's probably the only lingerie your wife will permit you to have that doesn't belong to her. Unless, of course, you've been fucking a midget on the side. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Strapya via Tokyo Mango]

Product Page [via UMPC Portal]

Check out the gallery for more shots of these pretty lamps. – Jason Chen

Project Page [Corona Solar Light via Sci Fi]

On behalf of the Zune team at Microsoft, I'd like to issue an apology to the residents of Ludlow Street (between Stanton and Houston) for the loud noise at 3:00 AM last Sunday (24 Feb). For what it's worth, this was not a planned or Zune-sanctioned PR event, a stunt, or any intentional marketing activity. And we've taken steps to make sure this won't happen again. To those folks woken up by the sounds of the vehicle, we apologize.

Apology accepted (I don't live in NY). – Jason Chen

Sorry, New York [Zune Insider]

Image that doesn't really make sense stolen from Wonkette.

In the first, "Setty Smooth" manages to get four pretty hot ladies to dance around and pose for his video. You may want to turn down the volume if you're at work. Actually, you'd probably want to turn down the volume if you're at home as well.

5 Sexiest Apple Videos [10 Zen Monkeys via Dethroner]

The line of underwear is created by French designer Sophie Young and her company she calls g=9.8, a nod to physicists who know that g=9.81m/s2 is the equation for gravitational acceleration. An added bonus is that you can buy these unmentionables guilt-free because they're made of wood, making them biodegradable. And now that we've seen this buxom and randy-looking model, we're now feeling some kind of gravitational acceleration, and are made out of wood, too. – Charlie White

g=9.8: Sexy Lingerie from Tree Pruning Scraps [treehugger]