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Sharper Image to "Relaunch" at CES 2009

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DeadWriter
12/12/08

In reply to Sharper Image to "Relaunch" at CES 2009
Relaunch like a Coke bottle stuffed with Mentos.
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Kaiser-Machead
12/12/08

@DeadWriter: Just a tip for you Mentos-ers out there. Use mint and only mint, as they don't have the candy coating that prevents the diet soda from exploding!
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EBone
12/12/08

In reply to Sharper Image to "Relaunch" at CES 2009
But will they still sell crap nobody wants for too high a price? Cuz I think that's what got them into trouble in the first place. That, and the ionic hair dryers - Yes, this hair dryer can change the covalent bonding properties of molecules!
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zimmi88
12/12/08

@EBone: Meh, I think it's less an issue of "people don't want this" and more of an issue of "people are broke... welcome to the recession." If you look at the US economy in good times, people will buy useless junk to show off as some sort of status symbol. Not that all the stuff they sold was completely useless... they had clever ideas every now and then, like that key paging machine. Besides, who wouldn't want a massage chair? =P
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efenili
12/12/08

In reply to Sharper Image to "Relaunch" at CES 2009
Does this mean they are going to open up stores again with massage chairs that I can go use during my lunch breaks???
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Kaiser-Machead
12/12/08

@efenili: They're even better to use during the summer. If you want to smell like you've been at the gym, without all the trudging about at the actual gym, just give it a whirl. You'll arise with a potent musk.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
12/12/08

@Kaiser-Machead: Isn't it just easier to wear some Black Panther instead? It's made from real panther, so you know it's good. Unlike those massage chairs made from fake cow.
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OMG! DEITY!
12/12/08

In reply to Sharper Image to "Relaunch" at CES 2009
I don't want to sound two dumb, but who are Sharper Image?
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Kaiser-Machead
12/12/08

@Derry Quinn: They sell innovative products like the hand-crankable rechargeable Hummer TV/radio with the built-in flashlight with the iPod dock, the massage chair that repels poverty, and my personal favorite, the super spy binoculars with the red lenses that can spot the mites on a sparrow's feather using patented Leprechaun retina grafting.
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Kaiser-Machead
12/12/08

In reply to Sharper Image to "Relaunch" at CES 2009
This is sort of like how Isildur took the Narsil and cut off the ring from Sauron's hand, and then he vaporized, but didn't die and was like, trapped in a giant candle and junk.

Stupid Sharper Image. Why won't you die?
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Effing_Jedi_Master
12/12/08

@Kaiser-Machead:

Great analogy. Now, we just need to find the "ring" that controls Sharper Image, and throw it into a volcano.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
12/12/08

@Effing_Jedi_Master: Actually, I was going to do that with my wedding band after my divorce, only some evil minion heard its calling, broke into my house, and stole it... Along with just about everything else I owned to cover their tracks. They even at the food in my fridge man.
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