Here are a few choice moments to satisfy your need to watch big stuff like pianos, bowling balls, refrigerators and office gadgets get chewed up in the mouth of a giant metal beast from hell:

[SSI and Digg]

This is not even the first USB shredder we've seen, one even has a mini-bin underneath to catch all of those torn-up pieces of paper. But this one's even more portable; at just under 10 inches wide, it's similar in shape to some of the highly portable printers we've seen, but too bad it's still not wide enough to handle standard sheets of paper.

Are you paranoid enough to carry around a shredder with you everywhere you go? Shredders, printers, all that paper-handling paraphernalia—if you're that paranoid, maintain a shred of dignity by going paperless, not ever typing or writing anything, don't even think about using a computer, and do all your talking down in the basement. – Charlie White

Product Page [Kinlan Industrial, via ubergizmo]

New Software Restores Shredded Documents [The Raw Feed]

The young ladies are going to love this shredder pen that fits perfectly into Girl Tech's Password Journal. There are so many secrets for the young fillies, and here's a way to write them down and then shred them right up, Nixon-style. It's downright therapeutic.

There's also an FM radio inside with an attached earphone, so the snide little girls/women/bitches-in-training can completely tune you out, you, like, non-listening, like, non-understanding parent, you know? – Charlie White

Product page [Girl Tech, via Shiny Shiny]