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New York, 5:17 AM
Mon Nov 30
14 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #sophos more →

    Klingon Anti-Virus Software Detects Romulan Activity

    This is How You Explain Malware To Your Grandparents
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    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    05/22/09

    In reply to Klingon Anti-Virus Software Detects Romulan Activity
    Yes, but will it protect me from Kingons attempting to steal my Star Trek commemorative glasses?
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/22/09

    In reply to Klingon Anti-Virus Software Detects Romulan Activity
    Using a Star Wars crawl to promote a Star Trek tie-in =nerdFAIL
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    05/21/09

    In reply to Klingon Anti-Virus Software Detects Romulan Activity
    Today IS a good day to defrag!


    I require a Klingon computer to run. Human computers are too.....fragile.

     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of i heart bacon hub i heart bacon hub
    05/21/09

    In reply to Klingon Anti-Virus Software Detects Romulan Activity
    Here's a hypothetical conversation:


    NaHQun: "Hey, Phil, what's up? I haven't seen you around lately. Busy at work?"


    Phil: "No, I actually just got laid off last week. Really struggling to pay the bills, but hey NaHQun, how about you?"


    NaHQun: "Not to gloat, but I just got this sweet gig translating all the text in this anti-virus program to Klingon! You won't even believe what they're paying me!!"


    Phil grabs at the nearest blunt object and without delay strikes NaHQun squarely in the forehead. While NaHQun lays on the sidewalk, blood dripping from his head, legs and arms twitching, Phil steals NaHQun's wallet and runs off.


    And Scene!


    Improv is fun.

     Reply
    i heart bacon hub was starred i heart bacon hub was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/21/09

    @iheartpornhub hearts bacon!: Bravo, bravo! May I then improv one additional line for you?


    Picking up where:

    ...Phil steals NaHQun's wallet and runs off.


    Add:

    From his concrete deathbed, NaHQun looks skyward and, with his dying breath, bellows haltingly, "Today is a good day to die!"


    I mean, no true Klingon would miss such an obvious opportunity for cheesy melodrama.

     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of lucky_you lucky_you
    05/21/09

    In reply to Klingon Anti-Virus Software Detects Romulan Activity
    A lot of time on your hands Sophos?
     Reply
    lucky_you was starred lucky_you was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/21/09

    @lucky_you: Well, why not? There's only one other thing this guy's hands ever would have been doing anyway. His right hand, that is.
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/21/09

    In reply to Klingon Anti-Virus Software Detects Romulan Activity
    I had assumed that this level of hardcore old Trek fan fanaticism had all but run its course. This renewed activity gives me hope, and not just for TOS-era geekiness, but for geekiness in all its wonderful, propeller-beanie varieties. I mean, could it be--dare I even say it?--thaat my much-beloved steampunk can survive?
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of i heart bacon hub i heart bacon hub
    05/21/09

    @bosskev: Nope.
     Reply
    i heart bacon hub was starred i heart bacon hub was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/21/09

    @iheartpornhub hearts bacon!: Fine, crush my hopes. You might just as well have said, "from hell's heart, I stab at thee".
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of jonhapimp jonhapimp
    05/21/09

    In reply to Klingon Anti-Virus Software Detects Romulan Activity
    Why?
     Reply
    jonhapimp was starred jonhapimp was unstarred
    Image of badhatharry badhatharry
    05/21/09

    @jonhapimp: Because there are millions of virgins out there.
     Reply
    badhatharry was starred badhatharry was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    12/24/08

    In reply to This is How You Explain Malware To Your Grandparents
    What desktop uses an ARM processor?
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of cgsofly cgsofly
    12/24/08

    In reply to This is How You Explain Malware To Your Grandparents
    Now imagine a porn virus.
     Reply
    cgsofly was starred cgsofly was unstarred
    Image of BeautifulAgony BeautifulAgony
    12/24/08

    @cgsofly: Take this line of thought to Fleshbot... and TorGTFO lol


    j/k, I was thinking the same thing actually ;)

     Reply
    BeautifulAgony was starred BeautifulAgony was unstarred
    Image of frigg frigg
    12/23/08

    In reply to This is How You Explain Malware To Your Grandparents
    If there were malware that caused a bunch of arms to grow out of your monitor, that'd be some pretty cool malware.
     Reply
    frigg was starred frigg was unstarred
    Image of badhatharry badhatharry
    12/23/08

    In reply to This is How You Explain Malware To Your Grandparents
    First I would have to explain to them what a computer is, without them thinking it is some sort of sorcery and wanting to burn it.
     Reply
    badhatharry was starred badhatharry was unstarred
    Image of hanswurst0815 hanswurst0815
    12/23/08

    In reply to This is How You Explain Malware To Your Grandparents
    Somehow I thought inverted GOATSE when I saw the picture.
     Reply
    hanswurst0815 was starred hanswurst0815 was unstarred
    Image of ripfire ripfire
    12/24/08

    @hanswurst0815: A view of Goatse from the inside.
     Reply
    ripfire was starred ripfire was unstarred
    Image of Gelato Makes You Jiggle Gelato Makes You Jiggle
    12/23/08

    In reply to This is How You Explain Malware To Your Grandparents
    But I thought Macs were impervious to everything bad in the internet ;-)
     Reply
    Gelato Makes You Jiggle was starred Gelato Makes You Jiggle was unstarred
    Image of godwhacker, your incandescent leader! godwhacker, your incandescent leader!
    12/23/08

    @YoSoyRuben: security thru obscurity
     Reply
    godwhacker, your incandescent leader! was starred godwhacker, your incandescent leader! was unstarred
    Image of pastrychef pastrychef
    12/24/08

    @godwhacker:


    Poor excuse. OS X just isn't the swiss cheese of an OS that Windows is.

     Reply
    pastrychef was starred pastrychef was unstarred
    Image of Mr.SithNinja Mr.SithNinja
    12/24/08

    @pastrychef: If Windows is swiss cheese because of its holes, then I guess that would make OS X one of those stinky cheeses that very few people would actualy go near.
     Reply
    Mr.SithNinja was starred Mr.SithNinja was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    12/24/08

    @Mr.SithNinja: Camembert is awesome.
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of cjgentile cjgentile
    12/23/08

    In reply to This is How You Explain Malware To Your Grandparents
    What I find funny is that its a Mac.
     Reply
    cjgentile was starred cjgentile was unstarred
    Image of Philip Marquis Philip Marquis
    12/23/08

    @cjgentile:

    why is that? MACs are just as susseptable to virises as windows is...it just somone takeing the time to make them..


    hell the fake youtube born codec crap has a mac version LOL


    and dont git me started on nix...opensorce makes it so much easyer to write a viris or find a back door to run an maslishios prosses or script..


    so save it fan boy

     Reply
    Philip Marquis was starred Philip Marquis was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    12/23/08

    @Philip Marquis: Here we go again... get informed and only then express your knowledge.
     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
    Image of njso18 njso18
    12/23/08

    @Philip Marquis: you my friend would not be capable of writing any virus code. it requires correct spelling, I would imagine.
     Reply
    njso18 was starred njso18 was unstarred
    Image of Philip Marquis Philip Marquis
    12/24/08

    @njso18:

    now when did i say anything about knowing how to code?

    o thats right i dident... so bite me


    @sos10:

    show how much you know god i hate fan boys ...


    you know that vulrabilaty chart list thats put out every year?


    well guss what...windows may have more vulrabiltys by sheer number..the vunrabilatys foud rank a 3 or less


    while nix and mac while yes have fewer vunrabiltys

    thair vulrabilatys are bigger ranking 5 or more...


    pluss given the fact that nix is open sorce

    it is much much easyer to write malishios scripts or prosses for


    so kidly take your stupid to a mac forum or nix forum

     Reply
    Philip Marquis was starred Philip Marquis was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    12/24/08

    @Philip Marquis: but there aren't any, that is the point. The rest are just excuses to show that you are a fanboi of yourself.
     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
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