This will get "accidently" left in womens changing or locker rooms, and then retreived from the club "Lost and Found" 31 hours later by a very happy and excited guy who better have a good story about how it got there in the first place.
@Nick, @The Swiftman: OMG, wtf are you two saying? I LOVE Paula Poundstone! One of her taped comedy specials is one of the most perfect hours of comedy I've ever experienced. I have watched parts of that near-genius performance over and over and, even though I know the punchlines that are coming, I still laugh giddily.
@BlueLabCoatWanting_GitEmSteveDave: I'm surprised I get anything done at all. I'm commenting left and right, and all of a sudden I realize I've been inadvertently doing my work in between and I'm like "holy crap, I'm finished?" Thanks Gizmodo, you help to streamline my workday.
@Kaiser-Machead: You know you are spending too much time on Giz when your body starts developing an instinctive 20 minute timer to check for the next article.
@BlueLabCoatWanting_GitEmSteveDave: I would try those other Gawker sites but I'd be afraid my writing would get redundant/confused from not be able to tell the sites apart.
Or simply leave your tie dangling from a hanger to catch Marie and John having sex on your swivel chair, because you found mysterious residue around your work station the previous morning.
Just to make sure everyone remembers the last big black out where we, the citizens of Northern Ohio and our masters at First Energy Corp, blacked out a large chunk of the NE US and Canada, including NYC, a few years ago. We arent spies, but we did it with our air conditioners, so it cant be that hard, since First Energy cant even automate its invoicing and accounts receivable.
@Curves: IIRC, a single branch fell on a line, which caused the black out. Luckily, in NJ, where we separate ourselves from the infectious NYers, we still had glorious nuclear power giving us light.
Maybe the software is just quietly raising everyone's bills, bleeding the country payment cycle by payment cycle in high tech economic warfare. Because as an Amish person (Mennonite, actually), I know I don't use a lot of electricity. And yet sometimes my bills seem disproportionately high. I've always suspected foul play.
Great... I hope they already didn't infiltrate California. That way, we could declare independence and just leave the rest of America to the rest of its problems!
@MudkipDSi: From ASCII to αlpha αrt! [お母さん???]: California can barely run itself as a state.. why people think it could run itself as a country successfully is beyond me. Besides, the 9th circuit court and the emissions standards actually help the US.
"California can barely run itself as a state.. why people think it could run itself as a country successfully is beyond me."
look at the numbers:
States Receiving Most in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:
1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)
States Receiving Least in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:
1. New Jersey ($0.62)
2. Connecticut ($0.64)
3. New Hampshire ($0.68)
4. Nevada ($0.73)
5. Illinois ($0.77)
6. Minnesota ($0.77)
7. Colorado ($0.79)
8. Massachusetts ($0.79)
9. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)
the most recent estimates put California, if it were its own nation, as the 10th largest economy in the world. the rest of the union is bleeding us dry, we get only 81 cents to the dollar of our federal tax money back but we had the 6th highest tax burden last year. trust me, the rest of you assholes would be hurting pretty bad if cali decided to say 'piss off'.
"California is the world's fifth largest supplier of food and agriculture commodities..."
and yet:
"Agriculture accounts for just slightly over 2% of California's $1.55 trillion gross state product."
06/04/09
And my slanket fort crushes your puny blanket fort!
06/04/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/14/09
04/08/09
"Ha ha ha ha, nothing will happnen to us...*click*"
sir...out power is down
DAMN!
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
Ben Jabituya is totally pissed
04/08/09
"Scary Spice Has Totally Infilitrated Our Electricity Grid"
That is scary
04/08/09
04/08/09
Fear is the mind killer
04/08/09
j/k :P
04/08/09
04/08/09
"California can barely run itself as a state.. why people think it could run itself as a country successfully is beyond me."
look at the numbers:
States Receiving Most in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:
1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)
States Receiving Least in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:
1. New Jersey ($0.62)
2. Connecticut ($0.64)
3. New Hampshire ($0.68)
4. Nevada ($0.73)
5. Illinois ($0.77)
6. Minnesota ($0.77)
7. Colorado ($0.79)
8. Massachusetts ($0.79)
9. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)
the most recent estimates put California, if it were its own nation, as the 10th largest economy in the world. the rest of the union is bleeding us dry, we get only 81 cents to the dollar of our federal tax money back but we had the 6th highest tax burden last year. trust me, the rest of you assholes would be hurting pretty bad if cali decided to say 'piss off'.
"California is the world's fifth largest supplier of food and agriculture commodities..."
and yet:
"Agriculture accounts for just slightly over 2% of California's $1.55 trillion gross state product."