What global means exactly is uncertain, as there's no mention of the US anywhere. But if given the opportunity to combine this beast with the Matsuhashi B-400, you better believe I won't hesitate to do so. Also, you're only allowed to hang out in my blanket fort if you have a Watchphone too. [Akihabara News]

For instance, you could pretend that you needed this $128 tie for important reconnaissance work, using its one button controls to grab footage of Joe using the copier, or Marie pouring another cup of coffee. Later, when downloading 30 hours of 352x288 .avi footage to an XP or Vista machine, scrupulous review could reveal that Joe had actually planted a miniature explosive while duplicating those expense reports, set to blow the next time someone made a double-sided copy. And there's Marie, making her way over to the machine now! That earth-loving hippie will surely make a double sided print. Run like the wind, my dull office companion! Run! [Thanko via DVICE]

A senior intelligence official told the Journal that "The Chinese have attempted to map our infrastructure, such as the electrical grid," along with the Russians. What's scary is that it's not just a few isolated points, but it's happening all across the whole country. Oh, and that the utility companies actually running the grid had absolutely no idea.

The reason US intelligence—who detected the intrusions and informed the utility companies—suspects the Commies is because the attacks are so sophisticated. They left behind backdoor software designed to muck up the works that "f we go to war with them, they will try to turn them on." And if you've seen Live Free or Die Hard, you know what happens when hackers go after our infrastructure. People die, Justin Long cries and cars run into helicopters. It's absolute chaos. I pray to god when that day comes, Bruce Willis is not sipping cocktails on a beach earning 20 percent Alan Rickman. [WSJ]

According to prosecutors, Nathan's father taught him the ways of spydom from jail over his cellphone UPDATE: from his cell (duh), coaching Nathan through meetings with Russian agents in Mexico, Peru and Cyprus. And then, there was the issue of how to handle the money.

...Nathan Nicholson, a former Army paratrooper, had returned from his visits with the Russians with at least $35,000 in cash, some of it in a PlayStation video game case. The money was intended in part to settle a “pension” that Harold Nicholson said was owed him from his days as a C.I.A. spy for the Russians before his arrest in 1996, the prosecutors said.

[NYTimes Thanks ibelli!]

We should note that the Pentagon admonition is only the first time the agency has publicly commented on satellite-on-satellite spying. It's probably been done, and done a lot, for a while now.

The satellites in question for this story, called MiTEx micro-satellites, are the direct result of work done at the DARPA project, whose internet-, gadget- and weapon-creating ways need no introduction here.

And they weren't checking out foreign satellites, at least not yet. In this case, two MiTEx micro-satellites were evaluating the failed U.S. 5,000lb. DSP 23 missile tracking satellite, which had launched successfully in November 2007, but failed soon after reaching a geostationary orbit. Its orbit has slowly degraded since then, endangering other geostationary satellites that share the space.

The controversy arrives when you start thinking about what's happening up there, right now. If a satellite can maneuver to within striking distance of another satellite, and can dance around it without crashing, what's stopping it from actually striking it some day?

Nothing really, which is why the UN is raising a stink. "I am positive other nations, particularly China, will find this development suspicious," said Theresa Hitchens, the incoming director of the UN Institute for Disarmament Research in Geneva. "And the US behavior regarding the program is hypocritical, given that Washington is always chastising Beijing for its lack of transparency regarding its space programs and intentions."

Regardless, the fact remains that the U.S. has a class of micro-satellite in orbit today that can spy on, track, maneuver around and eventually destroy other satellites. Just leave the Sirius XM ones alone, ok? I'm sorry, honestly, but I'm one of the few people who actually enjoys having the pricing plans changed on a whim while channels disappear and reappear at random.

UPDATE: We have spoken with Theresa Hitchens regarding an inaccurate quote attributed to her in this post. The quote attributed to her was incorrectly applied, and has been redacted due to its inaccuracy (above). The quote was given to Wired BEFORE she assumed the attributed role at the UN, and did not in any way mean she was speaking for the UN, or even for the UNIDIR, a think tank where Hitchens worked before arriving at the UN. We apologize to Ms. Hitchens for the error. — J.L.

[New Scientist]

Here's the PDF file (eyes only!) you'll need to get started on what actually sounds like a pretty neat little 15-minute project.

Basically, the audio signal from the attached microphone varies the power output of the laser. This, in turn, causes the laser's brightness to fluctuate in a way that follows the shape of the sound wave.

At the other end, where your super spy friend awaits his kill order for those pesky neighborhood revolutionaries, a solar cell (or photo-resistor) helpfully converts the oscillating light signal back into the husky, absurdly fake Scottish accent you've applied to your voice in yet another lame, cliched attempt to mimic Sean Connery. [MAKE]

But as an FBI document reports, Pani wasn't going to a hedge fund. He was actually hired to work at AMD. And he spent the next two weeks with his Intel-networked laptop collecting confidential designs.

Pani worked quickly and managed to assemble 13 different "top secret" company files relating to future Intel chips, spanning 100 pages of information along with 19 CAD images of the architecture. When an Intel employee learned that Pani was really heading to AMD, the company called in the FBI to investigate.

Pani claims that the files were collected to aid his wife in her new position at the Hudson facility. He has since been let go by AMD and AMD has been fully cooperative with authorities. There is no evidence that AMD requested or acquired the designs. [Boston]

There are a few downsides, though. Firstly, the Polonium Pen is extremely fiddly to make. If the wire probe that feeds into the ion chamber touches anything remotely conducive, it won't work. Secondly, the electronics must be shielded by a metallic cover to keep them safe from stray electric fields. And thirdly, the ion chamber is so small that only significant amounts of radiation can be detected. That swings it, then. [TechLib via Hack a Day]