Amazingly enough, 29-year old Aaron Siebers stabbed himself then made up some phony story about being attacked by three skinheads in an attempted robbery. However, surveillance footage of the area where it supposedly happened turned up nothing. In the end, Siebers admitted to stabbing himself so he could get out of going to work at a Colorado Blockbuster. He was rushed to a nearby hospital where doctors stitched up his wound.

I have a hard time understanding why someone would pass over calling in sick and go right to self-mutilation in order to get out of work, but perhaps someone who has worked at Blockbuster in the past can confirm that they too have thought about this strategy. [The Denver Channel via Westworld via Digg]

Fourteen year old Matthew Gorzynski was stabbed in the chest by fifteen year old William Gorzynski, his own brother, after the two argued over "a noisy home computer." Apparently the boys had it out about music volume in the past, but this time ended with second degree murder charges.

As sad as the incident is, I actually contemplated what song could've been so bad that William reached for a kitchen knife. God help me for even wondering that, but after thinking about it: there really must've been something way more behind this incident than just a loudly played song otherwise the world is a worse place than I'd imagined. [Sun Sentinel via Obscure Store]

Apparently, the 18-year old kid flew into a rage a few months ago when his connection dropped during an online game. He decided that the only remedy was to skip all of the traditional troubleshooting techniques and go right to stabbing an innocent girl walking down the street. Fortunately, this completely insane act of random violence did not end as bad as it could have—the girl managed to escape with wounds that are not life threatening. As for her attacker, he is currently spending some downtime at a psychiatric hospital with an attempted manslaughter charge in the works.

Clearly, this is one disturbed individual we are talking about here. I mean, a rational person would have yelled at his modem and smacked it around with tears streaming down his face right? [Metro via SK Gaming via Crunchgear]

Hope as I may, this video is way, way too dumb to be some kind of viral ad for Lenovo. So, guy, here's some of that attention you wanted, I guess! [Macenstein]

It happened in Uckange, France. Apparently, the prosecutor thinks the Power Rangers may be the key to his behavior because in that game there is a part in which you have throw knives, which completely explains why a kid would try to kill her sister to get a Nintendo DS. Suuuure. Let's blame games.

Fortunately, there's also another explanation: The mother—who was sleeping in the house while all this happened—was a victim of domestic violence. Whatever it was, the good news is that the life of the stabbed kid is not at risk.

Update: The forensic office now says it's impossible the 5-year-old did this injuries, so the police is suspecting the mother did it and blamed the kid, the DS, and the games. How nice of her. [Le Post via Kotaku]

According to the Waukesha Police, the fight started over an argument about who's turn it was to play the (unidentified) game. Eventually, the fight escalated when one brother tried to choke the other out. In retaliation, he pulled an knife and slashed at his assailant. The knife was wrestled out of his hands and plunged into his chest. In a panic, the brother who did the stabbin' fled the scene and walked to the hospital—suffering severe frostbite on his hands as a result.

The injuries sustained were not life threatening, but police are recommending that charges be brought up against both brothers. They are also speaking with Santa Claus about the possibility of placing his boot squarely and firmly into their asses. [MSNBC via Kotaku]

Sure, it may be designed for use in the snow, where a normal, rubber-footed cane wouldn't be too stable, we all know what it's really designed for: stabbin'. Simply push the button at the top to push the spike out at the bottom, and prepare to severely punish any mugger who thinks a little old lady is easy pickings. [Amazon via Book of Joe]

The AP reports that this Malaysian man was punched and stabbed because he refused to share the microphone and was hogging the stage. Of all the things to make a stand over, your right to belt out a Pussycat Dolls tune is not one of the ones we recommend. This has been a Giz Tech Tip. [Boston]

Luckily for Mr. Verizon, the building's super dropped by to make sure everything was cool, and managed to avoid being chop sueyed with his ninja super skills as the knife snapped at him like cobra when he opened the door. When arrested, Eric asked the cops "Did anyone get hurt with my knives? I wish they did." Since they didn't, the court thought it was cool to release this dude on bail. I love this country. [Newsday via Gothamist]