Pitched as "the world's most powerful iPod speaker," the Wall of Sound is a $4,500, handcrafted iPod dock with a stocky 3x4-foot frame that weighs in at 225 pounds. As for the sound itself, the 125W system promises a frequency response of 40 Hz – 20 kHz that will provide "graceful mids and crystal clear highs," according to the product's website. It's also purportedly "for people who believe that music should be listened to loudly." [Wall of Sound via geek]

Seriously, what do all of you do that allows you to afford such sick equipment? Pass along some of that cheddar to me, please. In any case, on to the winners:

First Place — Ronnie Koh
Second Place — Byron Yu
Third Place — Eric Lee Klingman

While Bill Gates was becoming a one-man megapower, Steve Jobs was getting lost in a sea of ego and suck, and Nelson Mandela was inspiring people across the globe, I was sitting by my cheap RCA CD/Tape boombox trying to get the hang of long division.

Most my school nights in the fourth grade were spent doing homework by my boombox listening to San Francisco hip-hop radio station KMEL when it was still great. Bay Area hip hop, top 40 hip hop, classic joints, R&B, whatever—they played good music back then. And I recorded it.

Like I mentioned in the tribute to boomboxes, it was all about timing when you made a real mixtape; tape had to be queued to the right place, you had to know just when to hit play (before the lyrics started, after the DJ stopped talking), and you had to pay attention so you could stop recording right as it ended.

My tapes of choice were the Memorex joints with the bright colors and geometric shapes. Classics. What I chose to put on those tapes wasn't always as classic, but the fact that I pulled it together to craft this one mix makes me proud of my younger self.

The best part was when we got to go on school field trips, because I not only got to pop my tape in my walkman to keep me entertained, but my friends had mixes and walkmans of their own. So we'd swap and share during the bus rides to wherever. Those were better days.

Back to my main point— the mix is filled with West Coast hip-hop from the era, but imbued with a splash of east coast and a touch of R&B. This is my handcrafted, childhood masterpiece. I'm sure, due to the faults of time, a couple songs are missing or mentally amalgamated in from other tapes. But the essence is more or less the same. Enjoy. (Photo courtesy of TapeDeck.org)

Dr. Dre and Snoop Doggy Dog - "Ain't Nuthin But a G-Thang":

The "1, 2, 3 and to tha 4" still gets me happy to this day.

Domino - "Ghetto Jam":

I had completely forgotten about this song until I started thinking about the mixtape again. When that happens, you realized it's a song that only could have come out of a given era.

Tevin Campbell - "Can We Talk":

Ok, maybe not as imposing as some other selections on this mix, BUT I WAS 9! And it's still a good song.

Snoop Doggy Dog - "Gin and Juice":

I have memories of sitting in my dad's car listening to this track: me rappin about endo, and gin, and money, my dad looking at me like I was a damn moron.

Dru Down - "Pimp of the Year":

A wise friend once said, "Dru Down sellin' bitches quick dreams here mane!" I concur.

E-40 featuring The Click, D-Shot, B-Legit and Suga T - "Captain Save A Hoe":

Worth it just for the line "Look up in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane! What's dat fool name? CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE MAAAANE!"

Masta Ace - "Born To Roll":

I still don't know how Masta Ace was pulling west coast airplay back then, but I'm happy he was. I still find my self singing the chorus without even knowing it's from this song.

Aaliyah - "Back and Forth":

This song really deserved a spot on any 94-era mixtape.

Warren G and Nate Dogg - "Regulate":

Don't care what anyone says. This was THE song of 1994.

Rappin 4 Tay - "Players Club":

A mid-90s Bay Area gem.

Soul 4 Real - "Candy Rain":

This was the last track I added to that tape before it was time to move on. Not sure how I remember this being the very last, but I would like to know where I stashed that tape.

Perfectly timed to complement (or perhaps aid in) the rise of hip-hop, the boombox rose to prominence in the late 70s and early 80s. Panasonic, Aiwa, JVC, Sharp, Conic, Yamaha, Sony and Lasonic were all kings of the street.

In it's most idealized form, the boombox was monolithic—both in stature and cultural relevance. Companies began competing to see who could make the loudest, flashiest machine around. Those big, beautiful graphic EQs that would rise and fall with the music became commonplace on machines like this, looking like a bot-send from the future.

While walking around town blasting a tape as loud as one possibly can is the imagery that first comes up (peace to Radio Raheem!), I think the tape-making ability of the boombox is what I loved best. You always hear stories about rappers, producers and DJs talking about how they used to spend all day dubbing tapes from the radio. By the time I got a boombox of my own in the early 90s, they had passed their marketing prime, and the ghettoblaster of my dreams had been reduced to a boring, black piece of plastic. But it was my own, and it still had a radio tuner and a record button!

As a kid, I was addicted to compiling tapes full of my favorite songs from the radio. I used to sit by the boombox, finger always at the ready, waiting for the song I wanted to come on. It was a precision artform—the tape had to be queued up to the right spot, you couldn't hit record too early and get too much DJ jibba jabba and you had to make sure to stop recording before the next song hit.

But I digress. The point is that while the iPod might be the new way to show off your standing in the social pecking order, the boombox might possibly have been the first piece of musical gadgetry to signify one's cool. Before the Walkman. Before the car sound system. Before all that. Long live the boom box. (Top photo courtesy of Photo Courtesy of ddefranza)

Listening Test: It's music tech week at Gizmodo.

His barn/garage, filled with vintage sports cars like a 1969 Camaro and modern Aston Martin, is also home to over 6,000W of sound. You see, Whitworth likes to listen to his music for hours on end at volumes of 120dB, or louder than a "loud" rock concert, about 5dB away from pain and right in the range of hearing loss. I said, right in the range of hearing loss!!

So his barn is filled with six JBL Pro concert models (not consumer grade stuff, which would just break on him), two 18-inch subs and two more "half-fridge-size" Velodyne Digital Drive 1812 Signature Edition subwoofers, which each contain hardware for both upper and lower bass response. Of course, there's 6400W of amplification to support all that speaker power, but even still, this rig is technically only a stereo. There's no surround sound processing. [Electronic House via CrunchGear]

The vertical sound field is created by two speakers which sit above the television, and will provide a noticeable effect in situations where something like an airplane flyover is on screen. The 7.2 system features 90 watts of power per channel, Dolby True HD and DTS-HD support, plus HDMI switching with 1080p support for Deep Color and x.v.Color.

Onkyo also launched the TX-SR307 and TX-SR507, which are only 5.1 and lack the Dolby Pro Logic IIz. They have 65 and 80 watts per channel, respectively, but feature the same HDMI support as its more sophisticated sibling. The 307, 507 and 607 will all be out in April for $300, $400 and $600, respectively.

Onkyo targets value-conscious consumers with a Spring 2009 AV Receiver line-up offering new technologies, features, and performance not previously available at these prices.

UPPER SADDLE RIVER, NJ (3/12/09) – As the first installment of its 2009 product line-up, Onkyo has introduced three new home theater receivers, including the world's first to offer Dolby's new ProLogic IIz processing, which can produce sound effects above the listener's head. Theses models, which range in price from $299 to $599, also include an array of advanced HD audio and video technologies from Onkyo, Dolby, DTS, Audyssey, Faroudja, and others that were previously only available at higher price points. The TX-SR607 features six HDMI inputs, and is the first AV receiver with a front-panel HDMI input.

With the debut of the new TX-SR607 receiver, Onkyo has the distinction of becoming the world's first manufacturer to launch a 7.2-channel home cinema receiver featuring the all-new Dolby Pro-Logic IIz mode. Designed to take home cinema sound to new heights (literally!) DPL IIz introduces a vertical aspect to the sound field through the addition of left and right-channel front height speakers mounted above the main speakers. Based on the initial positive reactions to demonstrations of this technology to dealers, Onkyo anticipates good demand for expanded height channel capabilities in future models.

"We are very excited to be the first audio manufacturer to utilize this exciting new surround format from Dolby," comments Onkyo USA marketing manager Paul Wasek. "It adds a new realm of audience involvement in three dimensions, with surprise aircraft flyovers triggering the 'duck' reflex. Onkyo has launched this technology on our most popular AV receiver, rather than our most expensive, in order to reach out to a much larger customer base. The company's premium receiver lineup, which will roll out over the Summer, will include expanded height-channel capabilities, internet radio and network audio technologies at lower price points."

These new models are well equipped for Blu-ray and other HD audio and video source components, with HDMI repeaters plus Dolby True HD and DTS-HD Master Audio processing in the TX-SR607 and TX-SR507. The entry-level TX-SR307 has HDMI pass-through switching on three inputs, while all three models support 1080p, Deep Color, and x.v.Color.

All of these receivers use Audyssey 2EQ, an automatic calibration system which corrects each channel's output in both frequency and time domains based on measurements at three unique listening positions, Audyssey Dynamic Volume technology, which optimizes the dynamic range of listening material at any listening level, and Audyssey Dynamic EQ, which corrects problems associated with reduced sound quality at low listening levels.

Onkyo has also developed four new exclusive gaming modes designed to enhance the listener's experience when using video game systems. Players can select from Rock, Sports, Action, or Role Playing game modes to match the gaming content. These new modes will immerse all the players in the action like never before.

The Onkyo TX-SR607 and TX-SR507 are the first to use the company's new proprietary rear-panel universal port, which simplifies the connection for Onkyo's forthcoming HD Radio Tuner and iPod Dock that will be available in late spring. The 5.1-channel TX-SR307 and TX-SR507 have 65- and 80-watts per channel amplifiers respectively, while the 7.2-channel TX-SR607 is rated at 90 watts per channel, has dual subwoofer line-outputs, upconverts all analog sources to HDMI via Faroujda DCDi technology, and is Sirius Satellite Radio ready.

The Onkyo TX-SR307 and TX-SR507 will be available in March, and the TX-SR607 in April with suggested retail prices of $299, $399, and $599 respectively.

Onkyo, which takes its name from the Japanese "On" meaning 'sound' and "Kyo" meaning 'harmony,' has been producing precision audio components for over a half-century. The company's philosophy is to deliver products that are superbly designed and built to a consistently outstanding standard of excellence. Today, Onkyo is at the forefront of the home theater and digital revolutions. For more information about this and other fine Onkyo products, visit www.onkyousa.com or call 800-229-1687.

Joel over at Boing Boing Gadgets says that Audiowood's founder, Joel Scilley, has a PhD in Media Studies, but instead hopped over to the Bay Area to pursue the most awesome profession of building wood turntables. The work pretty much speaks for itself, but I will say that I'm in love with that off-kilter platter on top of a tree stump slice. Swoon. [Audiowood via MocoLoco via BBG]

The boombox, posted on the blog for streetwear label Mishka, is the handiwork of artist Bill McMullen. We don't know much else about the piece, except that it was part of McMullen's "Hype, Hustle, Rip-Off" gallery opening (in fact, I think it might just be a plaster mold). But hey, it still looks completely pantsable. [Bill McMullen via Mishka Bloglin]

Their new Energy Efficient Series, debuting in the 2011 Chevy Volt, promises to be 30% smaller, 40% lighter, and use 50% less energy than "conventional Bose sound systems."

Is this some grand achievement on Bose's part? Well, we don't really know. It's ridiculously easy (and cheap) to make low wattage audio systems—it's just a bit more difficult to make them sound great. Still, we're interesting to see a new industry emerge—one that may have car audio enthusiasts installing more efficient amplifiers and lower wattage speakers...well, at least if they want to untether their car from an outlet. [Bose]

The Wireless Home Audio system comes in a variety of form factors, including standalone CD players with touch panels, hubs that connect to your home theater system, iPod docks and systems with detached speakers. They all have the ability to interface with one another, play music simultaneously according to designated zones, and since they're all DLNA 1.5 compliant, they can pull music from the same digital libraries and connected devices. The components also play nicely with the new Linksys Media Hub NAS.

• The Conductor (DMC350) is an all in one player that has it's own speakers, a seven-inch touchscreen for navigating digital libraries and a CD player.
Price: TBD

• The Director (DMC250) is a stand alone receiver with a 100 watt amplifier that has RCA and Speaker out to connect to your existing sound system. Price: $450

•The Player (DMP100)is intended to be plugged into an existing home theater system, merely relaying digital audio via RCA cables to your sound system. Price: $300

• The Controller (DMWR1000) is similar in function to Sonos' controller but this unit works over Wireless-N, has touchscreen functionality, as well as a D-pad. This is how you would navigate your media library with The Player connected to your stereo. There's even chatter of possibly offering an iPhone controller app down the road. Price: $350

• There are also a smattering of accessories such as speakers ($150), an iPod dock ($80), and a basic IR remote ($30). When the iPod dock is plugged in, any of the other devices can access the content on the iPod, as long as a wi-fi connection is present.

As far as bundles go, there will be three bundles offered—the Premier Kit, the Trio Kit and the Executive Kit. The Premier includes 1 Player, 1 Director, 1 Controller and 2 IR remotes for $1000. The Trio includes 2 Players, 1 Controller and 2 IR remotes for $850. The Executive includes 1 Director, speakers and an IR remote for $550. The entire Wireless Home Audio system, except the Conductor, should be available immediately. The Conductor is slated for a Q1 release.

Cisco Multi-Room Home Audio Solution Enhances and Extends
the Listening Experience for Consumers

Linksys by Cisco Wireless Home Audio makes it easy to play music
from a variety of sources wirelessly throughout the home

Las Vegas – January 7, 2009 – Cisco® today announced the Linksys by Cisco Wireless Home Audio system at the 2009 International Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. From the world leaders in networking, the Wireless Home Audio system utilizes Wireless-N technology to deliver a rich audio experience to any room in the home. Users can create a party atmosphere with immaculate synchronization when listening to the same song throughout the entire home, or send different music to customized “zones”. The Wireless Home Audio solution also puts millions of songs at your fingertips through integrated Internet services such as Rhapsody, AudioLounge, and RadioTime. An optional Docking Station for iPod enables your content on Apple iPods™, including Podcasts, Audio Books, and purchased iTunes content, to be played through any Wireless Home Audio device on the network. Wireless Home Audio products also work great with the newly announced Linksys by Cisco Media Hub that gathers and presents the available media on a network.

Facts/Highlights:

Complete Solution
The Wireless Home Audio product family includes three available options for playback devices that allow consumers to bring wireless audio to any room – the all-in-one Conductor, the Director with powerful amplifier and the Player which is the ideal addition to existing sound systems. A Wireless-N Controller enhances the Wireless Home Audio experience by providing touchscreen access to all available audio from anywhere in the home. Consumers can easily unleash audio from their iPods by simply slipping it into the available Docking Station for instant access to all of the songs, playlists, and other audio content on the device. In addition, with millions of songs available from Rhapsody in the US and AudioLounge in Europe, Wireless Home Audio users can search for tracks, discover new artists, and create playlists to be sent to any room. A “Favorites” function gives one-touch access to any content from any source.

Great Audio Quality, Precise Synchronization
Cisco, the world’s leader in networking technology has applied its years of knowledge and expertise to develop an amazing lossless digital audio delivery solution that preserves the full depth and richness of the recording, as originally intended by the artist. Through distributed decoding technology, each Wireless Home Audio device receives unmodified audio source material without any trans-coding or compression. The audio is then reproduced and synchronized to within microseconds, virtually eliminating echo artefacts so often evident in other wireless audio systems.
Wireless Simplicity
With Linksys by Cisco Wireless Home Audio, music can be unleashed from existing digital libraries that are stored on a PC or other device, integrated Internet services, or even an iPod, with no need to run new wires around the home, or undergoing complex home renovation to install the devices. As a complete wireless solution, Wireless Home Audio products enable consumers to fully equip their homes with a world of music that is at their fingertips.
Standards-Based Compatibility 
Following Cisco’s standards-based approach to networking, the Wireless Home Audio products utilize Wireless-N technology to provide greater value to the consumer by allowing each device to achieve its full potential as an extension of the solution rather than requiring that one of the devices be hard-wired to a router. Wireless Home Audio products have been built to utilize the DLNA 1.5 standard, extending the value of the solution by making it accessible to and from a broad variety of devices. The products are compatible with standards such as HomePlug, Wireless-G, and Ethernet to allow consumers to choose the mix of networking technologies that is right for them.

Products

Conductor DMC350 Wireless-N Digital Music Center
The Conductor is a complete, portable, self-contained wireless music system with integrated speakers that can be used to bring music to any room of the home. All it needs is a power outlet. It features a seven inch LCD touch screen for easy navigation through your music library and an integrated CD player to play those songs that you have not digitized yet. An individual IR Remote is included.

Director DMC250 Wireless-N Music Player with Integrated Amplifier
Features a 50-watt per channel integrated amplifier powerful enough to be placed in any room as a more permanent solution to access digital music, and includes a line in and out to connect to speakers. Its full color LCD display makes navigating through your music library simple. An individual IR Remote is included.

Player DMP100 Wireless-N Music Extender
Allows you to access digital music from existing stereo or surround sound systems in the home. Its compact design allows it to blend well with any décor making it an ideal option to extend music to any room in the home utilizing your existing audio equipment. An individual IR Remote is included.

Stereo Speaker Kit DSPK50 
designed to compliment the Director - Wireless-N Music Player. Pair them to create a complete, high-quality wireless sound system and experience your digital music all around your home, at your control.

Controller DMWR1000 Wireless-N Touchscreen Remote
Designed to control the complete Wireless Home Audio system wirelessly. It features a large, color touchscreen, thumbwheel, and engaging interface designed to let you easily control any one or every one of your Linksys by Cisco Wireless Home Audio devices, including a docked iPod, from anywhere in your home, even when they’re out of sight.

Docking Station for iPod MCCI40
Allows consumers to extend their available Wireless Home Audio library to include all of the content on their iPod, including Podcasts, Audio Books, and purchased iTunes content.

IR Remote DMRIR500
Comes standard with the Conductor, Director, and Player. Its simple button layout and slim form factor allows you to easily control your audio devices when you do not have a Controller nearby.

To simplify the purchasing process, three Wireless Home Audio kits are available:

Premier Kit:
A two-room starter kit that includes Director and IR Remote, Player and IR Remote, and Wireless-N Controller.

Trio Kit:
A kit for consumers looking to add the power Wireless Home Audio to their existing audio systems, the Trio Kit includes 2 Players, 2 IR Remotes, and a Wireless-N Controller.

Executive Kit:
An easy way to add a Wireless Home Audio capabilities to any room, the Executive Kit includes a Director, IR Remote and matching speakers.

Supporting Quotes:

Greg Memo, vice president and general manager, products, Cisco Consumer Business Group.
“After years of research and testing, we are answering the consumer’s call for a wireless home audio system that seamlessly consolidates music content from all of their sources into one solution with incredible audio quality. By both expanding the amount of accessible music and simplifying the experience, we have developed a family of products that work together to greatly enhance the experience of enjoying digital music throughout the home.”

Mike Wolf, director, Digital Home, ABI Research
“We believe that today’s home usage paradigm for digital music will transition from being PC-centric to one that is networked and accessible throughout the home. Cisco’s products allow consumers to enjoy their digital music collections over the network and point to where we believe this market is going.”

Worldwide Market Trends:
In a recent IDC survey, 46% of home network owners and 27% of non home network owners were interested in streaming music from their computer or the Internet to their stereo. (IDC, June 2008)

ABI forecasts total worldwide networked audio shipments will grow from 6.4 million to 38 million with a CAGR of 68%.  (ABI, 2007)

Nearly a fourth — 22% — of US households have at least one iPod. That’s nearly 25 million households that currently have an iPod. Thirty percent of them have more than one iPod. (Forrester 2008)

Pricing and availability:
The Wireless Home Audio products are available in the United States from authorized Linksys by Cisco retailers, authorized resellers, and VAR partners. Cisco anticipates availability in stores in Denmark and The Netherlands during the first quarter of 2009. The Conductor will be available in the first quarter of 2009.

Estimated street prices are as follows:

Premier Kit - $999.99/ €999.99
Trio Kit - $849.99/ €849.99
Executive Kit - $549.99/ €549.99
Conductor – Pricing available at launch
Director - $449.99/ €449.99
Player - $299.99/ €299.99
Stereo Speaker Kit - $149.99/ €149.99
Controller - $349.99/ €349.99
iPod Dock - $79.99/ €79.99
IR Remote - $29.99/ €29.99

Over at Instructables they have detailed instructions on just how to do this. It works best if you have the original, crappy stereo that came with your car handy, but it'll work with other models if you measure properly. Just get yourself a bunch of epoxy, some Velcro, an ironic cassette and a few hours of your time and you'll be good to go. Unless someone with a fetish for old cassette decks walks by your car, that is, but that's probably a risk you're willing to take. [Instructables]

Onkyo Stereo with Built-in Online Shopping [Electronista]

The iSongBook looks like some retro-futuristic boombox for the iPod. Aside from absolute top notch audio quality, the parts are made for abuse as well. Rubber knobs, real speaker grills, waterproof enclosure, and an old school antenna to finish the look. It comes with an interchangeable iPod dock allowing any iPod model to fit. The right speaker also detatches to allow maximum portability. A nice remote control, and sleek blue LCD screen are included to give total control of your iPod and the included AM/FM radio. Remember Radio Raheem from Do The Right Thing? He had to have 20 D batteries in his ghetto blaster. The iSongBook needs 6 AA batteries if you decide to kick it portable. All these great features carry a big pricetag of $329, but is well worth it for what you're getting.

First Looks Special: Tivoli iSongBook... [iLounge]

Sharpened Up for a Bit of the Ol' Ultra-Useless

As a Geekish-American pre-teen, I kept two publications stashed beneath my boxspring: the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue (especially the one with Elle McPherson in the Dominican Republic) and the latest Sharper Image catalogue. Man, how I loved peeping those seemingly fancy gadgets, and dreaming of the day when I'd have $395 to drop on a Laserx laser pointer. Yes, $395—it used a "helium neon gas plasma laser tube" with a range of 55 yards, so it was obviously worth every penny. And, like Elle in the swimsuit issue, the Laserx was backlit and airbrushed to inspire a Pavlovian response—my first taste of printed gadget porn.

Then my pops actually ponied up for the $129 "sound soother," and my Sharper Image worship ended right quick. Thing was a hunk of junk, and all of the "primal forest sounds" were reminiscent of walkie-talkie buzz.

As I've matured into a halfway respectable adult, I've now come to regard many Sharper Image gadgets as hilarious, or pathetic, or both. Especially those sold during the company's heyday, before anyone could stroll down to the local discount store and pick up an electronic toothbrush or nosehair trimmer.

In the past two column, I appealed to you, dear readers, to pass along word of ludicrous, low-end Sharper Image gizmos of yore. Your submissions after the jump, as well as some items I discovered through my own research—including, yes, the Bug Vac (pictured above right). PLUS: Low End Theory is gently reminded that wattage output is logarithmic

First, a little history lesson. When it started up in the mid-70s as a vendor of executoys, the Sharper Image wasn't much of a gadget emporium. It was more about selling replica swords and the like, including (as one elephant-memoried reader mailed) a 9mm pistol knock-off that looked exactly like the real thing. (This was obviously before the laws turned against toy guns, forcing manufacturers to paint the barrels orange.)

The gadgets started coming in the mid-80s, right around the same time everyone got in a tizzy over the Heathkit HERO and other personal robots, not to mention the first Macintosh. And thus began the Sharper Image's long love affair with gizmos that, on one level, seemed ahead of their time, but on another level are unadulterated crap.

Let's start with the Vocalizer 1000, billed as "the world's first voice-controlled music synthesizer." You'd speak or sing into the mic, and it would turn your oh-so-lovely tenor into, say, a cowbell or the French horn. Not entirely unworthy of admiration, but everything ended up sounding sort of like the infamous sound soother—very white noise-y. Recently saw one on eBay for $8, so there's no question that the Vocalizer 1000 meets the Low End Theory criteria.

The Bug Vac debuted on the Sharper Image in the late '80s, though now it is widely available. Gotta love the idea—we here at Gizmodo are staunchly against gnat, fruit flies, and other household pests—and the price was right at $20. But check this: the original unit's storage cartridge could only hold 40 bugs at any given moment. Um, excuse me? I run into more than 40 bugs each morning on my way from the bed to the shower. I'll just stick to squashing them with my size-12 sneaker.

For a dollar less in the same era, you could purchase the fake car-phone antenna, which isn't a gadget so much as a manipulative toy for tricking ladies into overestimating your net worth. It actually didn't sell very well for the Sharper Image, which gives me fresh hope in America's innate goodness.

I could go on and on about the various foot massagers and in-shower CD players that have graced the pages of the Sharper Image catalogue over the years. But gotta wrap up with the contest winner, submitted by a man whose name belongs in the pantheon of greatness: Douglas Bridges. This Gizmodo reader is to be lauded for directing us to the Truth Quest lie-detecting phone, which he spotted on eBay for $47. The phone allegedly analyzes the stress in a caller's voice, and signals the level of truthfulness with a series of LEDs: green for "he's telling the truth," red for "he's a bald-faced liar," and yellow for "your guess is as good as mine." Note, too, that the Truth Quest offers "sleek European-style phone features," not to mention a redial button. With that sort of advanced technology at your command, $47 is a steal indeed.

Don't interpret this column as an outright slam on the Sharper Image. I'm all for their massage chairs, especially the new iJoy ZipConnect. Just having a little fun at the expense of a company that's offered its fair share of outrageously useless duds. We're laughing with you, Sharper Image, not at you. Though given how touchy you've been over criticism of your air purifiers, maybe you're not enjoying the ribbing.

LOW END THEORY FALLS FOR IT: Thanks for the reader who pointed out the amateur mistake I made in last week's column: declaring one stereo system superior to another merely on the basis of wattage. Hyping wattage, of course, is an old stereo-salesman trick. Tim Denner wrote in to remind us that "wattage is logrithmic (sic); to double the sound, multiply your wattage by 10." So our whole riff on dollars-per-watt? Claptrap. We'd have been much better off comparing decibel sound pressure levels—if only Record Shack had that sort of info on its handwritten hype sheet. Thanks, Tim, and apologies for the dunderheadedness. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Brendan I. Koerner is a contributing editor at Wired and a columnist for both The New York Times and Slate. His Low End Theory column appear every Thursday on Gizmodo.

Read more Low End Theory