[Current]

Fake Steve Jobs:

Yes, there will be a backlash. Wait until you see what the mobile phone guys have planned. Like Nokia. God love those Finns, but they never met a button or a switch that they could resist. They’ll load their devices up with every possible feature and they’ll create a software interface that nobody can understand, and for reasons I don’t understand, weird people all over Europe (the artsy kind wearing too-small jackets and scarves wrapped around their necks) will embrace this clusterfuck of useless features and impossible operating design as a new breakthrough.

Not us, though. We’re going to keep driving toward even greater minimalism. My goal is to have zero buttons. Zero visible screws. Just nothing at all on the outside. Perfectly smooth surfaces. Remember the Pet Rock craze in the '70s? That was a huge inspiration for me. People spent a fortune buying those little rocks, just because everyone else around them was doing it too. Huge lesson in that and it led directly to the founding of Apple in 1977. My pet rock — I call him Frank, after Frank Gehry — still sits on the desk at my office. Kind of a reminder of what our company is all about.

Bruce Sterling

Yeah, it's incredible how much power [the real Steve] Jobs has, isn't it? Even when his company's on the ropes, if he says, "It'll be translucent, blob-shaped and in lickable candy-colors," people from Toledo to Taiwan just go for it. Whereas, if an iPod or iPhone's got no buttons, all of a sudden buttons are like leprosy. You can "backlash" the Reality Distortion Field, but you're better off not trying.

Projects Watch Designer Daniel Will-Harris

Minimalist designs like the iPhone are quite beautiful, but also, in a way, invisible. They become frames to the content. But fashions in design are always evolving, and what's cool now may look dated, or at least "not new" in a few years.

I see a time when devices have a standard core of electronics designed to be placed into a wide design of cases tailored to your specific needs and desires. These cases would be offered by the device manufacturer, and also by third-parties who are given the open specs for creating a case. Think software skins, but as hardware. You could get a custom device case that specifically is molded to your grip, or is shaped like your favorite pet pygmy hamster. Maybe you want your device to be made of waterproof soft orange silicone, or milled out of hard cold malachite.

Now with rapid prototyping machines [and other new techniques], mass production doesn't have to mean endless sameness, it can mean endless variety. Sure, there will always be those who want what Madonna is carrying (and knockoffs will be easier and cheaper than ever). But customization and personalization will let you make devices more uniquely your own.

Yves Behar, head of fuseproject design firm:

Rather than going with a trend—minimalism vs. a more showy design—we're gonna get much more diversity. Companies will have the opportunity to be unique. The hope here is that there is opportunity that is taken by tech companies to create their own direction, create their own ethos recognizable, one from the other. Wired Magazine created something like this from the start, a unique look. Whether you like fluorescent colors or not, it's that kind of individualism or uniqueness, eclecticism. Hopefully this is something we'll see happening more. Living in a trend-driven environment with everything being matchy matchy isn't very interesting.

When I opened the package.

The phone was on.

There were no cute buttons, no touch screen. (NEVER touch the screen, I'll tell you why later on.)

Instead, there was a blurry image of Steve Jobs burned into it. At first I didn't recognize it at all, my brother told me he was sure it was Steve Jobs. We looked through some pictures online and we are pretty sure the image is that of Steve Jobs.

I tried to rub it off thinking it was a joke, but the screen was SUPER HOT. I pretty much burned my fingers and as I type this, the middle and ring fingers on my right hand barely feel the keys on this keyboard. Never ever touch the screen of this ipod. The sides are cool room temperature, but the screen is intensely hot.

The image doesn't move, it's burned on so its not on the LCD. The LCD doesn't even turn on. However the sound does work, and occasionally (ussually when someone is looking at it or talking about it, but it might be a coincidence)
The iPhone chuckles, loudly!

Steve Jobs just laughs at me. Over and over and over. I've had it for a day and it hasn't run out of batteries. The sound still works. It laughs while I sleep. It laughs at me in the car. At work. Everywhere.

I was going to return it, but maybe someone is interested in this haunted piece of technology.

It could be yours for a mere $8,180,000.50, the seemingly-arbitrary starting bid. But beware! It's haunted, haunted I tell you! Or, more likely, this is [eBay via Geekologie]

Even though Steve was pretty much off the hook as of November of last year, the Feds kept the case under official criminal investigation until now. Several civil suits are still pending, however, but as far as the Justice Department is concerned, there's no dirt. [WSJ (subscription)]

The letter, which can be found on ruinediphone.com asks Apple's head honcho to “take a look at all these disappointed people” and do something! It also includes a petition, which has garnered over 10,600 signatures at last count. Do our friends to the North a favor and sign the fracking thing, eh?

Rogers has argued that its top data plan, 2GB a month for $115, is more than enough for most users and that an unlimited plan would “end up costing customers more for what they don't use.” Hmmm, sounds suspiciously like they're taking a page from the book of the cable industry over here. [Fortune]

For fun: Fun? Fun is for losers. I like to make money. And white things that go "bleep" silently. You think I'm kidding? Well, fuck you, you virgin.

My job: In the words of one of my many imitators, "Dude, I invented the iPhone. And the iPod, the iMac, the MacBook, the Lisa... *continues ad infinitum*

Favorite hot spots: Hawaii, California, NYC, my meditation cushion.

Favorite things: Money, White things, iTunes, calligraphy, the kids, jeans, black turtleneck, Windows Vista (just kidding), Dylan, the Beatles, Coldplay, beards.

Last read: WSJ, FSJ, Gizmodo, The Art of War by Sun Tzu

About me and who I'm looking for: I'm the best. So if you want to be with me, you'd better be the best (although that place is already taken. By me). But the best in your class—as long as that class is Alpha. Impatient, I don't suffer fools gladly. I fight to win, so that means I'm aggressive. I love blondes—like I said, there's only room for one brunette in my life, and that's me. And did I tell you I'm a genius?

For fun: Giving stuff away. Swim night with the kids, driving fast, Africa, oiled-up Graeco-Roman wrestling with Ballmer, oiled-up wrestling with anyone, actually.

My job: I am currently retired

My ethnicity: Binary

Favorite hot spots: Washington State, Harvard, Yale, my beautiful, throbbing brain.

Favorite things: Hoodies, money, research labs, books, science, long romantic walks on the beach discussing phosphates and malaria vaccines

Last read: "Steve Ballmer's Day, 06.20.08", a pamphlet by some guy I've got spying on my replacement, 1001 of the Best Binary Jokes Ever; balance sheets, The Bridges of Madison County.

About me and who I'm looking for: According to Brian Williams, I'm a "brilliant, powerful, let's face it, sexy and good-looking leader of men and women." As for what I'm looking for, well, basically, anyone who's free five weeks from Tuesday, because I've got a window at 7.30pm.

Going back a quarter-century, Jobs was always sexy—as you can see from the hilarious clip below. It is Gates, however, who has come a long way. This vid proves that the Seattle-born brainbox was the '80s equivalent to Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg, that is, not a natural-born sex bomb:

Let me leave you with an anecdote. About a year and a half ago, just after I'd started working here, I had a strange dream. In it, Blam was scheduled to interview Steve Jobs for Giz but, as the appointed hour approached, there was a change. "He wants you to do it," Blam said, coming over to my imaginary desk in the open-plan office of my dream. "Me?" "Yeah," said Blam, the hurt evident in his voice. "But I don't know anything about him," I bleated.
"I know that," said my boss. You've got 30 minutes to prepare."

In the event, though, the interview was an absolute disaster. There was me, a bunch of questions scrawled on my reporters' pad, in the kitchen, making him a mug of tea, and Jobs, chasing me between kettle and cupboard, brushing off all attempts to give him a hard ride, instead asking me how I liked my men (answer: scrambled.) It was not the most successful of interviews—I was far too earnest and uptight, while he behaved like that randy old goat from the speeded-up bit of The Benny Hill Show. I woke up feeling both attracted to him, yet at the same time repelled.

I have yet to dream about Bill Gates.

With apologies to Melinda Gates and Laurene Powell Jobs.

When Levy went to Newsweek, I wondered if his famed Apple access would follow him. With Fake Steve, reading columns like this, it's a safe guess he may not want any additional access that may come with the weight of Newsweek. He's a horseman, but I hope he keeps that outside, mainstream perspective that our whole little world of gadget review is a ridiculous one. [Peter Kafka's Brain]

Looking back, I think we covered it well, but today I'm seeing more newspaper features and even photo galleries checking up on Steve's health over the last 10 years and comparing photos. It's exactly the type of activity that makes a subject despise the press and it's a good reason why I sometimes hate the press, too.

For those of you not clear, here's why this a story: Fans of Apple gear may worry that if Jobs is sick, gear won't be as good. Finance people worry that if the gear isn't as good, or if Apple's leader gets seriously sick again, they won't make as much money and so, it is time to sell stock. The press? Well, the press, we follow it for the interests of the two previous groups who deem it a story. I get that. But I wish it wasn't tracked. Those reasons are all driven by profit, without much immediate good for readers.

Inevitably, some will ask if we would we cover this sort of thing if it was Bill Gates or Steve Ballmer? Gates and Ballmer aren't as integral to Microsoft as Jobs is to Apple, so I doubt anyone else would. The answer is that we might have covered personal issues like this in the past, but I'm happy enough letting go of it going forward out of respect. I mean, we've all had people get sick in our lives. Maybe it's best if we just let the stories slide.

Maybe I'm just being sensitive. What do you think?

In an otherwise surprise-free keynote today, one without booms or "one more thing"s, one bit of news stood out: White made a quiet return to the iPod family in the premium 16GB iPhone 3G. Sure, it never fully left Apple—remaining the default color for earbuds, plugs, power bricks, AirPort products and the cheapest MacBooks—but we were finally getting used to a world without white iPods. Does this mean after nine short months put out to the pastures, white is already retro-cool again?

This time around, white won't be for everybody. Once the staple color of the iPod revolution, white will be a statement for those bold enough to sport a phone that bright. It's incredible; when Jobs dropped a little black on the masses, we thought that was radical, but eventually accepted it as the norm. When most Apple products went brushed-aluminum, we were again stunned, but now we think nothing of it. Today white, the color that we accepted from the beginning, is back, this time on an iPhone, and it looks like the most far-out Apple product yet.

Will the return of white in the iPhone set a pattern for the iPod touch, classic, and others? Will white be the new, well, white, taking back the reins as the most popular color? Will the color make its way back to Apple's high-style MacBook Air? Can Jobs, Jonathan Ive and the Cupertino crew keep us on our toes forever by recycling the same three finishes? Most importantly, are you a person that's bold enough to rock this flamboyant new phone? I, for one, am not. [Apple]

We had a chance to ask director/writer/editor Kobi Shely about his first movie. And he had some interesting things to say about Apple and the people who really, really love them.

Tell me about shooting the documentary.
MacHEADS was produced throughout 2007 and 2008; First day of shooting started with Macworld conference in January 2007 and ended in June with the first release of the iPhone. Brothers Ron and Kobi Shely, and Director of Photography Alon Grego flew from Israel to San Francisco and met up with a local production teams. The budget came independently we managed to come up with approx $200,000.

How many people did you chronicle?
We interviewed 50 people form the community and inside Apple, but naturally not all of them were included in the final cut.

Can you define "Machead" in one sentence?
(Obviously you take more time to do it in the film.)
MacHEADS starts with a definition from the Urban dictionary - a person who regularly uses and is somewhat obsessed with Apple computers; or Macs. I would add to this A person who had put the Mac (including: UI, OS, APPLE Inc. , Steve Jobs and peripheral Mac products) in the center of his day-to-day life.

Why did you pick Mac enthusiasts as the topic for a documentary?
I think Mac enthusiasts are the best topic for a documentary as an art form the investigate human phenomenon. In fact, before starting the project I was surprised to find out that this film was not done yet. Mac enthusiasts posses all the right ingredients and traits for a compelling documentary: lust,obsession, devotion, comradery and ... sex appeal

Did making this film provide any particular insights to why/how people are obsessed with the Apple brand?
We wanted to answer the core question : How is a community formed around a brand and how did this phenomenon begin? I wasn't satisfied with the usual answers about design and the "power of the brand". I knew there was something bigger. During the filmmaking process it became obvious that there is a community and there is Apple. Although they correlate, in many ways they are separated.

In the early days the only people who were using personal computers were hobbies and scientists. Apple was the first company to actually build a prepackaged product for the rest of us. This sparked a sense of techno- utopia, different people were getting together to change the world through technology by using a Mac. And as often in these world-changing situations these people were the underdog, the minority. They had to band together to survive, their survival mechanism was similar to those penguins who hold together and got to press tightly together and exclude all outsiders to share what ever body warmth they can manage.

This is why this community is so obsessed with Mac because it managed to tap into their survival mechanism. However there is an expanding base of Mac fans who simply follow Apple because it is cool and fashionable, these are not the die hard obsessed MacHEADS.

Is Mac obsession any different from obsession with any other hobby, person or company?
I'd have to say that there is no question that it is an obsession not like any other. In the 90s crisis Mac users went out of their ways volunteering to save the company from going down, how many brands can claim that? and it wasn't just a one time thing it was through a period of almost 3 years. This kind of loyalty in my opinion brands can only dream of. What is interesting to me is that Apple never figured out how to manage their die hard fans, in some way the Macintosh community scares Apple. And now that Apple has become an overwhelming success they want to move away as far as they can from their most loyal and create a clean image of a life style brand.

Walk me through the process of post production.
Post production took us almost 8 months to complete. We are a small production company and when I say small I really mean me and my brother and MacHEADS is our first documentary project. There are benefits of being fully independent but there are also downsides of not having a team of specializing people in the process of post. We had to rely on ourselves to figure out ways to research archives go through legal issues compose the story score the music, animate and color correct the footage...I edited at my apartment on Avid Xpress Pro (using of course a G5), the online was done on Symphony, music composed in L.A by our talented friend and composer Roy Zu Arets, and sound design was executed by Ohad Tzachar who worked in N.Y for a leading broadcast company. A lot of people we worked with were in some ways Apple fans because they come from creative fields and they were very kin to get on board and help.

What's the future for MacHEADS: The Movie?
During the filmmaking process we came to realize the promise of web 2.0 and community driven distribution. Although we are negotiating with some distributors about Television deals, we believe such a film could become a good proof for the digital independent distribution potential. MacHEADS is in general a film about the community and for the community and this is why it is best fit for web 2.0 distribution. Also we hope to be able to get onto iTunes which is also a natural platform for such a movie. Now that we are done with the post production we are planning a few special screenings in San Fransisco and NY. We will naturally be going on festival circuit tour all across the world.

So are you a Machead?
No, but like most creative we use and love Apple products. [MacHEADS]

I judge the company by the products, and I use most of em, and am happy with most of them. I also note how swiftly the company responds to public outcry with generally reasonable responses. (SDK, Airport Extreme Time Capsule support, iPhone pricing rebate.) So I consider their actions and products to be generally on the side of good. But clearly, there is something going on there in terms of public perception, Jobs's reputation as a tough cookie, their closed ecosystems and their recent success.

So, what do you think? Apple: Good or Evil and Why? Or were the photoshoppers just having a bit of fun with Steve?

The highly extensible OpenMac is a configuration of PC hardware capable of running unmodified OS X Leopard kernels. If you purchase Leopard with your OpenMac we will not only include the actual Leopard retail package with genuine installation disc, but we also include a Psystar restore disc for your OpenMac and we will preinstall Leopard for free so you can begin to use your computer right out of the box.

Apple's EULA prohibits the use of Mac OS X in any hardware not made by Apple, so Psystar's legal position is unclear. The only thing we know for now is that a) their site is down and b) you can spend $400 and get all this:

• 2.2GHz Intel Core 2 Duo E4500 Processor
• 2GB of DDR2 667 memory
• Integrated Intel GMA 950 Graphics
• 20x DVD+/-R SATA drive that is Lightscribe-capable
• 4 rear USB Ports

in a fully-expandable, butt-ugly generic PC box. Not too shabby. [Psystar —Thanks Sean Crowell]

Simply create a masterwork featuring his Steveness in either the most evil light possible or the best light possible, then email your final piece to contests@gizmodo.com with the subject line of "Steve Jobs Chop" and with the filename being of the format "FirstName_LastName.jpg." Don't screw this up; if you don't use the proper email formatting we might not see your email. You have through the weekend to do your work and get it in, then early next week the Gallery of Champions will go up for all to see. Onward, artists! Let us see your talents! [Image by Logan Lape]

The NYC logo which, ironically enough, seems to be an apple drawn from an infinite loop, (ha!) has been appearing on bus shelters, hybrid taxis and shopping bags from Whole Foods. The Cupertino gang's claim for trademark infringement is, however, hard to prove with a logo, as its key issue is likelihood of confusion or dilution, according to an SF lawyer specializing in trademarks.

This dispute is the third time Apple has been involved in trademark infringement claims—remember its battle with the Beatles' Apple Corps, and Cisco Systems about who had the right to use the iPhone name?

The GreeNYC campaign applied for a trademark on its logo back in May 2007, whilst Apple's opposition, and NYC's counterclaim was filed four months later, on September 18. Next step, apparently, is to commission some independent surveys, known as mall-stop surveys, to see if Apple has a leg to stand on. The final decision will be made by the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board of the patent office. [Wired]

...four days later, I received an e-mail from my manager saying that Apple was at my service. Word of my problem initially made it's way to Apple not by way of my public profile, but by a technician receiving the report as they would anyone else's and passing it along internally until word reached my friends at the company.

Well, John, sorry to bust the bubble, but if you start your bug reports saying you are John Mayer, of course your manager is going to get a mail from Apple. The support guy who took care of Mayer had this to say:

"We take crash reports seriously on our side, because for us it's just like being able to talk directly with the customer while the problem is happening. The information that we get from the automated system is perfect for helping us solve the problem, and obviously the customers comments can take it one step further."

We bet that Apple takes reports seriously, but have you ever got anyone from Apple—or any other company—sending you an email from a bug report? [John Mayer —thanks Robbie]

Guest Editor's Answer: Mr. T has sent hundreds of bug reports about Safari breaking down and never got ANYTHING back from those Apple suckas! Here's my latest report:

Hello suckas! Mr. T here. I was trying to do some of editing today for this tech site and the crazy Safari crashed! I pity the fool who goes out tryin' a' take over da world with their browser, then runs home cryin' to his momma! So listen to me, suckas! You're going to fix this! Or I'm gonna kill that crazy Jobs! Sincerely, Mr. T

And then I added a picture of genitals drawn in ASCII code!

He adds in his blog:

I'll let you know if I get a response from anyone at Apple. I wonder if somebody on the other side is really going to read it ... I can hear it now, the squeak of a chair pushing away from a desk as a man grinds his cigarette into an ashtray, stands up waving a printout over his head and screams "WE GOT AN iTUNES CRASH OVER HEEAH!!!" Because in my mind everything looks like a '60s-era spy movie.

Actually, it feels to more like contacting the Wizard of Oz to me, but I guess that John is used to spies and Men in Black every time he has to go to see The Steve to play with his toys.

Do you write this kind of letter in the bug reporters of Mac OS X or Windows? Are they neutral? Fun? Angry? Don't you wish you could draw pictures of genitals and send them? Don't you? Huh? HUH? OK, so maybe that's just me. Post your answers in the comments. [John Mayer's Blog—thanks Camperton]

In that time, I think I've probably gained 50 pounds, and you've maybe been hitched, lost your virginity, gained some grays, or earned a few degrees.

The piece is based on editor Leander Kahney's new book Inside Steve's Brain, which comes out in a few weeks. I was lukewarm on posting the cover without any excerpts, turning it into a highly promotional piece for the magazine without any meat (the story goes live later this week). Leander responded, saying he understood and made an offhand mention that he'd be sending the cover to a competitor in an hour. I knew they wouldn't post, and called his bluff, but also recognized the tactic: From the book of Jobs, where he'd often play Newsweek and Time off of each other for access. That got a good chuckle out of both of us. And here I am, posting on the cover. So I guess it worked.

Most people remember it as so, but the old article from the 1997 "Pray" cover was never a slam piece. It was 100 bullets of advice for the then struggling company. Some of the advice was never put into play, but a lot of it was and for the best. [Pray, Inside Steve's Brain]

The increased speed and power comes from its dual Dual Rolls-Roice BR725 engines, which provide with 4.6% more thrust than its predecesor—the BR710—while being 33% quieter. It's not much better on the emissions front (sorry, Mr. Ex-Vicepresident): only 5% fewer NOx emissions and 10% less smoke.

The coolest thing about the Gulfstream 750, however, is the technology that goes in. The flight controls —with fly-by-wire and dual hydraulic backup controls—and their advanced vision system, which combines enhanced vision with synthetic 3D rendering (SV-PFD) to give you military-grade visual assistance.

The cockpit has a four large 14-inch displays, an LCD HUD II which provides with the enhanced vision you see above and the SV-PFD. The control of the multifunction displays is quite nice, with an analog pad built onto the pilot's joystick itself.

All state-of-the-art toys everywhere. The catch for the billionaires of this world? These technological wonders are not available today: the unveiled craft is a mock-up of the whole thing. The $58.5 million Gulfstream 650 won't be ready until 2012, which apparently will raise the total price for $65 million. Or, if you live in Europe, $101 million. [Gulfstream 650]

PC fanboys, you just really can't win.

Third, it is made of cotton, rather than woven from the finest black carbon nanotubes harvested from the backs of cybernetic sheep. Available in small and medium sizes, the only reason we can think for this not coming in size L and above is so that no one buys one for Real Steve and he gets so pissed he shuts the company down. Only $20. [Indie Tech via Gear Fuse]

Elsewhere, audiophiles on the Head-Fi forums are complaining that the update brought "hiss" and "static" to the classic, and others say that the firmware froze their iPods or restored them inadvertently. (Note: We have not noticed any irregularities like this after extended use with our own updated classic.)

So what's the reason behind all this? Is El Jobso trying to control our minds with hypnotic pulses again? Make us switch to the iPhone? Per usual, Apple does not have any response to the matter. If a new firmware update comes soon, well, that's probably as good a confirmation as we're ever gonna get. [The Street]

Around this time of year, I like to poke around in the MoneyLine campaign donation search tool at Congressional Quarterly's website. You can look up anyone you want—campaign donations by law have to be public. Sometimes the results are clear, as in the case of William Gates, "esecutive" (sic) of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.Things are a tad murkier when it comes to Palo Alto resident Laurene P Jobs:
Given the number of Barack listings, it's clear that Laurene is a fan. She might even be too zealous: Is that -$2,300 line item a donation she had to take back for giving too much? Even if you nix that and one of the other $2,300 items (for a zero sum), Barack appears to be $2,300 ahead of both Hillary and John Edwards.

It is possible that I'm reading this wrong, although I've doublechecked it as best as I can. The real lesson here is that anyone can "follow the money." Want to have a go? Dive in, enjoy democracy and report back any weirdness you might happen upon. [CQ MoneyLine]

"It doesn't matter how good or bad the product is, the fact is that people don't read anymore... The whole conception is flawed at the top because people don't read anymore."

Of course, if it's anything like his past declarations that Apple wasn't making a phone, they're totally cooking up a Kindle-killer in the lab at this very moment. It'll be the thinnest one ever and have AT&T 3G, but not a built-in antenna.

Also on his "give up now, fools" list: Android."Having created a phone, it's a lot harder than it looks. We'll see how good their software is and we'll see how consumers like it and how quickly it is adopted." Besides,

"I actually think Google has achieved their goal without Android, and I now think Android hurts them more than it helps them. It's just going to divide them and people who want to be their partners."

But he did have something nice to say to our man Bill Gates, though John Markoff doesn't know whether his eye was twitching as he spoke. "Bill's retiring from Microsoft is a big deal," he said. "It's a significant event, and I think he should be honored for the contributions he's made." Implied dig: I'm still gonna be running Apple, bitches—my "contributions" are far from over. [NYT]