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How To: Steal a Laptop

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DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star.
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
Facebook: Adding insult to injury since 2004.
Reply

Edited by DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star. at 08/17/09 12:44 PM

Kaiser-Machead
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
I'm posting a bounty for $30,000 for someone to kick the living shit out of this guy and post it on youtube. Contact me at kaisermachead@gmail.com with verification that said scumbag was kicked the shit out of and we can make arrangements*

*though satisfaction of ass-kicking guaranteed, arrangements for transfer of funding is not, but don't let that deter you
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Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred

anexanhume
08/17/09

@Kaiser-Machead: While I have no intentions of starting anything with this guy, I now know where to contact you to break the ice. Please don't have reject me. I hate rejection, and I'd imagine so do the porn mails I'll subscribe you to.
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anexanhume was starred anexanhume was unstarred

qbrad
08/17/09

@anexanhume aka Flintheart Glomgold: I guess you either don't know the Kaiser, or know him very well. Either way, I wouldn't seriously threaten the guy like that.
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qbrad was starred qbrad was unstarred

GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
08/17/09

@anexanhume aka Flintheart Glomgold: I can be contacted at GitEmSteveDave@gmail.com , IMed on AIM @ GitEmSteveDave , talked to at 908-912-GESD (GitEmSteveDave) or bee seen on GitEmSteveDave.com .
Reply

Edited by GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid at 08/17/09 12:00 PM

GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
08/17/09

@qbrad: I'm also wondering what porn mails Kaiser isn't ALREADY subscribed to.
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GildaSwoosh
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
If she used gmail, she can see the last few IP addresses that have logged onto her gmail account. It'd probably help her find the asshole.
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geiko approved this comment GildaSwoosh was starred GildaSwoosh was unstarred

geiko
08/17/09

@GildaSwoosh: I love that feature so much.
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Kaiser-Machead
08/17/09

@GildaSwoosh: This is why I love gmail.
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Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred

Curves
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
Every day I see more and more reasons to be glad I am not on Facebook.
Reply

Curves was starred Curves was unstarred

SeraphX2
08/17/09

@Curves: ... This has absolutely nothing to do with being on Facebook. Her being on Facebook is not what caused her to have her items stolen.
Do you even think before you type?
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strider_mt2k promoted this comment SeraphX2 was starred SeraphX2 was unstarred

strider_mt2k
08/17/09

@SeraphX2: If she had her stuff stolen and WASN'T on Facebook, the burglar would have to find another way to taunt her.

-so she's spot on and you are a spaz.
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DarthTader
08/17/09

@SeraphX2: That seemed a little harsh. Maybe Curves was implying that she was glad not to be on a social networking site so that some shithead can't mock her.
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FurySamurai72 promoted this comment DarthTader was starred DarthTader was unstarred

triggerx
08/17/09

@SeraphX2: This has "nothing" to do with Facebook? This post is MOSTLY about Facebook. Do you read before you type?
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triggerx was starred triggerx was unstarred

SeraphX2
08/17/09

@triggerx: Yes, the point is that the thief is using Facebook to mock her. However, if the stupid woman hadn't left her passwords wide open, or kept herself logged in, this wouldn't be happening.
The fact that she is on Facebook isn't the problem so you can't say "And here's another reason why Facebook is dumb" or "Here's another reason why I don't have Facebook." Having a Facebook account is not the problem here. It's not like everyone who has had their notebook stolen has had the thief taunt them through their Facebook account. That's my point.
Maybe I should have said this has absolutely nothing to do with having a Facebook Account; better?
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SeraphX2 was starred SeraphX2 was unstarred

DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star.
08/17/09

@SeraphX2: No. It's not better. Curves is one of us, and you suck. There is no amount of back-pedaling that will absolve you. She is entitled to her opinions. You've forfeited the privilege of having us care about yours. Go away.
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Edited by DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star. at 08/17/09 11:30 AM

SeraphX2
08/17/09

@DeusExMach believes you have his stapler: So why exactly have I forfeited anything? Because I don't have a star? A star means nothing, as shown by Curves original comment. Stupid comments are made, even by people with stars.
This one-in-a-million incident is far from a valid reason to not have a Facebook account.
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SeraphX2 was starred SeraphX2 was unstarred

Nimrod_UK
08/17/09

@DeusExMach believes you have his stapler:

Shutup you elitist a**hole. Why don't you go stick your nose up at everybody on some other website. Seraphs opinion matters just as much as Curves and yours.

I do believe however that curves just made a small comment and not a dig at facebook.
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DeusExMach believes you have his stapler promoted this comment MrBangBam : I like bangbamming but... approved this comment Nimrod_UK was starred Nimrod_UK was unstarred

DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star.
08/17/09

@SeraphX2: I agree. I think we all say things without really thinking them through. Your response to Curves' valid point is evidence. Clearly, you didn't think before you type, either. After hitting submit, and cooling down a bit, I felt the same thing, and thought "Gee, that came off as elitist asshole of me. Maybe I should go back and clarify." So, you and I both are guilty of the same offense: the one you wrongly accused Curves of. I'm willing to apologize to you if you're willing to apologize to Curves.

Your move, cupcake.
Reply

Edited by DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star. at 08/17/09 12:29 PM

met2art
08/17/09

@Curves: Well, in this case the thief is a swaggering idiot, and the woman who had her laptop stolen was lazy and she left herself open to being victimized, due to a complete lack of forethought.
While Facebook was the avenue her victimizer chose, that is only because she was ignorant enough to leave the door wide open, with the keys in the lock, no less.
You don't leave a platter of cookies and candy in a room full of kids and expect nothing to happen. All she had to do was take reasonable precautions. There are other ways to track a stolen laptop, and all of them are better than having some illiterate moron taunt you via your own social networking accounts.
Other than that, I see no reason to denounce the medium of social networking. Facebook is not to blame; the woman is for being dumb enough to leave her information available for anyone to access.
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DeusExMach believes you have his stapler promoted this comment met2art was starred met2art was unstarred

Mr_Biggles:Windows 7 was my idea
08/17/09

@DeusExMach believes you have his stapler: well then you would think the best of the best can take a jab. I also sensed a little Facebook Hate in her comment. I don't see why haveing a facebook account makes this anymore worse if anything she could use it to track down the guy so in a sense its a plus. Now that all the bad business is taken care of lets HUG IT OUT BITCH EH EH /Ari gold
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DeusExMach believes you have his stapler promoted this comment

DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star.
08/17/09

@Mr_Biggles: Jeremy Piven is the man, and has been since PCU.
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Curves
08/17/09

@SeraphX2: Geez, I go off line for a few houurs and look what happens. Yes, I do think before I type, and I generally do not use my comments to attack others, but I can make an exception where warrented. I stand by my comment, which CLEARLY says "I". There are those weak individuals in the world who will use their internet persona to try and attack and bully others, and this is why "I" am glad I dont use them. It is a pity those people are so powerless in real life that that feel attacking and bullying others on line in some way enhances their lives and gives them a sense of power they do not otherwise have. On an related note, if you do not wish to read my comments, I invite you to skip over them, as you see fit. It is entirely your choice to read them or not. Have a lovely day.
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Curves was starred Curves was unstarred

SeraphX2
08/17/09

@Curves: How am I supposed to know if it's worthy of reading if I don't read it? And it doesn't matter if you said "I". I still fail to see how your comment holds any relevance.

So what you really meant is that you are glad that you don't have a Facebook account so that you won't get bullied by other people? That doesn't make sense since you can restrict who has access to your page. If your friends are bullying you, I'm not too sure they are friends.

I seriously don't get it. People have let into me for stupid comments and even some of my serious comments, yet I'm not allowed to say how this comment makes no sense and is irrelevant?

If I had said it (seeing as I don't have a star and am not a normal commenter in Gizmodo) I would have been called out for trolling.
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SeraphX2 was starred SeraphX2 was unstarred

Curves
08/17/09

@SeraphX2: My comment is short and says what I mean. I am glad I do not have a Facebook account. That is all. I have not now or at any time said you made stupid comments, and to be honest, I cant recall ever having seen or read any, I dont think I even know you. If you are angry about some issue with Facebook or Giz or the commentors, I urge you to take that to the editors, but since I dont even know you, kindly leave me out of it. Please make it simple and read NOTHING I post, then you are safe. Again, have a lovely day.
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Curves was starred Curves was unstarred

DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star.
08/17/09

@SeraphX2: That's a pretty lousy apology.
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Curves
08/17/09

@DeusExMach believes you have his stapler: and @ everyone else too. No apologies are necessary, he stated his opinion, the same as me, and the war isnt necessary. I stand by my comment regardless of who agrees or not. He has as much right as I do to state how he feels. I dont take it personally, but I appreciate the spirit in which several of you took offense on my behalf. Thank you.

Peace out everyone, its just Facebook, not like we are talking about health care or anything that actually matters.
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Curves was starred Curves was unstarred

SeraphX2
08/17/09

@DeusExMach believes you have his stapler: Where was I apologizing or insinuated that I meant to?
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SeraphX2
08/17/09

@DeusExMach believes you have his stapler: Oh. Deus. Sorry. I missed this comment about apologizing. Sorry, when 50 people are responding to our conversation, sometimes a post is missed. Now I know why you said "not much of an apology".

I agree, and probably shouldn't have put that last sentence in. I apologize to both you and Curves.
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tnt-tek: I'd like some corn nuts
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
Hmmm... A PC with a great deal of my personal information has just been stolen. I think I may have saved the password for some of my accounts in the browser.... Should I change those passwords? Nah, what could happen. It'll be fine...
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triggerx
08/17/09

@tnt-tek: How is she supposed to change her passwords if she doesn't have a computer?
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triggerx was starred triggerx was unstarred

closhedbb
08/17/09

@triggerx: I know it's near impossible to find a solution to this, but here's a few:

Public Library
Friends
Family
Internet cafe
Computer at work

And last but not least, the solution she's probably going to have to resort to anyway...

Buy a new one.
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closhedbb was starred closhedbb was unstarred

triggerx
08/17/09

@closhedbb: Microsoft can follow her to Best Buy and see what she picks out!
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triggerx was starred triggerx was unstarred

closhedbb
08/17/09

@triggerx: She's not a registered actress, so they might not use her...
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DeusExMach believes you have his stapler promoted this comment closhedbb was starred closhedbb was unstarred

DeusExMach wonders what the hell happened to his star.
08/17/09

@closhedbb: logmein.com. It's awesome. Use the shit out of that program.
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frigg
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
Meanwhile, in the Pirate Bay thread, commenters cheer "not that there's anything wrong with illegal downloads. Go free music!"

So why again is someone a low life for stealing a computer and an iPhone, but a hero for stealing music?
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Edited by frigg at 08/17/09 8:38 AM frigg was starred frigg was unstarred

GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
08/17/09

@frigg: How are they "stealing" music, unless they take it from the servers illegally? Did I "steal" Mmmbop from Hanson when I recorded it onto a tape from the radio? Was it illegal to then go down the road blasting Mmmbop at maximum volume in my car?
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freakout
08/17/09

@GitEmSteveDave_DOESHookUp: You didn't steal a song from Hanson - Hanson stole your dignity from you. :P
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Gruv
08/17/09

@GitEmSteveDave_DOESHookUp: It should be.
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GitEmSteveDave_DOESHookUp promoted this comment Gruv was starred Gruv was unstarred

closhedbb
08/17/09

@frigg: Simple. One is theft, and one is copyright infringement.

People use the term "steal" because it's easier, but it's not theft. Still illegal, but different crimes.
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dingus promoted this comment closhedbb was starred closhedbb was unstarred

GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
08/17/09

@Gruv: Well, luckily in an Mmmbop it was gone.
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Danny Allen
08/17/09

@freakout: +10
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Danny Allen was starred Danny Allen was unstarred

triggerx
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
That's HILARIOUS!.... "on my new laptop"... hehe.
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Sea Chicken promoted this comment triggerx was starred triggerx was unstarred

Sea Chicken
08/17/09

@triggerx: Hardly. If it were your things that had been stolen, I doubt you'd be laughing about it.
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Sea Chicken was starred Sea Chicken was unstarred

Eruanno
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
Scenario that SHOULD (and hopefully will) happen:

"And I love my the webcamera on the laptop too. Look, here is where I live. Ain't it cozy. Oh, now there's someone at the door, I wonder who that-AAAHHHHH NO OFFICER I DIDN'T DO ANYTH-OH GOD NOT THE FACE NOT THE FACE...."
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FredicvsMaximvs promoted this comment Eruanno was starred Eruanno was unstarred

rentahero1
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
You'd think with all of the great stuff Facebook stores about you, the IP where the stuff was posted from might be logged.
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Charles Ip
08/17/09

@rentahero1: If she got her iPhone stolen as well, he would be tracked as well.
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AmphetamineCrown promoted this comment Charles Ip was starred Charles Ip was unstarred

AmphetamineCrown
08/17/09

@Charles Ip: Think again. If you are OJ Simpson and just knifed your wife, maybe a cell phone company will triangulate on your location for the cops. You just had your phone stolen, I doubt they would even log the serial number to make sure it doesn't get reactivated on their network by someone else.
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
08/17/09

In reply to Thief Steals Laptop, Taunts Victim Using Her Facebook Account
This would never have happened had she used TrueCrypt on her laptop.

But in a way, it's good this thief is doing this. It will make him easier to catch as he's an idiot.
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
08/06/09

In reply to GadgetTrak Security System Catches iMac Thief With Startling Precision

I know one thing. I would hate for my computer to send out a picture of some strange guy working at my computer.
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Identity (Metric)
08/07/09

@GitEmSteveDave: ♥'sSummermodo: For some reason, you look confused in that pic.
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Identity (Metric) was starred

GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
08/07/09

@My Secret Identity: IIRC, I was attempting to set the time on my Media PC through VNC, and I kept getting a security error b/c my date was "not correct", even though it was. Stupid NTP servers.
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Nick
08/07/09

@GitEmSteveDave_HasAList: the last thing i want to see is proof my lappie is cheating on me. it would break my heart.
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Nick was starred Nick was unstarred

switchblade saints
08/06/09

In reply to GadgetTrak Security System Catches iMac Thief With Startling Precision
bonus ! stolen TV, mixer, keyboard... Man whadda bust that turned out to be.
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switchblade saints was starred

GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
08/06/09

In reply to GadgetTrak Security System Catches iMac Thief With Startling Precision
Tattoo parlor in Brooklyn and dealing with Macs? I have a feeling OMG!Ponies! might be needing a new artist.
Reply

Joe Stoner
08/06/09

In reply to GadgetTrak Security System Catches iMac Thief With Startling Precision
Too bad his face was all blurry, it's going to be tough to identify him. And that map link doesn't work. I will say that the username seems fitting for a guy who looks like that, though.
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92BuickLeSabre promoted this comment Joe Stoner was starred Joe Stoner was unstarred

appletoad
08/06/09

In reply to GadgetTrak Security System Catches iMac Thief With Startling Precision
I never have and don't plan on ever stealing a computer. BUT, the first thing I'd do is remove the battery if its a notebook, then remove the hard drive and reformat from another computer. Then after reinstalling OS etc, spoof MAC address.
Undetectable.

Edit: OR take it to work and have it swapped for a new one at Genius Bar.
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Edited by appletoad at 08/06/09 10:00 PM appletoad was starred appletoad was unstarred

Denver80203
08/06/09

@appletoad: MAC Address is still the same. then the serial number (machine, processor, MOBO, etc etc). won't be long before these sort of features are on a MOBO chip.
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Edited by Denver80203 at 08/06/09 10:37 PM Denver80203 was starred Denver80203 was unstarred

appletoad
08/06/09

@Denver80203: I'd swap the MOBO, you can enter whatever serial you want the the appropriate Apple Internal Software. ;)
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deliciousburglar
08/07/09

@appletoad: i'd swap out the mobo, buy a new keyboard and mouse, along with a new monitor. burn the old hard drive and replace that as well.
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92BuickLeSabre promoted this comment deliciousburglar was starred deliciousburglar was unstarred

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