BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

Darth Vader Toaster: Toast just tastes better on the Dark Side. And by "Dark Side" I mean the side that your toaster burned an image of Darth Vader on. What fan of Star Wars and toast wouldn't love this handy kitchen appliance? $55 [Star Wars Shop via Link]

Bacon Watch:It's not a Rolex, but this watch does keep bacon time better than any other timepiece on the planet. (Hint: it's always bacon time). $25 [Archie McPhee via Link]

Duck Hunt Live: If you know someone who is a fan of the classic NES game, this live-action version of Duck Hunt should prove entertaining in short bursts. Use the infrared gun to kill the flimsy mechanical duck as it flies erratically in the air. Check out our review to see it in action. $30 [Review and Hammacher Schlemmer]

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag: It started out as an April Fool's joke, but some stupid ideas are so stupid that they become brilliant. Case in point—the Tauntaun sleeping bag. It is the must-have camping accessory this holiday season. $100 [Think Geek via Link]

USB Humping Things: Over last few years humping USB drives have been all the rage, and the product line has evolved to include humping USB bunnies and action-crunching, giant wanged, USB Rocky characters. $10 [Think Geek via Link]

A Flying Fuck: Some people hate everyone and everything—making gift giving difficult. This actual working helicopter lets them know who really does give a Flying Fuck. It's you. $42 [Thumbs Up UK via Link]

Fake Gift Boxes: So the previous gifts in this gallery were stupid, but what if you only want your gifts to appear stupid? These fake gift boxes make it seem like you are getting a gravy fountain or a bacon tuxedo, only to find that something completely different is inside. The idea is that even if your real gift isn't great, it still looks awesome compared to what's on the box. Then again, a fountain of gravy might actually be a dream for someone out there, and you just let them down. I hope you're happy. $6 [Archie McPhee; Other versions at ThinkGeek for $15]

DON'T BUY a Snuggie: If there is one product you shouldn't get anyone this year, it's one of those damned Snuggies—especially if it has Street Fighter IV imagery all over it. It's a backwards bathrobe people, and according to our exhaustive laboratory testing, the quality sucks. Save your money: You can get a decent blanket for less than $10 at any discount store. $20 [Link]

Don't forget to recommend your own hilariously stupid geek gift ideas in comments—include pic and pricing if possible.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

I mean, the manual for the ride-on lawnmower did not specifically state that you couldn't raise it up with a crane to trim the top of a very large hedge, so that's just what two lunatics from Cambridge New Zealand did.

"The mower was doing an all-right job, but I reckon it would work better on a hedge that's not so spiky."

Maybe they need one of those Zero-Turn mowers with a larger cutting deck instead of a basic lawn tractor. Yeah, that's the problem with this whole setup. [Stuff NZ via Fark]

Concurrently with the release of the new PS3 system, SCE will modify the PS3 brand name from "PLAYSTATION 3" to "PlayStation 3".

THANK YOU, SONY, FOR STOPPING BEING IDIOTS WITH THE CAPS LOCK.

[There I Fixed It]

This DSLR is tricked out exactly how I imagine a greasy paparazzi would carry a new Canon 5D Mark II as he stalked his celebrity prey. You know, to match heavy necklaces and tooth fixtures.

And look, my Macbook can now carry all the appeal of an old station wagon or the walls of my friend's basement in New Jersey, during high school.

"Yeah Billy, go play in the busy street. Daddy's gonna sit here and watch with his beer. But hey, listen, I might fall asleep so whatever you do, don't talk to strangers...unless they have candy."

Seriously, what the hell happened to parenting? The most humorous thing is that rubber padding is installed under the swing for safety—like that's going to somehow stop a Buick from slamming into your kid. Thankfully, this is only a concept. [Maandag via The Design Blog]

According to the video description, "the Israeli arms firm Rafael displayed this Bollywood dance number-based marketing video at the recently held Aero India 2009 in Bangalore." Our friends at Flight Global say that the Israeli company thought it was a good way to "build familiarity between India and Israel and Rafael."

They can do whatever they want to sell their weapons to any morons who want to buy them, but please SOMEONE GET THAT MUSIC OFF MY HEAD NOW! [Flight Global]

Why oh why people would like to pay for this horror, this pinnacle of bad taste deep fried in 18-carat yellow gold and 160 diamonds, with a huge 6.6-carat diamond as a home button? And why is it called "Kings Button"?

Whoever buys it, please call us, fly us to your palace, and let us slap your face. Then, please invite us to a two year vacation in your yacht and we will forgive you. Maybe. [All Techno Blog]

The $15 Danglet attaches to your iPod or iPhone's dock connector and lets you hold it like a wrist strap. Which is fine if you're just using it as a safeguard (like a Wiimote strap) in case you accidentally drop your iPhone. It's NOT fine if you're flinging it around like the people in the video below.

[CollinsAmerica via TUAW]

Here's the deal. People who do tech proposals are cool because they either program, hack or otherwise customize their proposal FOR the person they're proposing to. They're not cool just because it involves an iPhone. In this case, using someone else's already rigged-up proposal app is the laziest kind of proposal you could give. Why not just text her "wanna get married or somethin'" if you're going this route. [Apple]

Just pick your favorite gadget and do your own version. You can use anything: rocks, paper, plastic, wood, trash, cardboard, Lego... whatever you want. Gizmodo would even give some swag to the winner. You know, like a replica of the underpants I used when I played for Steve, in the presentation of one of the iPods.

Sounds good? Send your photos here.

[Thanks Moe]

No, it's not a joke.

I'm sorry. I know that must hurt, but I couldn't help to laugh. [Break, fail videos from Fail Blog]

• Crowning your 1:25 reproduction of the Statue of Liberty.
• Hold a poker hand.
• Neatly store four dildos and a lube bottle.
• Dock a shaker and four flasks with the ingredients for Perfect Manhattan cocktails.

Which as you can tell, is what I had with my cornflakes this morning. Really, for $59.98, this product is a bargain. [Taylor Gifts via Random Good Stuff]

There are no 14.4Mbps baseband chips commercially available in the market now—much less back when the new 3G iPhone development started
• In fact, there are no HDSPA-based mobile devices of any kind supporting more than 7.2Mbps at this point, and even those are still not common.
• Any 14.4Mbps mobile devices won't hit the market until 2009.
• 24 and 42Mbps mobile devices are, at this point, nothing but a hot fantasy that won't materialize until the next decade.

The 3G baseband chip most likely to be in the iPhone 3G is the Infineon S-Gold 3.
• The iPhone beta firmware code specifically mentions the Infineon S-GOLD 3.
• There have been multiple press and analysts' reports about Infineon getting the contract for the next version, continuing its relationship with Apple—right now the iPhone uses the Infineon S-GOLD 2 as its baseband chip.

The S-GOLD 3 tops at 7.2Mbps.

S-GOLD 3 Multimode - HSDPA, WCDMA, E-GPRS Baseband IC with embedded multimedia functions; launch in the market Q3 2007 HSDPA 7.2Mbps, WCDMA 384kbps class UL/DL & EDGE multislot class 12, including SAIC/DARP support

So yes, the Telstra network may support 14.4mbps devices, but most likely—and unless there were five million supersecret 42Mbps baseband chips that nobody knows about, hidden in an subaquatic lair in the Pacific—the iPhone 3G, already well into production ahead of its June 9 launch, will not support those speeds for a very long time to come.

Maybe the unnamed Telstra senior executive is implying that, next Xmas, Apple will introduce an iPhone with a radically redesigned motherboard using that supersecret baseband chip that nobody knows about right now. Or maybe he's just a clown.

I'll take Kangaroo dung for $500. [Channel News]