We want a "DC vs Marvel: the Springfield Wars" miniseries now. [Springfield Punx, Thanks Oscar]

"If you're not careful, you'll be burning rubber down there," murmured Catwoman, with a derisory nod at his groin. "If you don't shut up, I'll be restringing my tennis racquet with your small intestine," said Batman through gritted teeth.

"I'm intrigued to know what plans you have for my large intestine, darling!" she said with a wink. "Knitting yourself a condom?"

"You, of all people should know that I have no need for those," he replied. "They don't call me the Caped Crusader for nothing." Shifting his hard body so that it was pinning her down to the roof, he freed one hand in order to grab his Batman handcuffs. Immediately, Catwoman saw her chance.

Twisting her back, she managed to free a paw from her opponent's grasp and, with a swish of air, raked a claw down his cheek.

With a roar, Batman squeezed her prostrate figure between his manly thighs. "You promised you wouldn't touch my face, you bitch! I've got to give one of those after-dinner speeches to the Hoboken Round Table tonight, and I'll never hear the end of it."

"Meow!" said Catwoman. "I love it when you get angry with me. Come on then, get the cuffs on and get on with it, as we don't have much time. What time does dinner start?"

As Batman fiddled with the lock of the cuffs, his sexy partner did a double-take. "What the hell are those? Where are your bat-cuffs?" she shrieked. Batman looked embarrassed. "I lost them. Someone must have swiped them off my belt when we went to see Iron Man last weekend."

"You're such a fake," she spat. "Get off me, I can't bear you to touch me. Replica cuffs my ass."

Batman's lower lip quivered. "Aw, CW, don't be like that, please. Please! They're from JLA Trophy Room, and they look just like the real thing. I mean, they're not bad—they've got a bat-shaped key, and they look good on my belt, and they only cost me $136. And I'm the only person with them, as they're not out until next year. Can't you just play along with the fantasy a little bit?"

"Too late, Batty-boy," came the reply. "I don't do rip-offs." With a resigned shrug, Batman released her and watched her go, her tail swishing angrily behind her. [Entertainment Earth via Geek Alerts]

And I can't be more grateful for that decision. I don't know about you, but the idea of having these strange (anti)heroes walking around a "real" 1985's New York, Ozymandias's massive Karnak, Mason's garage, Dr. Manhattan's nuclear lab, the Comedian's tacky bachelor's pad, and Rorschach's jail—all full of the retro gadgets, technology and the dirt of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' comicbook masterpiece— has me excited.

If the movie is as good as his take on Frank Miller's 300, Snyder's Watchmen is going to be one for the books. [Watchmen via Superherohype]

Well, either Batman or some sort of conspicuous ninja with a yellow logo on his chest. Either way, bad ASS, and will come out next season. – Jason Chen

Batman Hoodie Leaked [via Boing Boing]

Hot on the heels (did you see what I just did there?) of the Optimus Prime helmet comes a pair of trainers from Nike. The colorway of silver*, red patent, blue and yellow just shrieks Optimus, dahlinks, and will transform (oh, look, I've done it again) the wearer into a bona-fide beetle-crushing superhero. The movie is out on July 4, but no news on the shoes' release date. Now all you need do is dig out your Transformer Y-fronts from Sixth Grade. More pictures after the jump.

– Ad Dugdale

*They look beige to me. Whoever heard of a beige-clad superhero? Blandman, perhaps.

Nike Air Trainer III, More Than Meets The Eye [UberReview]