It's not that people think holy water cures the dreaded pig disease (although I'm sure some do), it's that when everyone kept sharing from the same big basin of holy water, it turned into a holy cesspool. This is much more sanitary. And you know what they say about cleanliness and godliness and all that. [Telegraph via Boing Boing]

The search engine has collaborated with the U.S. Department for Health and Human Services to add a Google Maps' service that will locate the nearest seasonal and H1N1 flu vaccine programs. Just go to this site and enter your city or postal code. Google says that the project has just started, so there are still locations with no information:

At the moment we have data for locations of flu vaccine directly from 20 states and counting. We are also continuing to add information from chain pharmacies and other providers in all 50 states; today, you'll find results from chains such as Walgreens, CVS and PDX participants, such as Kmart, Duane Reade, WinnDixie and Giant Eagle.

After reading about the many problems with the vaccine in countries like Sweden—where they have top notch healthcare—I think I will pass on this round, thank you very much.

Harvard Medical School has just released HMSMobile Swine Flu Center, a $1.99 app that offers all sorts of stuff that doesn't quite seem worth $1.99. This includes:

-Videos on how to protect yourself (spoiler: wash your hands)

-A quiz on whether or not you have swine flu (spoiler: you don't)

-An outbreak tracker to see if the fever has swept through your area

-Advice about survival kits, just in case shit gets really fucking serious

Combine this with the Pedophile Finder app and the HealthMap app and you'll scare yourself into never leaving the house. Awesome? [HMSMobile Swine Flue Center]

The bad part is that 0.01% that it doesn't kill gets to breed and breed and become superbugs—but that's something for our kids to worry about. You can buy your own Vioguard for $900 up in Canada's version of Amazon.com, and if you're the kind of person in charge of a large number of computers, like a University's computer lab, you owe it to your users to try and pass this off in the next budget meeting. [Businesswire via Engadget]

It does this by being coated with titanium dioxide, which apparently reacts to light and kills the virus when it comes in contact with it. Unfortunately, you don't get the flu through your torso, you get it through your mucus membranes such as your nose and mouth. And unless you plan on wearing the suit jacket over your face, I'm not sure how much good it'll do you.

But hey, at least it'll give you peace of mind, right? And when we're battling a flu strain that appears to be just about as dangerous as the normal flu, but from goddamned pigs, we've got to take extreme measures. [Telegraph]

To be completely honest, I was terrified when I first opened this app up. I did not need to discover yet another scary thing about my state. Thankfully, it looks like Florida is fairly free from outbreaks of infectious diseases.

From playing around with the app though, I'm given the impression that neither Florida nor any other place will appear infection free for long because of the outbreak report function. Let's face it, given the fact that there's an option to report Sexually Transmitted Infections and that the report is quick and easy to submit is practically inviting people to report their former significant others' homes as outbreak sites. [HealthMap via Boston]

See, while the Swine Flu may have not been as bad as originally thought, the fact is that it's better to be overly protective than sorry. Or at least, that's what governments think.

It's just like anti-terrorist airport controls. These were increased to stupid levels after September 11 with measures like arbitrary limits on liquids, "Please Remove Laptop From Bag" rules, and the now-classic "Please Remove Your Shoes and Coat"—measures that only add hassle without actually increasing security. Not only they have been bypassed and rendered useless in countless occasions, but there are dozens of security breakpoints around airports everywhere that can be used by the bad guys to do bad things, even now.

We got those measures and everyone gladly accepted them, getting back to sleep into this false dream of total safety, all thanks to this daily airport security show and tell. The machines above can tell if your body temperature is going up, but many contagious diseases don't cause serious symptoms early enough to stop the spreading.

The same will happen with medical controls. Thermal scanners and cybersniffers capable of detecting viruses and germs designed to do the same thing: Give everyone a false sense of health safety.

It will be false because, until the technology is truly omniscient and really can detect the tiniest amount of any virus in any stage of development, the barrier will never be real. And even then, there will be other entry points for the virus. You just can put barriers in the air. You can try to contain, but at the end is a battle we are going to lose. At least for the time being.

Right now the fact is that, no matter how many controls we put in airports, if there's a real outbreak of something really really nasty, with no cure whatsoever, we are fucked. Big time.

In the meantime, we will all get to re-enact that airport checkpoint scene from Total Recall every time we go on a trip. I can't wait. [Boston.com]

If there is one bright spot in this whole Swine Flu mess, it's that bacon is not affected. Whew! And I thought I might have to curb my intake. Actually, I might eat more now out of spite.

In Mexico everyone is wearing masks. People are getting bored of wearing the same thing, so they have started to decorate them in all kinds of styles. As you can see, many of them show their always ironic look at death and fascination with los muertos.

My favorites, however, are the colorful masks designed by Japanese artist Yoriko Yoshida. Visit Yoriko's page for more designs. [Yoriko Yashida via Pink Tentacle and Daily Telegraph]

In case you have not been paying attention to the news during the last few days, there's a pandemia going on. A spike of infections of the H1N1 Swine Flu—a mutation of a pork virus that jumped from pigs to humans—happened in the city of Mexico (103 dead already) and it is quickly spreading through the world now, thanks to airline connections.

Reading the map is very simple: We are all going to dieThe pink markers are suspect, the purple markers are confirmed, and deaths don't have a black dot in the marker. The yellow markers are negative, but I don't see any.

Have fun watching. While you can (added another map, which is getting updated faster.)

View 2009 H1N1 Flu Outbreak Map in a larger map

View H1N1 Swine Flu in a larger map

P.S. Stupid Apophis can't reach us in time! Hahahaha. Ha. But it looks like pigs are getting their revenge for all these centuries of crispy bacon and pork buns. [Google Maps]

Bonus post soundtrack: