This 99 cent app has only a blank screen and one objective: Tap your screen one million times. Stupid, you say? Madness? Who is going to spend a dollar in something as absurd as this? Apparently, plenty of people. Not only that, but there's even a worldwide high score table which I simply refuse to believe. I'm sorry, but I just don't even want to think about the possibility of someone spending almost three days of their life tapping 844,683 times. My faith in Humanity is pretty damaged as it is. [Krapps]

The Portable Tap Dispenser also has a cupholder so you can more fully cement your reputation as the Beer God of the Party. We're not sure exactly what the bag's capacity is, but it looks plenty big enough to get you a cheer when you walk into a get-together, provided you can serve the beer before it gets flat. It's available now for about $35. [Fun Ideas via Crunchgear]

This idea is fascinating, and I'd love to see it mature beyond the research stages, but Microsoft needs to be aware of something: it seems nearly impossible to write about this without sounding like you're penning erotic fiction. Take PCMag's sultry writeup:

In both tapping and rubbing, a voice coil, such as one found in a standard 3.5-inch hard disk drive, was used. To "rub," a long arm was mounted on the actuator, so that the arm would "swing" through a 30 degree angle or so. A nub was then mounted orthogonally to the arm, so the rubbing could be felt on the bottom of a user's palm as he rested it on the frame. Tapping was much simpler: all the users needed to do was to mount a "hammer" onto the head, so that its movement created a tapping sensation.

...

In a series of small tests, users were asked to experience a series of taps and rubs, and to determine which of a pair was strongest, and then which of a series was the hardest or fastest. The group was also asked to determine which taps or rubs felt the most natural.

The researchers determined that the softer taps felt more natural, while faster taps blurred into vibration. Interestingly, the "rubbing" technique that the researchers used couldn't actually generate enough pressure to feel natural.

Whoa, take it easy there, PCMag guy. This is just a research paper he's talking about — I don't even want to imagine what the first review of an actual product with this tech will sound like. [PCMag]