Last year Whitehall, NY resident Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr was arrested and charged with felony DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle for driving a Cruzin' Cooler while intoxicated. Who could have seen that coming? [Link]
18-year-old James N. P. Miller, of Cincinnati passed into ironic infamy this past Halloween when he was busted for DWI while wearing a breathalyzer costume. [Link]
Big Brother is always watching, and if you happen to be ridiculously drunk while you stumble into a convenience store, chances are the video of the incident is going to spread across the internet like wildfire.
Take note: your ability to evade the police in your car diminishes greatly when you are intoxicated. Case in point, the 18-year old girl in Jackson, Michigan that was chased down and busted by a cop on a Segway. [Link]
Like I said earlier, Big Brother is always watching. And there isn't a better candidate for the role of Big Brother than Google. If you happen to be an Australian man passed out drunk on your lawn, the StreetView car will be waiting, ready to pounce. [Link]
Excessive drinking impairs judgement and can result in mood swings. Take 22-year old David Robinson for example. Last month he was charged in Perth, Scotland with breaching the peace after he threatened passersby and challenged a lamp post to a fight. [STV]
Be careful where you pass out. Crawling into an industrial garbage bin is not recommended, as Brighton UK resident Scott Williams found out one fateful July morning when the contents of the bin were crushed by a garbage truck. [Link]
Be careful of who you pass out around. Not only did 19-year old Huang Chen wake up with a hangover and a severe case of butt remote, he also learned that his friends are dicks. [Link]

This stunning home is embedded in a hill in Vals, Switzerland, but it still has some amazing views. Seriously, you could just grab a chair, a beer and look at it all day. Hit the link to see what I mean. [Iwann Baan via Link]
If there ever was a house that lived up to the name "Universe," this space in Roca Blanca, Mexico would do it. The design is based on the Jantar Mantar Astronomical Observatory, which was built in Jaipur, in 1724. The home has 360 degree open air views of the ocean with swimming pools and hammocks. In short, everything you could ever want in a place to relax. [Link]
If you had a treehouse when you were a kid, you probably considered it as your own private sanctuary. Imagine what it would be like to have a treehouse that is 11 stories tall, with dozens of rooms for you to run away and hide in. [Link]
Spending a few nights in a hotel is a great way to escape from our miserable lives, but the Winvian in Connecticut is more exciting than most. It features themed rooms that would be so much fun you would have little reason to go out during the day. There are golf rooms with putting greens, a treehouse cottage, a music room with playable architecture and even a helicopter room with an actual Coast Guard chopper inside. [Winvian]
As much as I can't stand the Cowboys, I have to admit that their ridiculously over-the-top stadium is probably the best place to watch a game on the face of the Earth. Super field-level luxury boxes, a mind blowing assortment of concessions and a HDTV that measures 159 feet across. If you were Joey Fatone's brother, you would have even had the privilege of playing Gears of War 2 on that gigantic screen. Of course, that would mean you would actually have to endure the shame of being related to Joey Fatone.
There should be a crime against spending $2 billion dollars on a private home, but I'm sure you could have a lot of fun hanging out in Mukesh Ambani's pad. Needless to say, this 22-story monstrosity has every kind of entertainment and relaxation facility you could imagine...and then some. [Link]
Prison may not be the most desirable place to be, unless you happen to be staying at the Leoben Justice Centre in Austria. Seriously, take a look at the pics in the following link. It looks more like a resort than a correctional facility. [Damn Cool Pics and Link]
Electronic House's Home of the Year for 2009 is short on taste, but high on gadgets. If you were hanging out here, you would be treated to beautiful views, the latest in home automation, racing simulators and an absurd amount of home theater equipment. [Electronic House via Link]
This list contains some extreme homes, but Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich's yacht takes excess to the high seas with a price tag rumored to have cost in the billions. While on board, you would be treated to every kind of luxury imaginable—and you wouldn't have to worry about intrusion because the yacht is fitted with a missile defense system and anti-paparazzi laser shield.
What if one of the best places to kick back and relax was your office at work? Google has taken that approach with the design of their Swiss headquarters. It features cozy seating, pool tables, foosball and a top notch lounge. [Link]

If you have a problem with you TV, like a certain 70-year old Missouri man did with his converter box during the DTV transition, DO NOT get loaded, shoot it and engage in a standoff with the police. [Link]
If you work in a tech-related retail store, DO NOT do what 29 year old Aaron Seiber did and stab yourself so you don't have to go. Making up a phony story about a skinhead attack to the police doesn't help matters either. [Link]
If you have trouble getting up the stairs, escalators are a real lifesaver. However, DO NOT use one like the man in this video.
If your phone dies, DO NOT take it to get fixed and threaten to shoot it in the store with the 9mm concealed in your jacket. There are no cellphones in prison—unless you have a really good hiding place (and there is only one really good hiding place). [Link]
If you have a tall hedge, and no gadget designed to trim it, DO NOT raise your ride-on mower up with a crane to do the job like this lunatic from New Zealand. [Link]
So you have bought a new phone and you are not sure what to do with your old one. Unless is is complete garbage, DO NOT smash it. Get some money for it or donate it to charity. If you want an iPhone to smash, there are cheaper ways to do it. [Link]
If your kid acts up in a Verizon store, DO NOT drag him around on the floor with a leash. Someone with a cameraphone is bound to make a video of the whole incident and share it with the police.
If your internet connection goes down while playing an online game, DO NOT vent your frustrations by grabbing a knife and stabbing the first 15-year old girl that walks down the street near your home. You could wind up in a mental hospital with pending manslaughter charges. [Link]

For the most part, do you consider these digital upgrades as good or bad ideas?

Nikola Tesla's Spirit Radio is built with a simple crystal radio circuit, but it has the ability to generate spooky sounds from all kinds of electromagnetic interference. Some, like Tesla himself, believed that it had the power to pick up on supernatural forces. It actually creeped him out:

"My first observations positively terrified me as there was present in them something mysterious, not to say supernatural, and I was alone in my laboratory at night."
- Nikola Tesla 1901

Hit the folowing link to learn how to build one yourself. [Instructables via Link]
Cameras with infrared night vision are often used in ghost hunting to detect hot spots in darkened rooms. The Vivitar DVR 150 includes this capability in a convenient pocket-sized form. [Vivitar via Link]
In addition to looking for hot spots, ghost hunters almost always employ some sort of EMF meter to detect sharp fluctuations in the surrounding magnetic field—supposedly a sign of a ghostly presence. Oh hey, Amazon is selling a two pack Gauss Master and K-II Deluxe EMF meter set for $85! How convenient. [Amazon]
If you can't capture a real ghost on film, you can always turn to the Ghost Finder disposable camera. It inserts an ghostly image in every photo you take—saving you time and effort with Photoshop. It's all of the fraud without all of the work. [FindGift]
Not only does this keychain claim to detect ghosts, it also has a "safe mode" that can be used to shield your body from becoming possessed. [Strapya]
Contact the spirit of the internets with this specialized ouija board t-shirt. Just place a wireless mouse on your chest and let the spirits guide you to the next big internet meme. [Wildilocks]
Dowsing or "divining" rods have been used for thousands of years as part of religious ceremony or to ascertain the location of water or precious metals. Some modern investigators still believe that these simple rods can be used to detect the presence of ghosts. [Divining Mind]
Trisaksri was a short-lived ghost repellent concept that would detect ghosts in the home with a low level magnetic field and a camera. Once discovered, the unit would emit a "Wave Killer" Radio wave blast to eliminate any unwanted, otherworldly intruders. [Link]

The design of the Gyrofocus fireplace may be 40 years old, but it was still striking enough to be voted the "world's most beautiful object" at this year's Pulchra design competition. [Focus Creation via Link]
The Conmoto suitcase fireplace allows you to bring warmth and ambiance wherever you go (the casing is weather resistant so even the outdoors isn't off limits). Conmoto is fueled by a small tank of bio-ethanol that burns for 2.5 to 3.5 hours. [Unica Home via Link]
A fire pit built-in to your coffee table gives city folk all of the benefits of a campfire without actually having to venture out into the wilderness. I'm thinking s'mores. [Opulent Items]
The Lumos is more than an outdoor fireplace, it's also a grill. Keep the chimney up and you have ambiance, flip it down and you have delicious meat cooking over charcoal. In other words, it warms you up inside and out. [Leenders via Link]
If NASA ever designed a portable fireplace (or a urinal), it might look something like the Piet. [Cavallius Design via Link]
The fireplace should be the focal point of the room, and the Skloib TV Drehturm allows you to stay true to that philosophy without compromising on the placement of your television. [Skloib via Link]
I have always wanted a wood-fired pizza oven in my backyard, but not quite enough to commit the time and expense to building one myself. If you are willing, Forno Bravo has provided info on how to build an oven like the one pictured here. [Forno Bravo via Flickr via Link]
High pressure propane burners like this one are often associated with frying turkeys, but the truth is you can cook a lot of awesome stuff with it. I would suspect that a high percentage of people (like me) use these to homebrew 5 gallon batches of all-grain beer. [Amazon]
These gigantic bear claw matches are as close as you will get to a guarantee on lighting a fire. The built-in kindling is a big plus, although the colorful, crayon-esque heads could be an invitation for your children to embark on an artistic disaster. [KM Match via Link]
The Wicked Torch is kind of like a cross between a flashlight, a lighter and a stove. At 4100 lumens, it is the brightest flashlight on the face of the earth according to Guinness. It's also hot enough to burn paper, light cigarettes and cook eggs.

If you are serious about staying off your feet on the weekends, you are going to need a serious home automation system. And they don't get much more serious than TrueImage Control from Savant. Unlike traditional systems, TrueImage simplifies your interface by allowing you to interact with actual photos of individual rooms instead of confusing menus:

Savant's TrueImage technology gives you fingertip control via a simple tap on a wide angle image of each room in your home. Each touch allows you to dim and turn on/off lights, lower or raise shades, even turn on/off your audio and video components. Instead of interacting with confusing icons, TrueImage allows you to simply touch the actual light or shade in that room. Not only does the light in the room turn on or dim (if you press and hold the represented light), but it also illuminates on the touch panel confirming your command.

[Savant via Link]

Wheelchairs are one thing, but nothing blends man, machine, lazy and nerdy like The Hubo FX-1 chairbot. Hit the link to see it in action. [Link]

Maybe you are too lazy to get up, maybe you are too drunk, either way those beers aren't going to get themselves. Fortunately for you, it only takes a little effort with the control pad on the RC Cooler to transport ice cold beverages wherever they are needed. [Firebox via Link]
Dogs are great, but instead of playing with them, maybe you want to spend the weekend sitting on your ass drinking beer out of a remote controlled cooler. This Automatic tennis ball fetch machine would allow you to do both. [Hammacher Schlemmer]
It's Sunday, the game is on, and you are far too comfortable to get up and go all the way to the bathroom. If you are not quite ready for an adult diaper, there are several handheld toilet designs on the market that would eliminate at least half of your problem. [Biorelief]
You're sitting down and seconds are all the way over there. A fork with a telescopic handle will help you get more food without getting up. [Prank Place]
Your cellphone is ringing, but it's just out of reach. Neodymium magnets, some of the most powerful made today, could help you bridge the gap. Of course, your kitchen sink might come along with it. Oh, and it can also chop your fingers off (NSFW).

German designer Stefan Ulrich's Funktionide is like a body pillow best friend (or lover as this video suggests).

Based on EAP-technology "Funktionide" is a concept for an emotional robot that substitutes human contact. In a future where technology will play a huge part in our lives it is very likely that some day it will shift from satisfying our basic functional needs to include our emotional needs as well.

Can a man love a blob made from plastics? Rosanne Barr was married more than once, so I suppose anything can happen. [Project Page]
Let's say you actually have a flesh and blood "girlfriend," but you met on the internet, she has never seen a real picture of you and she barely speaks English. Mutsugoto can break down all of those physical and geographic barriers to create a genuine intimate experience with light.

the device was designed to communicate intimacy and to offer an alternative to text and e-mail messaging. While lying on their beds miles away from each other, the couples wear touch-activated rings visible to a camera mounted above them. A computer vision system tracks the movement of the ring as one of the device's users passes it across their own body, or bed. At the same time these strokes are transmitted to and projected in beams of light on the body of their partner. The lines change color if they cross.

Plus, this way she won't feel how fat you are.
Experience Twitter on a more personal, emotional level with this DIY Guardian robot.

Meet the Guardian Robot: This friendly little fellow stands on your desk and monitors your Twitter feed for "happy" and "sad" posts by your friends on your Twitter feed. But unlike conventional alert systems, this robot encourages you to interact with the posts it finds.

For example, when it finds a "happy" post, the Guardian Robot raises its head and arm in triumph. It holds the pose until you give it a "high five" by pushing the switch in its raised hand. Once you do that, the robot pass the high five on to your buddy via a reply Tweet.

Likewise, when the Guardian Robot comes across a sad Tweet, it lowers its head in despair. You cheer it up by giving it a hug, which it will forward on with another reply Tweet.

[Link]
Lonely people often turn to pets to fill the void, but not everyone is cut out for the responsibility. Perfect Petzzz offer a solution with a robot that looks and breathes like a real dog or cat during a slumber that is interrupted only by an on/off switch or the death of a D battery. It's all of the fun of owning a dog that's in a coma without all of the hassle. [Perfect Petzzz via Link]
Tired of coming home to an empty house every night? The Expected Curtain makes it appear from the outside as though you have several friends just hanging out in your home, enjoying a motionless staring contest for hours and hours on end. [Link]
One of the saddest products on this list has to be the girlfriend pillow. But look at the guy in the photo—he seems content with a soft, uni-breasted torso. Plus he has the option of picking up a lap pillow for more intimate moments. Also available in a boyfriend version.
Thanks to 64 strategically located actuators, this jacket from Philips reacts with scenes from movies—heightening your emotional reaction. For example, it might hug you repeatedly during a Lifetime movie or pulse like a heartbeat during a tense scene in a horror flick. [Link]

It seems like economy seats on airplanes are made for Hobbits. If only I was riding first class on a Swiss International flight. The new cabins on their A330 fleet make it seem like you are siting in a cafe or restaurant. [Link]
Needless to say, bringing gadgets on planes is a pain in the ass these days. TSA "checkpoint friendly" bags make it easier for security to check the contents of your bag which, in turn, helps you zip through faster. [Mobile Edge via Link]
Want a new iPod or digital camera for your trip? Gadget vending machines like this one from Best Buy can help you pass the time at airports. Maybe you want to use this opportunity to diversify your portfolio and invest in gold? No problem—there are airport vending machines for that too.
I have trouble sleeping on airplanes (see earlier reference to airplane Hobbit seats) and I don't mind looking like an idiot for a few hours if it means getting a little extra rest. Enter the Nap Cap. It keeps your head from swaying side to side during the flight, making conditions more comfortable for sleeping. Of course, you will probably end up leaning forward, mouth wide open, drooling in your lap. [Vacation Gadgets via Link]
Several major airports in the US have begun using cellphone boarding passes to help save passengers time. Unfortunately, my airport isn't one of them. [Link]
Even if you can't have fancy seats like the ones featured earlier on this list, you can still spice things up with these PlaneSheets slipcovers. Choose from options like "Leopard" and "Camo." Oh yes, you may be in coach but your style is first class all the way. Plus, the slipcovers help separate you from any germs and other nastyness that might be lurking on your seat. [PlaneSheets]
I'll be traveling on Sunday, so it will be the perfect opportunity to use my Supercast Mobile iPhone app to catch some games. If you are a DirecTV Supercast subscriber, you can watch every Sunday Ticket game, as well as check out scores, highlights and stats from your phone. It even streams over 3G (and it's free). [iTunes]

Lighting a charcoal grill is a pain in the ass—pure and simple. A chimney works well, but this hot air starter works faster (60 seconds to be exact). The device doesn't use lighter fluid, instead it heats up air to 1,290 degrees Fahrenheit. If 60 seconds isn't fast enough for you, there are other, considerably more dangerous alternatives. [Hammacher via Link]
Nobody wants to wait for a bottle of wine or beer to chill properly, which is why gadgets exist to expedite the process. The Cooper Cooler claims to chill beverages 90 times faster than a refrigerator. That means a bottle of room temperature white wine will chill to 43 degrees in less than six minutes. A bottle of beer or soda will be ice cold inside a minute. [Wine Enthusiast]
If you don't like waiting for programs to load enough to drop tens of thousands of dollars on a SSD, look no further than Fusion-io's ioDrive Duo. It's the fastest storage drive on the planet with insane 1.5GB per second sustained read speeds and 1.4GB per second sustained write speeds. [Fusion-io via Link]
Dead batteries aren't something you want to mess around with when you really need a flashlight. The 5.11 Tactical series UC3.400 LED can shine at a super-bright 90 lumens for 90 minutes on a charge that only takes 90 seconds. [5.11 Tactical via Link]
Manually loading pictures and video to your desktop and/or various social networking sites is a waste of time. Eye-Fi's line of wireless SD cards cut out the middleman by automatically delivering media to the computers and websites you specify over a Wi-Fi connection. [Eye-Fi]
The Taipei 101 skyscraper has 101 floors above ground and 5 floors below. Needless to say, you are going to need a pretty fast elevator in order to avoid standing in a cramped space for an extended period of time. It just so happens that the Taipei 101 has the world's fastest elevator—capable of traveling between floors at 37.7 mph. Hit the following link to see just how fast that really is. [Link]
Even if you could satisfy a woman, chances are it would take considerably more time and physical effort than you are able to spend. Fortunately, Suart Meloy has himself a real-life orgasmitron. The implant is attached to the nerves in your spine responsible for sexual pleasure. Simply clicking on a remote control should result in near instant orgasms for both men and women. [io9 via Link]

Who the hell wants to clean their gutters? Thanks to iRobot you don't have to deal with the gross sludge that's so hard to clean out. The Looj dislodges dirt and brushes your gutters squeaky clean via remote control. [iRobot via Link]
After scrubbing the toilet, even a Lysol bath won't make you feel clean again. Toto's Neorest robo-toilets do the dirty work for you by summoning up a water cyclone that breaks up anything that might stick to the inside of the bowl. [Toto via Link]
Gas station handles are a breeding ground for bacteria. Thankfully, the Dutch have come up with a robot that pumps gas for you. [Link]
Cleaning bathrooms is bad enough, but imagine what it would be like at a highway rest area (or a Walmart for that matter)? The Japanese have come up with a robot that goes where humans fear to tread. Dubbed "Ladybird", this autonomous robot happily scrubs down the area and even engages in awkward and surreal conversations with patrons. Indeed, if you ever travel to Japan you could find yourself holding your junk and asking a giant ladybug for the latest weather conditions. [Pink Tentacle]
We all love our pets, but washing them is a different story. That's why automatic pet washing machines are becoming more popular for hosing down and traumatizing your pooch. [Hacked Gadgets]
Babies in diapers are bad enough, but adults in diapers are a whole other headache. That's why engineers are hard at work developing robots that can take over some of the traditional responsibilities of a nurse. uBOT-5 can check vitals, dial 911 and help patients interact directly with their doctors via webcam. Other robots have been developed to deliver medication and even carry you around in exceedingly creepy ways.
Like a Roomba for the great outdoors, the Dustbot vacuums the street and collects garbage on in areas where trucks can't reach. It even makes housecalls via text message. [Dustbot]
Robot sex dolls. Seriously, what real woman would have you? In the not so distant future, having sex with robots might be more common than you would expect. Progress is already being made in the form of Andy here—she takes one for the team with features a lifelike exterior, internal heating element, a beating heart that responds to increased "activity" and remote controlled hip wiggling. Just keep your fingers cross that real AI doesn't happen in your lifetime. It will be a sad day when you are rejected by humans and robots. [The Register]

Believe it or not, there are several European spas/breweries that will help you wash away stress in a bath of beer. Starkenberg brewery in Tarrenz, Austria even goes so far as to fill up an entire pool with barrels of its own Pilsner. The experience will set you back around $200, but you could always save a little money and drink junk-steeped suds at home by filling up your bathtub with Miller Lite. [Starkenberger and NYT]

If you really want to get away over the Labor Day weekend, Aerion is the only private jet that will get you there at supersonic speeds. The only problem is that you will have to make reservations for Labor Day 2014—and have pockets deep enough to foot the $80 million bill. [Link]

Why travel when you have a $6 million theater right in your own home? Apparently that's what Jeremy Kipnis was thinking when he built this ridiculous setup complete with 8.8 channels of surround sound, 16 subwoofers and video resolution four times better than 1080p. Seats three. [Kipnis via Link]

Spending your extended weekend playing video games is one thing, but spending it playing around in a homemade 747 flight simulator is quite another. Flight enthusiast Matthew Sheil was able to build a sim that rivals a $40 million training version for "only" $200,000. [Link]

If clubbing is your thing, you might want to swing by this 200-square-foot discotheque, located in somebody's house. At the push of a button, users can open a hatch in the ceiling that contains a disco lighting and JBL speaker system. The remote also controls that 15,000-gallon aquarium, filled with catches from the Atlantic Coast. [Electronic House]

Why go to the waterpark and wait in line with all those punk kids? For the show Prototype This on the Discovery Channel, a team of engineers built a waterslide simulator that rotates and tilts to mimic the twists and turns of the real thing. Not only might you be able to fit one of these in your own backyard, the ride is much longer than the real thing. Only downside? No splashdown. [Discovery]

I can pretty much guarantee that Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich is going to have a great long weekend, thanks to his $350 million mega-yacht. In addition to the pools, restaurants and theaters you might expect, Abramovich's yacht also features a missile defense system, underwater submarine entrance and two heli-pads. I'll be thinking about this over my weekend as I sit outside in a frog-shaped kiddie pool with a six pack. [Link]

Dwindling natural resources? F*ck that! I want to be traveling in style aboard a cruise ship on wheels, otherwise known as the Vario Perfect Platinum RV. Needless to say, the inside is pure luxury and entertainment, everything but the hydraulic-operated car garage, that is. [Vario via Born Rich]

Chris Rokos, a 36-year-old hedge-fund tycoon is spending nearly $62 million to turn a run-down, 17,000-sq-ft hotel into his own private resort. It will have everything from a cinema to a climbing wall—but the most amazing feature is going to be the 16-foot-deep diving pool in the basement. Pool party at Chris' house! [Daily Mail]

Staying in a luxury hotel is great, but if you want more than just room service you stay at the Winvian in Connecticut. It takes themed rooms to the extreme: There's a treehouse cottage up in a tree, a beaver lodge with a real dam, a golf cottage with "undulating floors" for putting, a music room that features "playable" architecture. The helicopter room has an actual Coast Guard chopper. [Winvian Image via Boston]

Mmmm...a whole chicken in a can. God, it looks like it was just birthed out of an aluminum womb. [Link]
Somehow, the idea of canned bread dough seems palatable while cooked and canned bread seems weird. This is especially true if the can is covered in anime characters and dispensed out of a vending machine. [Tokyo Times]
Hot dogs are scary enough without stewing in their own gross juices for years on end. [Food Network Humor]
There is something unsettling about bacon being stuffed inside a can for 10 years. [Link]
I'm not a big fan of canned meat in general—and the marketing department at Heinz isn't helping matters. [Food Network Humor]
Ahh, the infamous canburger. If you were ever curious about what this might taste like, wonder no more.
Ugh, anyone for some soggy hot wings? [Food Network Humor]
Okay, I understand that there is a stigma associated with putting wine in containers other than a corked bottle—but canning it like a soda is just weird. [Wine In a Can]
Bonus: Who doesn't love a good Manhattan Style Fish Asshole? A joke obviously, but it sounds about as appetizing as the other stuff on this list. [Gunaxin]

That's right folks, pressing on this resistance gadget for just minutes a day will miraculously redefine your bone structure to build a chin where there was no chin before. [Neckline Slimmer]
Amazingly enough, people continue to be duped by the Flowbee vacuum hair cutting system some 20 odd years after its initial release. [Flowbee]
If you have ever seen vintage footage of some flabby flapper girl strapped on a vibrating belt machine, you already have a pretty good grasp of the Hawaii Chair. A 2800 rpm motor rotates the chair seat to simulate a Hula motion with the hips. Theoretically, this will help to slim down your waistline while you sit on your ass doing nothing. [Hawaii Chair]
Are you tired of rolling meat into little round balls? Sweet baby Jesus...yes, YES I AM! If only there was some sort of magic press that would allow me to make uniform-sized meatballs in only 4 steps. [Best of As Seen On TV]
Ironically, the Amish are probably the only group of people in the world that would need a gadget that melts down the tops of old candles to expose the wick. [Taylor Gifts via Link]
Just because you don't have a problem walking around looking like a monk doesn't mean your dog feels the same way. [Snuggie for Dogs]
It's a jump rope...without the rope! One easy payment of $29.99 plus SH gets you the Cardio Jump workout system. But wait, there's more! For a limited time, we will throw in a 1-page instructional leaflet teaching you how to jump in place absolutely free!
Last but not least, I give you the infamous Tiddy Bear: the most absurd product ever promoted on television. It's supposed to be a cute and cuddly way to prevent seat belts from digging into the skin—but it ends up being an endless source of "tiddy" jokes. [Tiddy Bear]

The WASP knife is more compact and versatile than a spear gun or rifle, but it just might be even more deadly. Should you find yourself in the company of an aggressive shark, a stab from this knife will inject compressed gas into the victim which will expand, freeze and explode internal organs. [Link]
For years, surfers have sworn by the Shark Shield as an effective method of deterring sharks. The unit attaches to a surfboard and supposedly emits low grade electrical signals that screw with a shark's muscles. However, in at least one case, the effectiveness of the device has come into serious question. [Shark Shield via Link]
One of the latest methods of repelling sharks comes in the form of these alloy ingots. Specifically designed to protect sharks from being killed by fishing gear, this alloy emits a mild electric current when exposed to salt water. After a few days, the metal will transform into a harmless white precipate that will fall to the ocean floor. Nothing is 100% effective, but fisherman claim that it has reduced the catch of slow-moving sharks by as much as 64%. [Repel Sharks]
If you are a fisherman in search for a decent fly wheel, keep in mind that one of Abel's reels managed to haul in a 150-pound great white off the coast of California. [Link]
Remember that old Batman movie where Adam West blew up a shark with some Bat Spray? As completely ridiculous as that was, a similar product actually exists in the form of this RS-A-1 canister. When dropped, the can will sink and then slowly rise as it emits a cloud of chemical repellent. Designed to affect a shark's sense of smell, the manufacturer claims it will buy you around 15 minutes of protection. [Repel Sharks]
What's up spaceman? Neptunic suits look like something a 1960's test pilot would wear, but they are actually designed for underwater use. Made from a liquid crystal polymer fiber, the suits are extremely bite resistant. [Netptunic]

Face it, you could barely slip a playing card between your feet and the ground on a vertical jump. Poweriser spring-loaded boots can give you a vertical leap of up to six feet and run strides of up to nine feet. Just imagine what you could do on the basketball court. Check out the product page to see it in action. [Powerisers]
Of all the sports out there, golf is probably the one you need the most help with. Titanium drivers have revolutionized the sport, but the Air Force One driver from PowerBilt takes things a step further with compressed nitrogen. Filling the clubhead with nitrogen at 150 psi allows you to reduce the thickness of the face and increase the size of the sweet spot—and increased flex in the clubface means greater distance. Surprisingly, this club even meets USGA guidelines. [PowerBilt via Link]
When it comes right down to it, putting is really at the core of a good golf game. The Argon Laser Putter helps give you an edge in that area with a three-laser targeting system. [Argon Putter via Link]
The Vector O Bat blends the finest in wiffle technology with space age alloys to generate better aerodynamics, faster bat speed and greater distance. [Reebok via Link]
Designed for the three big football leagues (England's Premier League, Spain's La Liga, and Italy's Serie A), Nike's T90 Ascente is the most advanced football $140 can buy. The secret is in a three-layer construction that basically turns the entire ball into a sweet spot. [Nike via Link]
Wooldand creatures won't know what killed them when you are sporting a TAC-15 crossbow. It mounts directly onto an AR-15 rifle, allowing you to switch between both weapons quickly and easily. [PSE via Link]
Until these high tech bodysuits like the LZR Racer are officially banned from major swimming competitions starting next year, athletes are going to continue to break world records at an alarming rate. [Speedo]
I don't see a Tour de France in your future, so why work so hard with all that pedaling? The Sanyo Enloop carbon fiber electric bike handles that problem for you and can keep you going for up to 62 miles on a single 3.5 hour charge. [Sanyo via Link]
Spend less time fishing and more time getting drunk with this radio controlled chum boat. Not only does it drop feed and a bait hook up to 950 feet away, it also has a built-in fish finder that relays information to your handheld remote. [Pro Idee via Link]
Team building my ass—show your co-workers who is really the boss on your next paintball excursion by building a turret. This beauty can mow down your enemies with a firing rate of 34 balls per second. It can even be controlled with a HUD from up to half a mile away. Hit the following link for the complete instructions on how to build one yourself. [Inventgeek]

I don't think I need to explain the merits of a drivable beer cooler to anyone—much less nerds used to a sedentary lifestyle. The Cruzin' Cooler can hit speeds of 15mph with a payload of 24 12oz cans on board. [Cruzin' Cooler and 19th Hole Carts via Link]
The Grinch Winch features a tow rope and a 7HP engine that will hurl you head on into the surf. [Distortionboarding via Link]
I would hope that you are smart enough to generously apply SPF 50 sunscreen to that pasty body of yours, but you still might need a backup to prevent overexposure to the sun. The Minox Suntimer monitors UV rays and sounds an alarm when it thinks you've had enough. [Optix Planet and Link]
For the gadget fanatic, it's not enough to merely admire the underwater landscape, it must be recorded. Thanko's underwater video camera (25fps QVGA) is small enough to mount on a pair of goggles. [Link]
Of course you brought your laptop to the beach. As sad as that is, the LapDome was tailor made for people like you. Basically, it's a mini tent for your laptop that protects it from the elements while shielding the screen from from that unfamiliar fiery orb in the sky. [LapDome via Link]
When a simple beach chair just won't do, the Astone inflatable massage chair will provide a more luxurious solution. In addition to the vibrating massage pads, the chair also features a dock for your iPod, speakers and a handy remote control. [Axpertz via Link]
In keeping with your nerdy sensibilities, this unique surfboard was designed by Thomas Meyerhoffer—a guy that spent time working at Apple and was a driving force behind the design of Chumby. [Myerhoffer via Link]
If you are going to be out in the sun, you are going to need a pair of sunglasses. This Calvin Klein model look a bit Blues Brothers, but it does feature 4GB of storage. [Link]
It's a shark! It's a submarine! No, it's some fat guy wearing a Superman wetsuit. If you can imagine it, the guys at Wetwear Custom Wetsuits can make it. [Wetwear]
When you are a guy and you have a set of man jugs like this, do us all a favor and wear a man bra with a t-shirt over it. [Link]

If you have a bit of an imagination, the Hydroglass shower is almost like snorkeling off of some pristine Caribbean island. Alllllmost. [Hydroco via Link]

Again, if you have some imagination, the Aquavolo can be like standing in a refreshing rainstorm on a hot summer day. It can also be like standing in a stream underneath a waterfall with a simple flip of the showerhead. [Bossini via Link]

It may cost $1000, but this portable spa is still cheaper than most hot tubs and it can be drained and deflated quickly for storage. It also features five adjustable hydro-massaging jets and a 900W heating system that can be controlled with the push of a button. [Hammacher]

The Mr. T sprinkler I had as a kid did the job, but it is nothing compared to what I could have done with this remote controlled water cannon. It attaches to a standard garden hose and can shoot water up to 100 feet. And the best part is that it can be controlled wirelessly via remote control. It also includes three interchangeable nozzles to alter spray patterns. [Hammacher]

Slip 'n Slides are a classic alternative to the backyard pool, but with a little work you can easily put one together yourself. Check out the following link to see this extreme homemade version in action. [Link]

Start waging war against the heat first thing in the morning with a DIY alarm clock that wakes you up with a squirt gun. Hit the link for instructions on how to build one yourself. [Hack 'n Mod via Link]

You may not be able to get to the beach this year, but you can still simulate an underwater experience with the Umine projector. In addition to projecting sea-like waves, the Umine features sound effects that help immerse you in an ocean experience. [Himeya via Link]

If you are looking to save a little money on your water bill, a rain barrel is a smart way to power up your sprinklers and fill your water weapons. This particular 56-gallon rain barrel happens to be butt-shaped, which will no doubt open up a world of opportunity for hilarious diarrhea jokes. [Link]

The next best thing to a pool with a diving board is a water-logged Big Wave trampoline. Water, trampoline...what could go wrong? [Big Wave]

There are commercial water mortar toys, but they won't hold a candle in terms of firepower compared to one that you build yourself. This DIY version is easy to build, and it's a serious piece of water fightin' artillery. [Instructables via Link]

In other words, feel free to use our new comments system to add photos of any oversized retro gadgets you have access to.

In the '70s and early '80s, it was trendy to offset tiny, crappy screens with enormous and ornate wooden consoles. My family had one of these when I was a kid—looking back on it, I understand why my father chose to put it on the lowest level of our house. It would have seriously compromised the structural integrity of any floor it was sitting on. [TV History]
This is what passed for a widescreen television in 1978. However, the GE Widescreen 1000 really wasn't widescreen at all. In reality this absurdly huge cabinet housed a small CRT screen that used "a vertical deflection reversing switch to invert and laterally reverse the image, and a three element lens within a light-proof projection chamber to re-invert, magnify and project the image onto a forward projection type reflective screen." In other words, the image was artificially enlarged through projection. Oh, and that beastly monstrosity sitting next to it is an early VHS recorder. Back in the day, video players like this one could weigh 30 pounds or more. [Flickr and RetroThing]
Surely you are familiar with the DynaTAC 8000X—the first commercially available mobile phone. Seriously, is Dr Martin Cooper making a call to his wife or calling in an air strike? [Puremobile]
The Walkman portable cassette player made its debut in 1979, but if you wanted a more feature rich portable player, you risked a dislocated shoulder picking up one of these ghetto blasters. ['80s Rewind]
Today we have camcorders built into our tiny cellphones. In the '70s and early '80s you had to deal with beasts like the Sony SL-F1 Betamax camera. Before the advent of the Betamovie BMC-100P personal camcorder in 1983, the camera and the portable recorder were not integrated into a single unit. [Wikipedia]
The JVC HR-4100 was the first ever "portable" VHS recorder, but this woman appears to be in over her head. This is definitely a "team lift" situation. [Rewind Museum]
We bitch about gas guzzling SUV's now, but get a load of this '73 Thunderbird. Seriously, there is enough metal between the cabin and the grill to take on a locomotive. [Corral.net]
Microwaves in the '70s were big enough to crawl into. According to the owner, this particular model weighed around 80 pounds. [Forty Two]
Bonus: Glasses are not really a gadget, but honestly, what the hell was going on in the '70s? I have to admit though, Wonder Woman still looks great with those telescopes attached to her face. Anyway, thank God for contacts and Lasik. [Blurbomat]

This compact games table is actually 20 games in one. [Argos Sports]
Pool tables can take up an entire room—a problem that can be remedied by installing it on a hydraulic lift that disappears under the floor. [YouTube and Link]
A good game room always needs a bar. This James Bond-esque custom version is hidden behind a wall-mounted HDTV in a revolving cabinet. [YouTube and Ballerhouse]
Like anything in a game room, you are going to need some space to install a ping pong table. This version features a mini table installed in a door frame that can be flipped up and down as needed. [tobiasfraenzel via Link]
If you are into a more robust ping pong experience, this modular table allows you to set up crazy games for up to 12 players. [Link]
Sure, a round pool table is going to take up space, but this version features a stripper pole add on that means you can scratch plans for a dedicated stripper section. [JM Billard via Link]
If you don't have the space (or the cash) for a full-size air hockey or foosball table, these palm-sized versions might fit the bill. The air hockey versions even feature a fan that keeps the puck elevated for a more realistic experience. [Link]
This billiard cue bench keeps all of your equipment tucked away and out of sight while providing additional seating in the room. [Pool Table Portfolio via Link]
If you are looking for a gaming experience that is a little more extreme, the N Range shooting system packs an actual firing range inside of an armoire. Using a special type of non lethal, low noise, low smoke round, users can fire their guns whether they are at home or the office (although I would strongly recommend against the latter). [Ballerhouse via Boing Boing Gadgets]
If you are going to have a coffee table in a game room, it might as well do more than just hold drinks. This version features an embedded Blu-ray player, 19-inch touchscreen and a PC. [Retro-Tech via Link]
Bonus gadget: Some couches pull out into beds. This particular couch happens to pull out into a snooker table. [Link]