BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

Leica M7: DSLR schmeeSLR. Digital photography still can't match the old-school beauty of film, and Leica's M7 35mm camera is one of the best and most gorgeous out there. It's the kind of gift you'd hand down to your grandkids, partly because it'll last forever and partly because it costs enough that you need several lifetimes to get your money's worth. The M7 also has an even-more-decadent Hermes edition which clocks in at $14,000, but the normal M7 is available now and would send any prosumer DSLR-owner into fits of jealousy. $5,500 [Link; Amazon]

Retro-Gen: Modern videogames are so complicated, so expensive, so...3D. A true retrophile isn't interested in Modern Warfare 2, but could be persuaded to play a little Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Streets of Rage 2 or Toejam and Earl 2: Panic on Funkotron. The Retro-Gen, a little sorta-legal handheld emulator, will play either original Genesis cartridges or ROMs that you've loaded onto an included SD card. Plus, the entire system costs less than some modern DSi or PSP games. $38 [Link; Video Game Central Store]

French Press: Here's one where an irrational fear of the new is totally justified. Your typical fancy, electronic drip coffee-maker spits out watery, bitter brown liquid only technically identifiable as coffee, while the French press (basically a glass jug with a mesh screen plunger) produces rich, delicious coffee, retaining the essential oils that give a true depth of flavor. Not only is it older, simpler, and cheaper, it's flat-out better. $20 [Bodum French Press]

Set of 11 Kenny Loggins Albums on Vinyl: You know what, this is a great gift for anyone, retrophile or not. Even if you don't have a turntable, 11 of these albums would make excellent wall art. Matter of fact, I might just buy these myself. Go find your own Kenny Loggins vinyl collection! $10 [eBay]

iPod Classic: Multitouch? OLED? Wi-Fi? Widescreen video? What about the good old days, when convergence was a crazy futuristic concept and PMPs were called MP3 players, because, well, that's all they did. The iPod Classic is just about the only traditional hard-drive-based PMP left on the market, and while it's better than ever (thin, long battery life, spacious 160GB hard drive), it's still a relic of the past. I mean, seriously, a click wheel? What is this, 2007? $250 [Link; Apple Store]

Classic Prints From The Onion: The comedy gods over at The Onion have their very own gifts for retro-minded buyers, creating "classic" Onion front pages from times in the publication's fictional history (what, you didn't know it was founded in the mid-18th century as "The Mercantile Onion" by Friedrich Siegfried Zweibel?). The all-time classic is "Holy Shit: Man Walks on Fucking Moon," but "Whites Invent 'Rock and Roll'" and "Mr. T Releases 'Pity List '86'" are both pretty amazing things to hang on your wall, too. Guaranteed to stop passersby and give them the giggles. $33 each, framed and matted [Onion Store]

Trip to the Computer History Museum: You can be a retrophile and still love tech, and the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, California is the best place in the country to revel in the fascinating history of technological advancement. Right now, they're celebrating the 50th anniversary of the integrated circuit, examining the history of computer chess and visible storage, and remembering Charles Babbage, inventor of the first automatic computing engine. Among those constantly rotating exhibits are jewels like the Cray 1 supercomputer, the world's first ethernet cable and a Tandy TRS-80. Free admission [Link; CHM Site]

DON'T BUY A Modern Smartphone: Anybody who yearns for the old days is going to find the idea of a powerful, always-connected pocket computer pretty threatening. Today's smartphones are as powerful as the best desktop computers from ten years ago, and are only getting better. An iPhone, Droid or Palm Pre might well explode a retrophile's mind all over his face. But if he's submitted to peer pressure and allowed a thoroughly modern iPhone into his classic-rock life, we do have one recommendation: The iRetroPhone iPhone app, which simulates an old rotary phone. $1 [iTunes]

Don't forget to recommend your own favorite retro-centric gift in comments-include pics and pricing if possible.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

Not one—The New Nation, a newspaper from Bangladesh—but two—the Daily Manab Zamin, who ran the story in Bengali—published the whole story quoting the "Onion News Network, Lebanon, Ohio." They reprinted the whole thing, starting with the headline: Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked.

Their excuse: "We thought it was true so we printed it without checking."

Frankly, I understand them. After all, if it is in in the internet, it must be real.

What is even more worrying is that there are a couple of Gizmodo readers—now banned—who actually believed the whole thing when we published it as a joke, and then used it as an argument in the story of Chandrayaan-1's image on the Apollo 15 landing site. [Wired UK]

My favorite line on Twitter: "You just pick a name that's very common and after it you add the year your son or daughter was born...just make sure that you spell everything wrong and swear a lot." [Thanks Cameron!]

Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village

Like all the best Onion pieces, this video takes the bizarre and scary concepts we ignore despite being right in front of our faces, and spells them out in blunt, hilarious language. As the "Google Exec" says, "If you don't want to give us complete access to your most private thoughts and feelings, that's fine! You can just toil on the hinterlands, and die young."

But my favorite part has to be the consistent juxtaposition of Google's bright happy basic colors on all the terrifying privacy guards and equipment. On the other hand, even if this horrible airless prison was real, I'd probably still get excited about the next Android phone. You win, Google. You win everything, ever. [The Onion]

Executives at Sanyo-which employs more than 85,000 people worldwide-said they were initially overjoyed that someone had actually purchased one of their products. The celebration was short-lived, however, as it soon dawned on board members that their organization would face financial ruin if forced to honor Cinelli's rebate.

[The Onion]

"Oh my God, I can't believe how much faster you can get online with this," said Delaney, who exited the store holding a cupped hand up to her ear and yelling into her wrist about how wonderful the new phone was. "The reception is so clear, and you can pretty much get a signal no matter where you go."

"Hold on a sec," continued Delaney, suddenly shaking her hand up and down. "I think my battery is dying."

Like I said, exactly. [The Onion]

They mention Sony by name, but I don't think Sony is worse than the majority of the industry. I mean, Sony's better off under Sir Howard Stringer than they have been in terms of software and formats, so they shouldn't take it personally. Sony aside, if this piece doesn't have a ring of truth around it regarding the majority of the gadget-making industry, I don't know what does. [The Onion]

Think about it. The more all these people work in all those weird countries, the more clothes there will be, and the cheaper the manufacturing will result. That means increased profit margins for manufacturers, free entertainment for those workers/slaves/kids slaves no matter where they are, and exactly the same quality for your jeans, shirts, jackets, and sneakers, at the same price.

See? Everyone wins! [The Onion]

What makes these so great is just how close to real they look. Trust me, I've seen plenty of absolutely idiotic products with iPod docks in them, and the iFeast isn't the dumbest. As for the Kleen-Stride, well, aren't there slippers designed to clean your floors? In any case, these are awesome and a good way to gauge just how your fiancé will react to your legitimately crappy gifts in the future. [Kleen-Stride and iFeast]

In declarations to the Reno Gazzette Journal this morning, Gizmodo's editor-in-chief Brian Lam categorically denied that he referred to the second-generation Zune as having "great design." "The Onion just made that whole thing up" Mr. Lam said, "what I really said was that the Zune 2 is an amazing piece of innovative engineering, a technological breakthrough that will affect all technology breakthroughs to come. The design, however, is a little bland." Visibly angry, Mr. Lam accused The Onion of systematically "getting things wrong."

Excerpt from The Onion's article on the second-generation Zune massive adoption

"The thing about Gates is true, though" the tech publication's mercurial leader added, "and I love his taste in pants and wool jumpers too. Specially that stripy one he wore at last year's CES. So cute. No, really, I love it. I know Chen is on the fence on that one but personally, I think his attire make him the fashion force in the industry. Like the Coco Chanel of tech, if you will" Later, he left the room bumping into a chair, spilling some of the contents from the bottle in a brown paper bag that he carried around all morning, which he referred to as "my coffee."

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the owner of popular news reference site Fark, amateur lawyer and fly fishing aficionado Drew Curtis said that he was going to give special legal counsel to Gizmodo and Brian Lam to stop what he referred to as "that bad bad bad source of news." "It's completely unacceptable" he said "I know that Gizmodo and me had our differences regarding the use of NSFW in the past, but The Onion's faulty reporting has to be stopped at once."

Gizmodo's publisher Nick Denton was unavailable for comment, having margaritas at a party somewhere in Manhattan. [The Onion]

(Notice: While this should come as obviously fake to 99% of the people out there, for the 1%, yes, this post is fake fake FAKE. F-A-K-E. This one you just read and, like everything they do, the Onion's)

The Onion

The retail outlet boasts more than 6,000 locations in the United States, and is known best for its wall-sized displays of obscure-looking analog electronics components and its notoriously desperate, high-pressure sales staff. Nevertheless, it ranks as a Fortune 500 company, with gross revenues of over $4.5 billion and fiscal quarter earnings averaging tens of millions of dollars.

"Have you even been inside of a RadioShack recently?" Day asked. "Just walking into the place makes you feel vaguely depressed and alienated. Maybe our customers are at the mall anyway and don't feel like driving to Best Buy? I suppose that's possible, but still, it's just...weird."

The Onion is funny, but I have an answer — where else are you going to go other than Radio Shack for DIY project parts and AV cables that aren't 10x more expensive than they're supposed to be?–Brian Lam

Even CEO Can't Figure Out How RadioShack Still In Business [The Onion]

"Get ready for the future of product introduction," said Jobs, looking resplendent in a black turtleneck and faded jeans. "The iLaunch will be able to make announcements from this, or any other stage, making human participation in generating consumer awareness almost entirely unnecessary."

The iLaunch runs Keynote-formatted presentations in high definition through a built-in projector while displaying a 3-D rotating image of the product. Voice-recognition software, Apple's most advanced to date, can recite a speech highlighting the features of the device while injecting several clever digs at competitors. Should a product demonstration experience a glitch or malfunction, the iLaunch boasts a complex algorithm that can automatically produce humorous and distracting quips.

Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product [The Onion]

"When the second-generation iPhone comes out this fall, we want iPhone users to feel not just jealous, but downright foolish for owning such laughably primitive technology." Jobs also hinted that the second iPhone device would not be compatible with existing Mac computers, third-party peripherals, or any future Apple products.

Apple Hard at Work Making iPhone 2 [Thanks Kevin M.]

•BBC's "Cricket Roundup" with Natasha Kaplinsky
•Channel that plays "I Have A Dream" speech on continuous 24-hour loop
•Guy Reads The Dow Ticker Like Eddie Murphy Channel
•Station dedicated to capturing first words of Sirius CEO Mel Karmazin's granddaughter
•"The Convincing You To Like Zappa Hour"
•Hour-long program titled "Would XM Satellite Radio Play This?"
•"Test Answers To Mr. Taylor's Sixth-Grade Biology Finals"
•Better oldies station

–Brian Lam

New Sirius Radio Programs [The Onion]