I'll admit it, I'm a sucker for gadgets with lots of functionality—even if I can't envision a scenario when I would ever use it. Plus, I have watched entirely too many Suvivorman and Man vs. Wild episodes. The Expedition WS4 will be available starting in may for $200. [Boing Boing Gadgets and Popular Mechanics]

For a baby less than 3 months old, the armpit is the best, while a kid older than 4 or 5 years will be better with an oral check. The unlucky babies between 3 months and 4 yours are, I'm a afraid, stuck with the thermometer up their buttocks. Technicalities aside, however, this design is, if not accurate, at least cute and fool-proof: Once it's done, the thermometer will flash a LED light and beep. [Yanko Design]

The size of a sugar packet and sitting on the bottle's neck, if everything was OK, an embedded light (LED, we're sure) blinks green. If things went wrong, it'll blink yellow. The system even records the temperature for downloading to a computer spreadsheet by suppliers.

The catch is that these thermometers run about $1.60 apiece. Obviously intended for better wines, it's still tough to swallow that all that many vineyards will adopt the technology in an era when traditional corks are dying to cheaper screw tops and rubber stoppers. But hey, who are we to question progress? [AP]

This is almost as wrong as the Jesuswitch. [Cartoon Brew via Boing Boing]

There's a four-in-one A/V connection (composite, S-Video, audio input and headphone jack) and remote control. Perhaps it's good for anyone thinking of turning the underground nuclear shelter at the bottom of the garden dug by Grandpaw 40 years ago into a den. The Time Square costs $130. [Amazon via Uncrate]

We've been cooking steak for a while and still don't know what the "optimal" temperature for it is, so an easy-to-read thermometer like this is perfect for idiots like us. And your kids. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Surlatable via Uncrate]

Product Page [Via Coolest-Gadgets]

They come in three sizes—keychain, pocket, and radar detector—and all are able to measure anywhere between -76 degrees F to 938 degrees F. Word of advice: If you're pointing this at something and it's reading 938 degrees F, back away. – Jason Chen

Largest Size [X-Treme Geek]

Pocket Size [X-treme Geek]

Keychain Size [X-treme Geek]

Product Page [Via Ubergizmo]

However, this Grobag Egg is supposed to be placed inside nurseries, so that you can easily determine how hot or cold a baby's bed is and adjust accordingly. But it's still a pretty neat gadget to place on your nightstand so you can determine just how fast you need to run to put on a jacket when you get out of bed in the morning. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Grobag via Oh Gizmo via Sci Fi Blog]

After getting your wine at just the right warmness or coldness, you're free to chug it down and realize you spent fifty bones on this thing. Seek help, wino. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Nuvovino via Uncrate via Crave]

The receiver is battery powered, and the baby monitor can be plugged into an AC outlet if you don't have any more AAA's. The two combine together to form a gadget that's perfect for when you're dying to head outside for a smoke, or a drink, or whatever. Friggin' baby. What'd you ever do for us? Except fill me with wuuuuvs! – Jason Chen

Product Page [Sharper Image via Coolest Gadgets]

The pill consists of sophisticated instruments and a battery, which probably makes it not so cheap to make. However, we'll be willing to trade a few more bucks to ensure that these pills aren't reusable—Even if CorTemp says it's "designed for human use only." – Jason Chen

Product Page [HQ Inc via SCI FI Tech]

Or if you're cooking a steak, you could just do what pro chefs teach their students, where you can tell the doneness of the steak by comparing it to the firmness of your hand in various states. Make a fist, and the space where your thumb and index finger meet feels like the firmness of a well-done steak. Hold your thumb lightly against your forefinger, and that area of your hand will compare in firmness to a steak cooked medium. Let your hand go limp, and that's rare. You heard it here first. Now if you burn the steak by using this method, you can blame me. – Charlie White

Product page [Miles Kimball, via The ber Review]

Just shove the probes in, set the desired level of cooking (rare, medium rare, medium, well), place the wireless receiver on your belt (or somewhere else on your body, we may not always be wearing belts), and you can be up to 100 feet away and still be aware of what's going on with your sausages.

You can even use this as a timer or a clock, to measure how long you've been at it. Counts up or counts down, then beeps when done.

Available now for $79.99. – Jason Chen

Remote Thermometers [Maverick Industries via CNET]

We can see how you might want a laser pointer in the mouse you use with your laptop (less peripherals to lose between meetings), and vaguely understand why you might want a long retractable USB cord (too cheap to spring for Bluetooth), but a built-in thermometer? What? We can't stand behind that.

USB Mouse with Laser Pointer and Thermometer [Brando]

Anyway, scarring aside, this will be a great addition to any pediatric department. Nothing can corrupt a childhood more than being anally probed by strange men in lab coats, so now the children of today won't have to worry about that.

Contactless thermometer by EJK [Akihabara]