Granted, several of these are no brainers, like checking voicemail and cellphone addresses—but you may not have thought about E-ZPass and frequent flier accounts. Personally, I think if you feel compelled to go this far, the lack of trust in the relationship is a good sign that it is doomed anyway. Oh, and if you check browsing histories, chances are you are going to uncover some sheeeeit. It might not have anything to do with cheating, but its going to result in a big argument anyway. It's probably best not to go down that road. [Techlicious]

The NY Post somehow got their hands on these text messages which were exchanged by Tiger Woods and Jaimee Grubbs. Reading them almost feels like an invasion of privacy, but at the same time I can't stop thinking that Tiger sounds like a fourteen year old boy who finally found a girl who won't slap him for being a bit cheeky on occasion. Basically, he sounds like many of us do in text message conversations with a lover.

He gets lusty:

Tiger: I need you
Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u
Tiger: I will wear you out soon

He ignores the dangers of sexting:

Tiger: send me something very naughty
Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol ... besides im at work
Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it
Jaimee: haha ur too much

He gets jealous:

Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday
Tiger: what kind of present your naked body
Jaimee: haha no a watch I slept alone
Tiger: alone with him that is
Jaimee: haha I wish
Jaimee: miss u
Tiger: now that's hot so who is your new boy toy

He gets tortured:

Jaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha
Tiger: oh god
Jaimee: take a break from watching boring old golf
Jaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf ;)
Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kidding

And he fails to give the sweet and tender response that's expected:

Jaimee: I have fun with u, you always make me smile and I am not afraid to be myself or say anything to u ... the day I met u I thought u were going to kick me out a few times but for someone reason you didn't and u have told me numerous times I talk to much but slowly as I get to know u iI think your absolutely amazing
Tiger: you are wrong I'm bone thugs in harmon

You can check out the rest of the text messages over at the NY Post, but come back after you do and tell me if I'm just imaging the normality or if maybe Tiger really is just like any other texter, all ridiculous and prone to lousy grammar. [NY Post]

Bartz couldn't resist a shout out to the beleaguered golfer when speaking to analysts in New York yesterday afternoon. Yahoo's traffic has been doing gangbusters since the Tiger story broke, which in some ways validates their strategy to be a "portal" rather than a search company. When something big and gossipy like this happens, Yahoo's multichannel setup allows them to cover it from a number of different angles. On the other hand, if your sprawling search and content company is set up so that a single tabloid story can "make" your quarter, well, what happens if that story doesn't break?

Oh, that's right. Google drinks your milkshake. [WSJ via Huffington Post]

If only Fox News started doing things like this, I think I'd finally be able to sit through Shepard Smith. [Thanks, OMG! Ponies!]

As Tiger's scandal winds to a middle, we're hearing more about what actually happened, and all the sad mis-uses of technology that led the man-of-many-races to this point. Here are the mistakes he made, and how you can avoid them to better cheat on your spouse.

Come on El Tigre, this is the most obvious one. Never use your own cellphone to call your mistress! Seriously, how hard is this concept? Your wife can check your cellphone bills, check your account status or even check your phone for weird calls. Just buy a new pre-paid phone and use that instead. You'll want to always keep that on vibrate, so your spouse doesn't question why there's a weird ringtone going off.

As Mark Wilson suggested, if you're going to be dumb enough to keep keep your cheat-pal on your phone, save her as "Mom". Or "Grandma". Or "Chiropractor".

Make sure your spouse doesn't have any kind of tracking device on you. This means turning off AT&T's FamilyMap, or any similar services from other providers. Hell, you probably just want to shut off your main phone entirely and claim you were somewhere without reception.

As we saw in the Taiwanese recreation, Tiger was driving away from his wife when he turned around to inspect a) what the hell club she was using to smack his car with, and b) how much damage the crazy woman was doing to his ride. Bad move. You turn your head at 2:30 in the morning, all goosed up on pills, and you're going to smack into a tree.

What he should have done was install a backup camera in his car so he could keep his eyes on the road, yet still see what his wife was swinging at. [Amazon]

And this one is just sad AND dumb. Mr. 1 billion left his own name on the voicemail of his mistress, begging her to change her greeting so that when his wife calls, he could have some deniability as to who he was calling.

First, never leave your name. "It's me" works just fine. She'll know who you are. I mean, you've slept with her a number of times. And your voice is all over TV. It's likely that she can recognize you without you having to identify yourself. And even then, it's a good idea to use a voice modulator when you leave voicemails, so that people can never trace them back to you. "Hey, that wasn't my voice," you claim, before following up with a denial about even knowing how voice modulators work.

"This is Optimus Prime. The Earth is in danger unless you meet me at the Motel 6 off route 57 at 10 PM tonight." (Don't pick that one.) [US Magazine voicemail and Voice Modulators]

As the father of two kids, Tiger should have prepared himself for the possibility—however slim—that he was going to get caught. And when you're super rich and you get caught cheating, that's reason enough for your wife to divorce you and try and get half of your stuff.

What should he have done? Set up a spy camera in his living room. Not only would it have documented the supposed domestic abuse (face slapping) generously given by his wife, it might have captured HER cheating on him as well; both things very handy in a divorce hearing.

It's a lesson news organizations should learn from here: Just make machinima reproductions of events using a Sims 3/GTA 4 style program so that your viewers can see what Tiger Woods getting bitchslapped looks like. I mean, hearing a police spokesperson relay the facts of how Tiger drove away while his wife was attacking his car with a golf club is fine, but nothing beats seeing a virtual woman smack the hell out of a car with your own eyes. [TMZ]

So will there be 1:1 movement, accelerometers, or IR bars? We don't know. All the product promises in terms of functionality is the full gamut of Dual Shock controls (though note one analog stick is missing), "three dimensional motion sensing" and "super sensitive movement sensors."

But somehow the Blaze PS3mote promises to be compatible with Sega Tennis and Tiger Woods. Without the full support of EA or Sega (which we're doubting they have), it's hard to imagine the controller working very well. But hey, we're happy to be proven right when it comes out at an undisclosed time for an undisclosed price. [Blaze via ubergizmo]

Watch how MotionPlus matches movement 1:1 between the real golf swing and Tiger's golf swing. The swing itself is still on a track (it doesn't appear, for instance, that you could make Tiger swing the club like a baseball bat). But our guess is that's a choice EA has made to keep the game's learning curve low.

Plus, the game does acknowledge a slight twist of the wrist to draw or fade with "100%" responsiveness, making this EA video the first time we remember any function related to the Wiimote promising "100%" of anything. Now with the control situation sorted, I can finally return to wishing the Wii had the graphical power of the Xbox 360. [Joystiq via CrunchGear]

EA has announced the first wave of third party games that will support Wii MotionPlus controls: Tiger Woods 10 and a new tennis game.

What else might we decipher from EA's announcement? Well, Tiger Woods 09 came out in late August of '08. Extrapolating EA's yearly release schedule, we see Wii MotionPlus being available by August '09 (when we'd expect Tiger 10 to come out). But do we actually know? No, no we don't. [Kotaku]

On the rumor front, Tech Radar is claiming that Sega's next Virtua Tennis title will also support Wii MotionPlus.

LOS ANGELES, Calif., – September 5, 2008 – EA Mobile™, a division of Electronic Arts Inc. (NASDAQ:ERTS), today announced that Spore™ Origins, an original game for the iPhone™ and iPod® touch, will be available this month. The game takes full advantage of the devices’ built-in accelerometer as players tilt, turn and twist their way through a world made of primordial ooze. In conjunction with the launch of Spore Origins, EA Mobile also announces a list of nine games in development for both the iPhone and iPod Touch platforms.

Eat-or-be-eaten in Spore Origins! Designed specifically for the iPhone and iPod touch, Spore Origins uses the platforms’ motion-sensing technology to let gamers navigate a primordial tidepool on a quest to evolve. Feast on the weak and flee from the strong through two exciting modes and 35 challenging levels. Pinch, pull, and poke your creation in the Creature Editor, customizing the texture, shape and body parts to improve your offense, defense, perception and movement as you evolve over millions of years.

““We’re really excited to bring Spore Origins to the iPhone and iPod touch,” said Travis Boatman, Vice President Worldwide Studios at EA Mobile. “By leveraging the unique capabilities of these devices, players can customize their own creatures and shape their destiny in an exciting evolutionary journey. ”

EA Mobile today also announced nine titles in development for the iPhone and iPod touch, pending regional availability. This list includes YAHTZEE Adventures, EA Mini Golf, Lemonade Tycoon™, Mahjong, MONOPOLY: Here & Now The World Edition, SimCity, Tiger Woods PGA TOUR 09, Need for Speed™ Undercover, and The Sims™ 3.

Spore Origins will be available globally from the Apple App Store on iPhone and iPod touch, or by simply visiting www.eamobile.com from an iPhone. Additional versions of Spore Origins are also available for the iPod, as well as other mobile devices. All iPod games are available for the third-generation iPod nano, iPod classic and fifth-generation iPod and can be sent as a gift using the iTunes gifting feature (www.itunes.com).

Anyway, this past weekend Tiger clinched a win at the British Open, but there was a little bit of techie drama on the links. On multiple occasions Tiger was forced to break concentration on the tee because of the amount of amatuer picture being taken from cameraphones. Some golf tournaments stateside have banned cellphones from the links for spectators, but it is much harder to regulate this under British law. One of the commentators on Sunday said that cellphones are allowed for safety reasons.

Banning cellphones at events like this. Good? Bad? Any golfers out there want to weigh in. I personally don't golf but I could see the camera noises being a major distraction, especially in intense situations like the British Open. Regardless it must have not affected Tiger that much, he was able to clinch a win with a near-flawless performance. If you want to comment on this and don't have an account, hit up my personal Gizmodo e-mail addy that can be found on the left side, and I'll hook you up. – Travis Hudson

Tiger snaps at fans taking photographs [MSNBC via Reuters]