Hello Kitty Toilet Paper Dispenser Advances Buttocks Tech

Other than the iPod dock toilet paper speaker we thoroughly tested, there hasn't been any real advancement in the area of ass wiping technology in the past few years. This Hello Kitty dispenser changes everything with its automated dispensing unit that lets you program exactly how many sheets you want for your next wipe—which may sound useful, but doesn't quite account for when you've got hard, rocky poops followed by soft, liquidy ones. But when you slap a Hello Kitty logo and an automated turning mechanism onto something, you're pretty much pounding on the Nobel Prize committee's collective door and asking for the cash. [Kitty Hell]

Toilet Paper Machine Does the Folding for You

Can't afford one of those fancy butt-spraying toilets? This toilet paper machine might be your only hope. It neatly folds and cuts your Charmin so you don't have to. And unlike the Lego machine, this one doesn't waste as much paper. Though naturally we hope the final version comes with an iPod dock. – Louis Ramirez More »

Lego Toilet Paper Folder: Life-Changing Invention?

Is there no limit to what you can make with Lego? Kyle Yeats and his friends at UC Berkeley put together this toilet paper folder out of Lego Mindstorms and a bit of scrap metal. It folds up a heaping helping of toilet paper for you, and then cuts it, conveniently delivering it to your hand and ready to wipe. More »