Did you just participate in a chili dog eating contest? Worry not, because the Neorest now whips up a tornado flush that can tackle anything that might stick to the inside of the bowl. It also has a special CeFiONtect glazing to prevent stains in the first place. I, for one, can't wait until Toto-esque toilet tech is more widely used in the US. [Neorest LE and Neorest SE via Trendir via DVICE]

It's the sequel to the original Intelligence Toilet, which has been tracking and graphing the health of the 10,000 or so lucky souls who have purchased one since 2005, according to Toto. Like the original, the Intelligence Toilet II takes all kinds of readings from your urine, which are then organized into Wii Fit style charts and graphs on your PC via Wi-Fi. It's unclear what all is new aside from the aforementioned temperature monitoring, which can help women keep track of their menstruation cycles, but if you're going to import a crazy Japanese toilet, this is clearly the one. [Trends in Japan]

Super-deluxe-awesome-o toilets are always on, constantly sipping power—they now make up four percent of household energy consumption, more than dishwashers or clothes dryers. And they're in 68 percent of homes. One expert says it's the Japanese equivalent of the slightly suicidal American love of the Hummer, except that sales of quasi-mecha toilets aren't slowing down. (Probably because 23 to 30 percent of Japanese men apparently sit down to pee. So inefficient.) How serious is the problem? Tricked out commodes might knock Japan out of meeting its Kyoto Protocol goals, even as the government demands more efficiency out of manufacturers.

Toto, for its part—besides cutting energy usage of its toilets in half—has come up with a smart toilet that learns everybody's pooping schedules and warms up just prior to your usual pit stop, so it only powers on when it needs to, rather than staying armed and ready all the time. Technology really can solve all our problems, even the ones it creates. [Washington Post]

Toto has been in a competition with Matsushita in Japan to make the most efficient toilet, where Matsushita had a 5.7 liter-per-flush toilet released late last year, but now Toto roars back with this Neorest Hybrid Series. The company didn't announce pricing just yet, but if this one is in line with Toto's other Neorest toilets, it will probably start around $4000. [Far East Gizmos]

Representatives of All Nippon Airways eagerly anticipate the May 2008 date when the company begins accepting delivery on its fifty 787 Dreamliners ordered from Boeing, boasting that the fancy-schmancy toilets will "refresh the parts other airlines cannot reach." These washlet devices are commonplace in Japan, and are starting to make inroads Stateside. We can only hope that someday we Americans might catch up in the cleanliness department, joining the scrubbed ranks of the squeaky clean-assed Japanese.

Japan's New Toilets Wash, Dry... and Fly! [Inventor Spot]

Although these washlet devices might seem bizarre to Americans, if you think about it, the concept actually makes a lot of sense. As one of our erudite commenters so aptly put it, cleaning yourself up after a poop with dry toilet paper is like spreading peanut butter around on a shag carpet. Sorry. Hope you already had breakfast. More details than you ever want to know, all yours in the gallery below. – Charlie White

A Water Gun For Your Butt [Tokyomango] (Thanks, Lisa!)

Toto, purveyors of a-cut-above bathroom accessories, such as this and this are in deep doo-doo. Toilets from their Z range, which feature a pulsating massage spray, a power dryer, and a "Tornado Wash" flush, have been bursting into flames in the company's home market of Japan.

According to a company spokesman, nobody was using the toilets when the fires broke out, and there were no injuries—although it could have been very nasty indeed. "The fire would have been just under your buttocks," she added. Imagine the carnage if, while perched atop one of the flamers, some unlucky person had chosen that moment to unleash a mighty fart.

Although just three loos have been affected, Toto is taking no chances, and is recalling all 180,000 of the Z models, which were manufactured between May 1996 and December 2002. – Ad Dugdale

Free repairs to flammable toilets [BBC News}

Check out this new portable, auto-butt-cleaning toilet bowl from Toto. It has a folding top for comfortable sitting and controls on the side for a bidet, butt spray (strong), butt spray (soft), and most importantly, the OFF button. It's made of wood (I have no idea why) and all the waste falls neatly into the tray below, so that you can pull it out, throw shit out, and then take the 44-lb potty to the next bedridden user. –Lisa Katayama

Portable Heated/Water Spraying Toilet [TokyoMango]

It does a lot more, too. Stick with us, it gets raunchier:

You get a few more luxo-sport features for your $1650 as well, such as a reading light as well as an ambient light to help you aim your stream in the dark of night.

Plus there's a fragrance dispenser that automatically freshens the air as soon as it figures out that you've stunk up the place. Now we're just trying to figure out why they named it the "Apricot F5A."

Cool, but we'd rather have the one that wipes your ass for you. Commenters, which songs would you load up on your toilet seat MP3 player? – Charlie White

UPDATE: Hey, wait a minute. This seat also has the Toto "Washlet" feature (movies here), wiping your ass for you by sending a stream of hot water that hits the perfect spot. That does it, this is the throne of thrones! -CW

Toto Apricot toilet seat [Newlaunches]

Even though this is a cheap and goofy-looking bear-eared device, it comes from a company that's established quite a bit of credibility in the shitcan and stench-killing business. Heck, Toto makes the $5700 Neorest 600 toilet using similar deodorizing tech. Considering the blessed relief it offers, this little fan sounds like a bargain. – Charlie White

Deodorization fan ENK700 from Toto [Gizmodiva]