Gizmodo: Underwear

Triumph Brings Out Bra-and-Pants Set with Solar Panels (Guess Where the Beverage Dispenser Is)

AddyDugdale — Wed, 14 May 2008 05:00:00 EDT

This bra-and-pants set in ~~astroturf~~ a fetching shade of public-convenience green towelling is, aspazzarently, part of underwear manufacturer Triumph's Autumn-Winter collection. As well as a whacking great panel of photovoltaic cells on the front of it (useful for winterwear, don't you think?) there's an electronic "scoreboard" and a built-in beverage holder (I am not making this up, I swear) that I thought looked more like those gel-filled pouches that the pneumatically-challenged use to boost their cleavage, and that Google Translate was having an off-day. Until I saw the picture of the lay-dee model showing off the gear with a drinking straw tucked down the side of the bra.

From what else I can gather from reading the blurb, Triumph is going into the household energy business. Expect to see a bunch of dome-shaped solar panels on the top of Japanese building soon. [Impress]

Heat-Sensitive Knickers Don't Make Me Hot Today

AddyDugdale — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:50:00 EDT

Normally, I would get excited about these pants with a daisy that changes color when next to your hot hot skin. But it's Monday today, and Monday's the day I do the washing and the ironing. Tuesday is J.'s day for LEGO—he's currently attempting to do the Kama Sutra out of bricks, Wednesday we're watching all Flight of the Conchords episodes back-to-back, Thursday I'm teaching the dog how to mow the lawn, Friday is National Morris Dancers Day, Saturday I'm learning how to make a lava lamp using a paperclip, boogers, an old milk bottle and our bedside lamp. So, it'll have to be Sunday. Hang on, I've just seen the price. Thirty bucks? I feel a headache coming on. [Ethical Superstore]

Laptop Underwear Serves Surprisingly Practical Purpose

Mark Wilson — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:25:00 EDT

Originally when our eyes beheld this Boratesque laptop under garment, we figured it was only good for a quick chuckle and, if we were lucky, maybe a crude tire tracks reference. But when we read more about this amazing piece of cloth, we learned that it was one loving mother's solution to a child's broken laptop hinge. We're sorry, did we just write "loving mother?" We meant to use the words "spiteful and spawn-hating." [flickr via make]

Japanese Party Pants Say "Read My Lips"

AddyDugdale — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Until I saw these, I thought that the pantsular affliction of cameltoe was something to be ashamed of. Not in Japan, apparently. These flesh-colored party pants look like the Nurse Ratched of the lingerie world, and it seems like they do to your nether regions what a good bra does to your upper one—lift and separate. Judging by the pics on the packet (the plastic one) these things are aimed at blokes—they look like man-thighs to me—so I guess they're for costume parties. Anyone with more information than me about these 13-buck knickers, feel free to share your knowledge in the comments. [Tokyo Times]

Intelligent Bra to Give Ladies Less Bounce to the Ounce

AddyDugdale — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 08:45:19 EST

University researchers have invented a smart fabric that could help larger ladies in the fight against breast bounce—disappointing the legions of men who love watching girls run for buses in the process. The material, which contains tiny sensors, will be used by bra manufacturers in an attempt to improve the lot of the big-boobed who find even the slightest exertion a pain in the chest. More info (and slightly NSFW illustration) after the jump.

The team, at Wollongong University in Australia, tested two women, one 36D, the other 38DD on a treadmill at two speeds: 4.3mph; and 6.2mph. Their studies found that it was the bra straps that took the brunt of the strain, putting pressure on the women's shoulders, and leading to numbness and tingling. The jiggling (technical term is, I believe, vertical breast displacement) was as much as 2.7 inches in the case of the larger woman.

"As breast mass increases," deduced the researchers, "breast bounce momentum also increases, placing large loads on the straps and, in turn, excessive pressure on the wearer's shoulders. Apart from strap-related pain, many females, particularly large-breasted women, are restricted from participating in physical activity due to exercise-induced breast pain."

The findings are due to be published in the latest Journal of Biomechanics later this week. [Daily Mail]

Bra, It's What's for Dinner

Mark Wilson — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 10:17:45 EST

The My Chopsticks Bra is yet another triumph of ~~Japanese~~ German novelty underwear company (aptly named) Triumph International. In accordance with the Japanese dining table theme, the right cup is reserved for rice while the left is for miso soup. Neither food is real, of course, lest hungry perverts descend from all directions, induce chest blisters and kill everyone's appetite.

A pair of collapsible chopsticks fit somewhere in between it all, almost making this bra the quintessential, patriarchal gadget of Jane Bond. But next time, we'd like to see KFC get involved for the kind of heart-stopping double entendre you can only get in America. [mainichidailynews via tokyotimes]

Video: Rip-a-Way 1000 Wedgie Proof Underwear

Brian Lam — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 14:47:55 EST

Fox News got an interview with the two 8-year twin old geniuses who invented wedgie proof underwear, dubbed the Rip-a-way 1000. The rigged a pair of boxers with fasteners at the seams, so these aren't so different from the pull away warm up pants (AKA, hiphop tuxedo). But like most of the best inventions, the beauty here lies in the simplicity of design.

The quotes by the kids are the best part of this video, laced with lament and hope deeper than we could expect from youngsters: "When someone gives you a wedgie, it hurts, and when we made wedgie proof underwear, it won't hurt anymore." Cheer up kid, you'll get fewer wedgies as you age towards your nobel peace prizes for these things. Although for me and many Giz readers, I'd say this piece of engineering has come a decade or three too late. [Wedgie Proof Undies]

Japanese Underwear With a Banana Up Front (Not That I Need Something Like This)

Brian Lam — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 22:24:23 EDT

So these are some Halloween costumes from Japan that have front-mounted, alternative-universe, male packages in the form of a banana, worm, bouquet of flowers or matchstick. What makes this funny is that I'm pretty sure Japan doesn't even celebrate Halloween. I wonder if they can custom-make these things. I can think of about a dozen ideas that could be just as funny, if not funnier. [Tokyo Mango]

Mooing Thong the Perfect Garment to Orchestrate a Break-Up

AddyDugdale — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 07:03:17 EDT

I don't know how you make this posing pouch, the epitome of flawless taste, actually moo - and I'm not sure I want to know either.

This tasteful $13 thong is perfect bedroom attire for any man who wants to break up with his girlfriend but doesn't want to be the dirty perp. Light the candles, fire up the Barry White, crack open the champagne and slip into this. Soon, dear reader, you will be single again - and single you will stay, once news of what you wear for sexy time gets out to the other ladies in the 'hood. A trumpeting elephant would be a different matter, though...

Product Page [Novelty Gifts via Nerd Approved]

Aussibum is the Wonderbra for Men's Underwear

Jason Chen — Mon, 28 May 2007 11:40:03 EDT

This video's for the ladies. Australian designer underwear Aussibum is to men's crotch bulges what the Wonderbra is to women's cleavage. Yes. Using space-age technology, you too can increase the size of your bulge when you're at the beach, at the gym, or even in the comfort of your own home.

It's "all natural," with "no rings, string, padding, or anything." It uses all your "own parts" to make your bulge as large as possible. Sounds good to us.

p.s. Ladies? You can't say we never post anything for you anymore. – Jason Chen

Aussiebum Wonderjocks [Random Good Stuff]

Single Use Underwear for the Laziest of the Lazy

Adam Frucci — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 12:48:45 EST

OneDerWear single use underwear. Yes, single use underwear. If there's a better example of our country's disposable, lazy consumerism I have yet to see it.

It's great though! I mean, aren't you sick of washing your underwear?! Now you can just wear it once and throw it away! The underwear is biodegradable, so even though manufacturing cotton garments isn't exactly environmentally friendly you will still feel like you aren't being a horribly wasteful person! Even though you are! U-S-A! U-S-A! –Adam Frucci

Product Page [via Coolest Gadgets]

High-Tech Fabric Perfect for Sexy Underwear: Made of Wood

Charlie White — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 11:18:23 EST

We're always on the lookout for the latest high-technology innovations in sexy ladies underwear, and although this Lenpur fabric is made of white pine wood scraps, it offers "the comfort of silk, the feel of cashmere and the coolness of linen. The resulting pieces acquire surprising thermal regulating and anti-stress properties." Yeah, we're stressed and could use a break.

The line of underwear is created by French designer Sophie Young and her company she calls g=9.8, a nod to physicists who know that g=9.81m/s2 is the equation for gravitational acceleration. An added bonus is that you can buy these unmentionables guilt-free because they're made of wood, making them biodegradable. And now that we've seen this buxom and randy-looking model, we're now feeling some kind of gravitational acceleration, and are made out of wood, too. – Charlie White

g=9.8: Sexy Lingerie from Tree Pruning Scraps [treehugger]

Tramp Lamps

Charlie White — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 12:38:10 EDT

Not sure how we ever missed these when they were making such a ruckus two months ago, but now there are quite a few new versions available of the Tramp Lamp, illuminated lingerie that might just cast the perfect glow on your boudoir.

The lamp's maker, Kelly Butler, takes "vintage lingerie" and firms it up with some kind of goo which requires lots of hand-rubbing. That makes the fabric very stiff, and is hardened enough to hold up to the hot light within. Don't insert more than a 25-watt bulb in there, though, or ~~she~~ the lamp will get way too steamy, and could even ~~light my~~ catch on fire. Cost of entry is $145. – Charlie White

Product Page [Tramp Lamps, via ShinyShiny]

Jockey Cures "Plumber's Ass" With Tech

Charlie White — Mon, 15 May 2006 14:17:35 EDT

Looks like Jockey has solved the problem of "plumber's ass" with men's underwear called 3D Innovations, spandex briefs made in two halves and cut on the bias. According to a company spokeswoman:

"The builder's bum, an unsightly glimpse of a behind that no one ever needs see, is officially going to be a thing of the past."

After scanning 6000 male bodies, Jockey has figured out how to create a certain "stay put" shape that will eliminate this scourge once and for all. Instead of bringing all this technology to bear, we would suggest perhaps wearing pants that are the proper size. We're hoping the company doesn't decide to "fix" this same occurance in the fairer sex, a rather pleasing phenomenon otherwise known as a "coin slot."

It's goodbye to builder's bum [UTV, via Dvorak Uncensored]