This not be fer the piratically inclin'd such as meself an' me hearties.

Personally, I be preferrin' me computin' be done on more liquor-themed items. Why, jes' t'other night, me server be actin' up so I be smashin' an empty rum bottle o'er th' case. It not be havin' lag issues now. Nothin' be fixin' a troublesome iMac quite like a floggin' an' a night spent lash'd t' th' riggin'.

Fer the record, a floggin' an' a night spent lash'd t' th' riggin' is how I deal wi' most o' me problems. Ladies, this cap'n be available.

But I git lost while waxin' piratical about th' sex lives o' pirates (git yer mind off th' poop deck, lubber!). This ninja "solution", like all things ninja, sounds great but in practice, be a waste of space. If yer computer be actin' up or needin' memory or what have ye, just beat it round the case with a batten or smash it wi' a bottle or stab it wi' yer cutlass (or machete if tha' be yer preference).

This be especially true if ye be havin' an expensive piece o' kit. The more pieces of eight ye be spendin' on yer 'puter, the more damage they be able t' be takin'.

If ye be havin' a Mac Pro an' matchin' 30" Cinema display, I be suggestin' ye be fixin' it wi' powder. A broadside from a cannon be settin' it right.

Enough of me jawin'. Get fixin' yer computer wi' blunt force, mateys. I be wantin' t' hear glass an' plastic fly.

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