Gizmodo: useless

Chompr Hamburger Grasper Ensures You Don't Spill Ketchup on Your Tuxedo

Sean Fallon — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 19:20:00 EST

Designed for high-end restaurants, the "Chompr" hamburger grasping device concept ensures that your delicate hands never actually come in contact with the bun—only elegant walnut and polished aluminum.

Plus, the supports would be spring-loaded to ensure a firm grip on even the thickest of thickburgers. After all, Hardee's is a place to see and be seen. What would your high society friends think if they saw you using a napkin like a commoner or, heaven forbid, noticed a spot of ketchup on your suit? Why, you would be shunned from the subdivision. Shunned I tell you! [Coroflot via Coolbuzz]

Useless Monkey Webcam Smiles and Cheers You On

Erica Ho — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 22:24:37 EST

Behind this monkey's disheveled smile lies a discreet webcam. He clings on to a pencil holder, handy for that USB pencil sharpener you bought during the last Woot-Off, with a special message: "Happy every day."

With a resolution of 800x600 pixels, the webcam will serve your basic Skype needs, even though I'm sure that's not this gadget's most useful trait. I could use a little bit of "Happy every day!" in my life as long as it makes me forget about the other monkey who managed to leave the country with a $1 trillion deficit. Still the monkey-webcam's adorable smile/pencil holder/webcam combination for $25 propels the product into "lets-buy-it-for-kicks" territory, even though you know you really don't need it. [USB Geek via Craziest Gadgets]

Congressman Hates on Comcast for BitTorrent Blockage, Won't Do Anything About It

Matt Buchanan — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:30:47 EDT

At least one Congressman is telling Comcast to take a break from its experiment proving why we need net neutrality—Rep. Rick Boucher (D-Va), a consumer advocate, told CNet's Chris Soghoian that "Comcast has made a major mistake in attempting to hinder peer-to-peer file sharing as an aspect of its network management" as "file sharing is already being used for a wide variety of perfectly lawful and appropriate applications." More point-blankly, he added Comcast "should not engage in a blanket disqualification of any category of lawful applications." But, he's not willing to put his law-writing pen where his mouth is, bucking at the proposition of legislation—instead he's advocating letting the market take care of it. Cause it's already doing so well solving our telco issues. [CNet]

Phone Fingers Protect iPhone From Fingerprints, Have Obvious Sexual Uses

AddyDugdale — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 06:05:34 EDT

We don't know whether these phone fingers are real or not, but until the USB trouser press goes into production, these miniature, teatless, not-for-procreating-unless-you-lost-your-willy-in-a-freak-accident-and-had-a-rodent-penis-transplant condoms are my favorite useless thing evah. What else do you think they should be used for, though?

Faked or not, I love the fact that the iPhone gets nicked at the end. Available in four sizes (that'll be sceptical, disbelieving, gullible and John, then) you can buy a bag of 25 for $9.90. [YouTube and Phonefingers via MacMerc]

Brando's Sex-Themed USB Sets Show a Bit of Pink

AddyDugdale — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 13:15:38 EDT

This is Brando's USB gift set for the ladies. It comes with a mini vacuum cleaner*, a light-up mirror*, a cooling fan (perish the thought that my boss might see me looking a bit sweaty) and a mood light pen holder. Of course, it's in pink. How thoughtful of Brando. There's also a men's version...

You too have a mini vacuum cleaner—how's that for equality?—but instead of the fan and compact mirror, you get a cup warmer (perfect for that steaming mug of coffee your secretary tirelessly brings you each morning), pen holder and an LED light. Each set is $29.95, and it's ~~a f***ing waste of cash that makes me wonder where the human race is going if someone, somewhere is inventing crazy-assed bollocks like this~~ money well spent, IMHO.

*Perfect for bringing out your inner coke monster.

[USB Brando for the Gents and USB Brando for the Laydeez]

Samsung i7 Digital Camera Rotating LCD Still has no Purpose

Travis Hudson — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 15:15:15 EST

We first showed your the Samsung i7 digital camera last week, and I'm not going to lie, I was a bit confused with the rotating LCD. What is the purpose? To better show portrait-style pictures rather than landscape? Nope, not at all. This video has hit the intertubes showing the i7 in action and the entire purpose of the rotating LCD is ... I still don't know. When you flip the LCD 90-degrees it does not change the orientation of the contents on the screen—so you have to physically rotate the camera 90 degrees to view the screen. The video demo's the rotating screen as a PMP, but seriously, Samsung, what is the point? –Travis Hudson

Video: Hands-On with Samsung i7 Digicam with Rotating Display [MobileMag]

Self-Stirring Cup

gizmodo.com — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 17:08:16 EST

Mariah Carey is so lazy she has an assistant to put a straw in her mouth so she can drink during press conferences, so it's a good bet she's probably lazy enough to have her assistant stir her coffee for her. We can't tell you how to make enough money to be able to afford such a lifestyle, but for $22 you can buy this cup that stirs its contents by itself at the press of a button. Quality of life is relative, man. It's all relative.

Whirl Wind Cup [gadget.brando.com.hk, via Uber-Review]