Only a few minutes ago, the entire music industry stood on a stage in a collective display of how rich and out of touch they are. They think you are willing to pay up to double the price of other streaming music services to pay for their streaming music service, because they are crazy.
Remember for a second that Usher is a dad. Bearing that in mind, let's move onto the news that the R&B singer is giving away a new song at the bottom of Honey Nut Cheerios boxes sold exclusively at Walmart. Taylor Swift, you still looking for post-Spotify ideas?
It is July 9, which means we're entering Deep Summer. This is mosquito season. Barbecue season. Our jeans have been jorted and our coffees have ice in them. We should have a definitive Song of Summer by this point. Yet we do not.
One hologram performance is enough for the year, and we're already put that behind us with Tupac's Coachella reincarnation. Now Usher is jumping on the virtual performance bandwagon—he'll be appearing with digital backup dancers in a concert next month in London.
Ok, Usher. Come on dude. You're co-hosting SNL. I know like 3.5 million people follow you on Twitter, but seriously. At least wait until the tapes are done rolling to check your iPhone. Because you're in serious violation of common sense etiquette.
You say remainders, I say reminders. Reminders that online shopping can be fun but also dangerous. Reminders that big-name companies like Polaroid can falter while less big-name companies like jWIN flourish. And a reminder to let goats sing their song.