Upon further inspection, it turned out it was just a box of six chocolates filled with nuts and caramel. When I called Target to check on the status of the chocolates, they informed me that all of their iPod chocolate boxes had sold out! Ohhh, you clever marketing monkeys, you!

Happy Valentine's Day!

[Image via Gabe Evans NYT]

The Perfect Girl app spews out one-liners that some of you may never ever, ever hear from any self-respecting woman ("You are so right") for only $1. Honestly, even as a member of the fairer sex, I thought the app was completely worth the laughs... until I started hearing things I remember uttering in the past. Now can you guess which ones?

I'm the perfect girl.*
I called in sick for you. Have fun at the game!
I love ninjas.
Wear whatever you want.
I'll try anything once.*
Have fun drinking with your friends!*
Here, you can have my food.
You are so right.
Sleep in as late as you want, I'll have breakfast ready.
I cleaned the game room.*
Did you want me to wait outside?
I hooked up the surround sound!*
See you in the morning!*
I bought you a new speed boat.
I bought you some spray paint.
Do you think she's flirting with us?
I really love watching you play video games.
Happy birthday. I got you a monkey!
Just get drunk there, I'll come pick you up.

*If you guessed these, you were correct. See? I really am perfect.

[Perfect Girl]

But it's okay—Gizmodo and Fleshbot are here for you, with a list of sexy gadgets sure to please each and every geek girl (and boy) out there. Cause remember: nothing says, "I love you" quite like a gadget (especially one that gives orgasms).

For the Apple fanatic: Lelo Gigi: True, Lelo's Stockholm headquarters are about 5390 miles from Cupertino, but from the looks of the Gigi, you'd never know it. With its sleek white handle and pretty colored shaft, it could easily pass for Steve Jobs's long lost offspring. It even has a click wheel!

For the phone lover: BodiTalk Escort: The iPhone app store may have cracked down on "adult" apps—but that doesn't mean you can't use your phone to get your rocks off. The BodiTalk Escort kicks into gear whenever a nearby cell phone is in use. Finally, you'll be able to live out those dreams of an iPhone menage a trois.

For the girl with too many cables: Lelo Mia: With all the chargers and cables in our lives, the last thing anyone needs is yet another gift with yet another easily lost power cord—which makes the USB-powered Mia so very, very refreshing. This little lipstick vibe needs nothing more than a computer to get its charge back—and with its discreet appearance, you should have no trouble charging it anywhere you go. (Just, uh, remember to wash it after using it.)

For the couple that geeks together: WeVibe: Valentine's Day isn't just about presents, presents, and more presents—it's about celebrating the deeply felt love that you and your partner share. And what better way to celebrate that love than with a gadget you can use together? The WeVibe is a flexible, C-shaped, silicone vibe that's worn by the lady during the sex, made to add a little extra bump to your bump and grind.

For the boys: Bo and Real Touch (see it in action here>: Sexy gadgets aren't just for girls—after years of giving all the good sex tech to the ladies, companies are finally starting to take notice of the other half of the population. We've got two good picks for boys. First up is thethe Bo, a cock gentleman's ring that—with its sleek silicone body and rechargeable motor—leaves those gummy rings with bullet vibes trailing in the dust. Secondly, there's the Real Touch, a robotic vagina that syncs with your favorite porn clips. It won't actually be on sale until later this month—but this is one IOU you can probably get away with.

For the porn loving lovers: FyreTV: If your idea of a romantic evening is watching other people getting it on, than look no further than FyreTV this Valentine's season. The discreet, Wi-Fi enabled box provides streams porn directly to your bedroom. And since their database of adult entertainment is constantly being updated, its definitely a gift that keeps on giving.

For the girl who has every (sex) gadget: Sasi: A few years ago, it seemed as though vibrator tech had pretty much reached its peak. Sure, you could make the batteries last longer, or switch up the pulse patterns, or find a funny new animal to stick on your toy—but for the most part, vibrator functionality was pretty much set. Vibrators were pieces of plastic that went inside the vagina or on top of the clitoris and vibrated. Maybe they twirled around a little, or had rotating pearls, but that was about the extent of their moving. Until the SaSi. With a revolutionary new method of stimulation, and programmable patterns, it's the best thing to happen to vibrators since, well, the birth of the vibrator.

When money is no object: Lelo Inez: We used to think that JimmyJane's $3250 Little Platinum Eternity was the height of luxury vibes—but that was before Lelo came out with Inez. The latest addition to the Lelo Luxe line, Inez will run you anywhere from $7900 (for stainless steel) to $10,500 (for gold plate). Money may not be able to buy you love—but giving someone a $10.5k vibrator will probably get you pretty far anyway.

Lux Alptraum is the editor of Fleshbot, the web's foremost blog about sex, porn, and the web, and founding editor of Boinkology, a blog about sex and culture. She's spoken to numerous audiences about healthy sexuality, sex culture, and the state of porn today, appearing at NYU, Columbia University, the Museum of Sex, SXSW, and Gelf Magazine's Non-Motivational Speaker Series. Her writing has appeared in Time Out New York, Zink! Magazine, Best Sex Writing 2008, and GOOD Magazine.

$11 at BlueQ[Nerd Approved]

Designed by Kate Street, the watch has no traditional time markers and is only denoted by "Loves Me" every other increment. The stainless steel watch is part of a 100-piece, limited-edition collection. Perfect for Valentine's Day, it runs on a single jewel quartz and has a guarantee for up to 12 months. It's available for £115, or about $145. My best friend is probably hoping he won't have to hear my tormented ramblings about my crush anymore—hey, the crazy has to go somewhere! [Mr. Jones Watches via RedFerret]

Cellphones
• Apple iPhone 3G 8GB Phone (Refurbished) for $149 with 2-year AT&T agreement (normally $200 with 2-year AT&T agreement).
• Apple iPhone 3G 16GB Phone (Refurbished) for $249 with 2-year AT&T agreement (normally $300 with 2-year AT&T agreement).

Navigation
• Garmin GPS 18 Deluxe for $29.99 (normally $70 - valid today only).
• Garmin nuvi 250 3.5" GPS System (Refurbished, Pink) for $89.99 plus free shipping (normally $130).

Portable Devices (Digital Cameras, Audio Players, and Etc.)
• Casio EX-Z85 9MP Digital Camera for $109.99 (normally $150 - valid today only).
• Philips PET708/37 Portable DVD Player with Dual LCD Screens for $79.99 (normally $130 - valid today only).
• Peek Mobile E-mail Device [2-Pack] for $79.99 plus free shipping (normally $160).
• iPod Silver 4G Nano 8GB for $125 (normally $150. Other colors are available).

Snookumsmodo
• Hand-Dipped Strawberries (1/2 Dozen) for $24.99 (normally $37.99).
• Sterling Silver Double Heart Swril Emerald Pendanthah for $49 plus free shipping (normally $155).

Hobomodo
• Desktop3D for $0 (normally $14.95 - valid today only).
• HeartSAFE Aspirin Pill Tote for $0 (valid until 3/31).
• Grand Slam Breakfast at Denny's for $0 (valid only on 2/3. Must stop in between 6 am and 2 pm).

Roses are red
Violets are blue
The Rose USB Drive stores gigabytes of data
(OK, just two). - Mark Wilson

[USBGeek via 7Gadgets]

This MSI Wind features a red/pink-backed screen with a ridiculously festive heart on the back. It's the perfect way of saying either, "I love you" or "I think you generally leave your holiday decorations up for too long, but I accept that."

Love isn't free, though. In fact, love's paint job and detailing costs about $80 over the identical, base U100 Wind ($430). [MSI]

All you need to do is breathe into the device and the analysis will return as one of five outcomes: Kiss me, Possible, Maybe, Risky, and Never. Fortunately, my girlfriend doesn't mind beer on the breath—so I am always good to go. Available for $30. [Urban Outfitters via GeekSugar]

Boobies Mouse Pad
What you tell her: It's for you baby, to protect your wrists because of all that computer work you do.

Why it's for you: I love seeing you fondle another woman's boobs, even if it's a fake, rubberized woman.

The iPhone
What you tell her: I've seen you eyeing this phone for a while, and now you can finally use it! Just think, you don't have to carry around an iPod and your phone all the time! And we can text message each other so much!

Why it's for you: Give it a month for the newness to wear off and swap out her iPhone with some cheap phone. She won't care.

Why it's really for me: Because you can buy my iPhone book as well.

An electronic nail dryer
What you tell her: You always keep saying how your nails are awful, right? This will help you save money by not having to go out to have your nails done!

Why it's for you: It helps keep her occupied for an hour so you can finally get some gaming done.

The Evian Water Bra
What you tell her: You have to stay hydrated, right? Just drink directly from the bra. Plus, the water inside can help cool your breasts, which—as Travis Hudson of Gizmodo says—prevents "sweaty breastitis."

Why it's for you: Nobody likes a case of sweaty breastitis, except maybe Travis.

Electric Ice Cream MakerWhat you tell her: You love ice cream, I love ice cream, who doesn't like ice cream?

Why it's for you: I plan on impregnating you one day, better keep your body osteoporosis-free.

Why it's actually really for her after all: Impregnation is never a man's idea!

An Xbox 360
What you tell her: Because the...uhhh...ummm...uhhh...the HD DVD...errmm...DVD...ahhh...wireless controllers are neater...mmmm...I love you?

Why it's for you: This should be obvious.

A giant HDTV
What you tell her: You've always wanted a giant HDTV!

Why it's for you: She's never wanted a giant HDTV.

The FyreTV, a streaming on-demand porn for the living room boxWhat you tell her: Come on! When haven't you wanted to watch porn in the living room?!

Why it's for you: When haven't you wanted to watch porn in the living room?

A Nintendo Wii Fit Preorder
What you tell her: It's for you to exercise! Stay healthy so we can grow old together!

Why it's for you: You're fat.

Got enough tips? Now get shopping! [Cupid outfit courtesy Buy Costumes]

Just think, if every woman ditched her normal incandescent pasties just one day a year, we'd save enough power to abandon solar, wind an hydroelectric power sources altogether. Am I right? [instructables via boingboing]

We wanted to provide you with an update on your order status. Due to some issues in our fulfillment center there remains a chance we will miss getting your Zune to you by February 14th. We are working hard to get your order to you as quickly as possible and we currently plan to ship your Zune within the next 3-4 days. Once your order is in transit, we will send you a shipping confirmation with a link for tracking.

Our goal is to provide a smooth customer experience for ordering, customization, and delivery. We sincerely apologize for not meeting that goal in this specific case. We will be refunding the entire amount of your order, which you should be able to see on your credit/debit card within 7-10 days. We hope you love your Zune and that you will accept our sincere apology.

If you have additional questions, please call 1.877.GET.ZUNE. For fastest service, press 5 then press 1 and have your order information ready.

The Zune Originals Team

Whether it's some sort of glowing undergarment or just a good old fashioned "I put no thought into your personality or the nature of our relationship" red/pink Nano, the word of the day is "restraint." Gizmodo's unsolicited advice: go classic on Valentine's Day. And no, you don't actually need to put thought into it, just a bit of money and an equal amount of taste.

And as with any holiday gift, avoid the words "fiber optic" like the plague.

Coming with a pink "Cross Your Heart" Reader skin and a coupon for 14 Harlequin Special Releases...let's just say that we'd never date anyone who accepted this gift in earnest. For those interested in what a real lady (my wife) thinks about the Sony Reader, hit up her impressions here. For the record, she's still reading with it nonstop.