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posts about #waltersobchak more → Kosher Machine Only Serves 24/6 Because It's Shomer Shabbos
Ultra-Orthodox J-Phone Doesn't Roll On Shabbos
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Kosher Machine Only Serves 24/6 Because It's Shomer Shabbos |
Ultra-Orthodox J-Phone Doesn't Roll On Shabbos |
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12/19/08
People can be complete idiots sometimes....
12/19/08
12/19/08
12/19/08
I just tried some Morningstar Farms faux bacon. How close is that to the real thing? Because, heated cardboard. Either I'm not doing it right, or Morningstar Farms is perpetuating a fraud of mammoth proportions on the naive and ignorant.
Is there any faux bacon that will finally let me understand what people mean when they say "mmmm, bacon," with that faraway look in their eyes? Or am I doomed to eating only chopped liver forever?
12/19/08
12/19/08
Until then, I'm gonna look for some more rugs to pee on
12/19/08
12/19/08
12/18/08
I had to take a picture of this mechanical monstrosity for a multitude of reasons.
This vendible machine is 24/6. In theory, the machine cannot work on the Sabbath. It is in a movie theatre. If you are Shomer Shabbos, you are not at the movies.
Moreover, if you are Shomer Shabbos, you cannot complete things - like sales. Purchasing thing on Shabbos is off-limits. Which means if you care enough for your vending machine knish to be kosher, you're not buying movie tickets and you're not buying things from vending machines.
The machine does not have to be Shomer Shabbos. I have gone to the E-Walk (pronounced like the teddy bear abomination from Return of the Jedi) dozens of times. It is fair to assume that none of the staff observes the Sabbath on a Saturday.
The idea of a Shomer Shabbos vending machine is absurd. Finally, the iPhone's camera is surprisingly good. That is what I used to take the picture. "Quantum of Solace" not so good.
12/18/08
12/19/08
12/19/08
Laggy UI, 3G that is not infrequently slower than EDGE, inability to sync with my job's Exchange server, crashy applications - those irk me.
The camera - surprisingly good.
12/22/08
Not necessarily. The owner of the machine in all likelihood is an observant Jew. Sure, the Shomer Shabbos Jews won't ever go to the movies and buy any food from the machine, but there are plenty of Jews who would be going to the movies anyway (and may want to try some Kosher nosh). If the machine accommodated these individuals, essentially the machine is contributing to "sins" of the not-so-observant Jews in the vicinity. And yes, most observant Jews are of the opinion that anyone not as "religious" is sinning on Shabbos.
It's better in their opinion to not serve ANYONE during the 25 hour period of Shabbos than to serve Jews inadvertently. You don't want to ever benefit off the sins of a brother.
12/18/08
Does the machine dispense Babka?????
(Disemvoweling worthy comment edited here)
I loves me some bacon. I am one naughty Jew. But hey, I'm not 100% Jewish so I guess it comes from the Catholic part.
Ok. So ya. I had a Bat Mitzvah, but it was a Star Trek:TNG themed Bat Miztvah!
And oh. I've always had such a spectacular Birthmas Tree. Ya know, cause I'm born on Christmas. And I have so many of those ST:TNG and SW Hallmark ornaments.
Oh and Ponies, or OMG (whatevaa), all you addictive insanity makes so much more sense knowing that you to are Jewish. Ever been to Sammy's Roumanian on the lower east side? Kettle One served in a block of ice? Check. schmaltz on the table? Check. The best chopped chicken liver in the world? Check.
Now I'm so hungry!
12/18/08
12/18/08
12/18/08
12/18/08
"but it was a Star Trek:TNG themed Bat Miztvah!"
Ah, but did you get a Bat'leth...?
12/18/08
12/18/08
The Hannukah Bush is decked. The menorah will be lit (one for the passers-by on the street, the other in the entry room). There are latkes and lox and sour cream for eating. For drinking, a recipe of my own making - the Bacon Mary. Did I mention that it's kosher?
Kaiser and SteveDave will be there, as will Girlie (the greatest shikse ever).
So if you can make it to NYC this weekend, Casa di Ponies is open to you.
12/19/08
12/19/08
...and while her computer is into s & m, I feel like both religions do it equally well, though role-play and costumes in catholocism are hotter imo...nuns are just sexy.
Hey Lindsay, is your mom catholic or jewish, and did you go to catholic or hebrew school?
Also, do you prefer to wear plaid skirts or a headscarf? just wondering ;)
12/19/08
damn ponies, shoot me a private msg with more info if you feel so inclined
12/19/08
12/19/08
Per Judaism --my mother's mother was Jewish but her father was Catholic, also Italian (her first and middle name is Anna Marie). Per Judaism I'm covered on my father's side, mostly Austrian.
Didn't go to Hebrew or Catholic School, memorized my Haftorah.
As for Babka, who doesn't like Babka? you don't have to have to be Polish, thats for sure!
12/19/08
Details to come later. I will see if I can scan my album...
12/18/08
12/18/08
12/18/08
12/18/08
No "work". No writing, no driving, no using electricity (complicated, I know, since your stove has the Shabbat setting. But it's more about turning on and/or off the flow of sweet, sweet power.)
12/18/08
12/19/08
12/19/08
12/19/08
12/18/08
12/19/08
If you just leave your oven on (or activate the Sabbath Mode the day before), then putting cold food in it to warm up on the Sabbath isn't considered work, being that it would be the equivalent of putting food on a fire that had been lit since the previous day...
But I'm really just a silly goy whose only going on the various explanations I have received over the years.
The funniest bit of "Sabbath-Tech" I heard about was apparently in Israel some of the hotels will put the elevators into a floor-by-floor mode on the Sabbath, meaning that the elevator will briefly stop on every floor bottom to top (then express back to the bottom) so an observant Jew could board the elevator in the lobby then just wait for the elevator to arrive on their floor without having to press any buttons to call the elevator to the lobby or indicate which floor they were going to. That seems to be kind of bending the rules from the other explanations I have heard, but hey, it came from a reliable source, and I'm no expert...
12/19/08
12/19/08
Damn, if only I had checked that, I wouldn't have to re-write my entire doctoral dissertation on Jewish elevator technology; I would have thought that one of my reviewers would have caught that...
12/18/08
12/18/08
12/19/08
12/19/08
And furthermore calling something Kosher is not taken lightly, it's not like calling something "Low-Fat" or "Low Sodium", if the company is calling it Kosher you can bet you Lox that it actually is.
12/19/08
Actually getting a Kosher *certification* is another matter entirely. The Chaf K (that's the backward C with a K inside it on the top right of the machine, for those who don't know) is considered an extremely reliable certification, so I don't think anyone needs to worry about these machines.
12/19/08
Of course my ham&cheese from the kosher deli isn't Kosher...
12/18/08
12/18/08
12/18/08
12/18/08
Buying a knish involves, in essence, completing an electrical circuit which is a no-no. Also, you can't be buying movie tickets and seeing movies on the Sabbath.
If anything, the vending machine proves why cell-phones need good cameras. If I'm out and about and I see something absurd, I take a picture of it. This is an iPhone picture (as was the eeePC with the Apple sticker). The iPhone takes great photos.
12/18/08
12/18/08
12/19/08
you said it man