The closest thing to porn you're likely to see in the App Store, Swimsuit Illustrated's Swimsuit App, tops the sales list, followed by the medical marijuana location app "Cannabis" and finally "Mixologist," an app directory of recipes for mixed drinks. What does this prove? Will social conservatives start decrying iPhone users as degenerate drug addict alcoholic pornographers? [FolioMag]

Gizmodo '79 is a week-long celebration of gadgets and geekdom 30 years ago, as the analog age gave way to the digital, and most of our favorite toys were just being born.

The Canna Chopper boasts odor and video sensors to find pot fields from the air, and on its first trip it rounded up seven outlaw farmers and several kilos of product, so looks like it's reasonably effective. Effective at being no fun. [Dutch Daily News via DVICE]

So what makes the Volcano so great that people spend close to $700 on one? Well, first of all, it looks pretty awesome. If you didn't know what it was, you'd think it was some sort of German-designed kitchen equipment, which isn't too far off.

Each Volcano is built by hand by a small German company using top-notch parts. It's got a classic design to it that will make you want to leave it out rather than hide it in a desk drawer. But that's not why you buy it. You buy it because it gets you high really well.

You simply pack some vaporizables into the heating chamber and pop that into your Volcano, which has a handy digital readout to let you decide exactly how hot you want it running (it still stays cool to the touch on the exterior). You then attach a vapor balloon to the top of the heating chamber. Over the course of about 30 seconds, it fills up with vapor (not smoke, mind you). You then snap on a mouthpiece and pass the balloon around. It all sounds more complicated than it is.

So why is that so great? Well, it's all about the vapor. The Volcano heats your vaporizables up, but not hot enough for combustion. That means all the nasty tar and toxins in your herbs don't get released, just the active ingredients and flavors you're looking for. What results is a healthier and cleaner-feeling experience. It also gets you high as shit.

So is it worth the cash? Well, not really. But if you're a serious smoker and you have cash to burn, you will almost definitely absolutely love this thing and want to use it every day, not just because of the great experience but because of how good it looks. But if spending $700 on something to smoke with seems like a ludicrous and insane thing to do on your budget, it most definitely is. But hey, not everyone can afford a Porsche, either.

[Digital Volcano Vaporizer]

Doesn't look like there's any water in the pipe, and there's no way it's still functional, but any and all McGuyvering of marginally illegal substances must be championed. So, um, champion! [Thanks, Brian!]

In high school, I made a pipe out of a TI-83 Plus calculator. the calculator still works, even now, as well as the pipe. Even though the tube is made of duct tape, it works fine. I cut into the bowl itself so it can be flat and still allow airflow, and put another piece of metal under it so the tape will not heat up. The stem can be separated and placed into the calculator to be more hidden. Inside the calculator, there are also compartments for matches, toothpicks (pokers), and screens. There is also enough room on the inside for a small bag of whatever is going to be smoked. It has been named the TI-420 Tokeulator.

Holy shit. The bar has been raised.

[Thanks, Dave!]

Created just last night, the Zapper bong is designed to be used handle-up, with the barrel in your mouth. This raises things to the next level by creating a truly ridiculous image when you're using it.

I swear, if some company decided to start producing these video game controller pipes, they'd fly off the shelves at college town headshops. It's only a matter of time.

Thanks, Bryan!

As you can see by the below photos, this is a serious piece of custom-made weed smoking equipment. Sure, it won't play Fallout 3, but it'll make playing Fallout 3 on a functioning Xbox a lot more fun.

Now if someone wants to make a grinder or a stash box out of a controller to match this thing, you'd have the most epic and nerdy smoking setup ever. I love it. Anyone else have homemade gaming-related paraphernalia? Send it to me! I love this shit. Thanks, Chris!

UPDATE: The AP is now reporting that unemployed cat bong guy "says he put cat in bong 3 times." [SF Gate]

Sadly, that's just what one Acea Schomaker of Omaha, Nebraska did. Cops responding to a domestic disturbance call found the 20-year-old asshole smoking weed out of a duct-taped plastic box with a garden hose running into it and the cat stuffed inside.

The cat was fine, luckily, if dazed. "She was on the front seat of the cop car, wrapped in a blanket, and never moved all the way to the humane society," said one of the cops. It presumably ate a shitton of cat food when it got there.

Schomaker was fined $400 and faces drug and misdemeanor animal cruelty charges, and the cat was removed from his custody. [Huffington Post]

Bret Ravenhill, the Brit who had gotten busted for cannabis possession, was on probation to keep him from going out of his house at night. Unfortunately, the security officer who affixed the tag failed to pull his pant leg up or sock down, not noticing that the leg was made of metal.

Ravenhill claims that he never broke his curfew, but there's no real way for anyone to know that, is there? In any case, score one for amputee potheads, right? [Telegraph]

Thanks, James!

These electronic drug dealers won't be out on the street next to a Pepsi machine, of course. No, they'll be "housed in standalone rooms, abutting two dispensaries and protected by round-the-clock security guards." To use them, you'll need to go with a prescription in hand, get fingerprinted and get a prepaid credit card that's loaded up with your dosage and what strain of weed you want. Yeah, no joke, the pharmacists in LA give you a choice between OG Kush and Granddaddy Purple. In the future, the machines may also be outfitted to sell other popular drugs such as Viagra, Vicodin and Propecia. Combine all four for a really interesting night that'll also slowly grow your hair back!

And here I was thinking New York City was a liberal town. When do we get weed vending machines, Bloomberg? Huh? [Thrillist]

Text Messages Lands Teacher in Hot Water [USA Today]

Polish Pot Plant PC [Tha Boing]