This week: a relationship ruined by text messages. An out of shape gamer looking for an easy way out. A broke-ass gent with an eye on Craigslist. Three sad souls, three desperations—three readers in need.

Nike recently challenged 78 artists to remix and adapt the function of Nike shoes. Nick Marsh, one of the contestants, took a pair of Air Maxes and imported the internals of a Wii Balance Board to turn his shoes into controllers.

The Rowing Machine for Wii is a cheap-looking rowing machine that has a spot for a Wiimote in the handlebars. It should make playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 next to impossible.

The Multi Function Aerobic Step is designed to raise your Balance Board by an extra three, four, or six inches so that you can get more out of your Wii Fit exercise routine. It's simple, but does the trick.

If you partake in Wii fitness regularly, you probably know that there is only one thing keeping you from having a full-fledged, muscle-building, vein-popping work-out experience: limited range of push-up motion. Thankfully, this push-up bar attachment lets you dig deep.

It's been a long road from conceptual render to final product, but the Riiflex Wii weights (for Wii Fit, or any other game) are available now for $30/pair. Me? I'm too lazy to even waggle a stock Wiimote. [Riiflex]

A British doctor was so kind as to write a letter to the New England Journal of Medicine, handily summarizing what is known about Nintendo-related injuries. The gist: Your Wii wants you dead.

Another day, another story about some cheap, plastic Wii motion control accessory finding an application outside of gaming. In this case, it's the balance board, and not only is this device helping stroke victims recover, it's saving them money, too.

A $20 million project funded by Homeland Security is researching ways to detect how suspicious you are by tracking your temperature, breathing, and eye movements. And get this: they've modified a Wii Balance board to check for nervous fidgeting/weight-shifting.

Brian will be one happy boy come October 4. That's when the Wii Fit Plus (announced at E3) will be arriving. Good news: looks like it'll be only $20 if you don't need a Balance Board.