The Wolverine Electronic Battle Claw, $20, does get a few things right. As said above, the "blades" are retractable. And slashing produces a surely craptastic series of sound effects necessary in any child's toy.

But not only are the plastic claws dull as can be—they're topped with a childproof bulbous surface, ruining any delusions of superhero identity while dually preventing the claw from ever picking your nose...though probably making the toy a bit more pleasant for "my first rectal examination." Seriously though, Hasbro might as well have stabbed my childhood, painted the claws fluorescent orange, and called it a day. [Amazon via Shiny Shiny]

With this gauntlet strapped to your arm there is no question you are the man in charge!

That's right, suckers. $40 on my Visa says that I rule this place now. And by this place, I mean the world. [BudK via bbGadgets]