But before we jump into the marketing spiel, the phone: Despite chunky-looking contours, the Jalou is surprisingly compact, at about 2.7 inches long, closed. Specs are healthy for a flip-phone, with 3G, a 3.2-megapixel camera, video recording, Bluetooth 2.0, A-GPS, a monochrome external display, MicroSD expansion and a full Google mobile software suite, including a YouTube app. Feature phones tend to blur together on the technology front, so styling and form factor are bigger factors than RAM or processor speed—on this front, the Jalou is bold, but possibly divisive. I like it, at least.

Now can we talk about the pitch? Because it's pretty great.

Sony Ericsson apparently did mounds of research into "art, architecture and furniture trends" while "delving deep into the couture and fashion world," just to make sure that the Jalou FELT THE PULSE—all this according to a designer named Charles. So what did ole' Chuck discover? Lots of things! Like, women hate being fat! And they love mirrors, and makeup! And pseudoscience!

The two inch screen's clever design means that at the touch of a button the screen becomes a mirror, offering a discreet way to make sure you look as good as your mobile phone. It is also the first Sony Ericsson to feature Walk Mate step counter, to help you stay in shape wherever you go. It also has an exclusive fashion interface which automatically updates with zodiac signs and special events throughout the year.

Where's recipe book, because women love to cook, amirite fellas? At any rate, the Jalou, which, being a machine, doesn't actually harbor specific views about gender politics, is coming sometime in Q4, price TBD. [Sony Ericsson]

This DIY project involves sacrificing a musical toy and fitting its buttons within several layers of fabric and foam within a bra. (From our limited experience, the more layers of foam, the more striking the instruments become.) A battery around the bra's back clasp powers the speaker in the front.

Then, by poking at various spots on your partner's boobs, you can make beautiful music together. And don't let her complain about the noise. You're an artist. [Instructables via Slashgear]

This MSI Wind features a red/pink-backed screen with a ridiculously festive heart on the back. It's the perfect way of saying either, "I love you" or "I think you generally leave your holiday decorations up for too long, but I accept that."

Love isn't free, though. In fact, love's paint job and detailing costs about $80 over the identical, base U100 Wind ($430). [MSI]

Now my question is: Is it really this way? Because one of the most delightful, smartest, and sexiest woman I've ever met was drunk after three hours in a bar drinking beer with orange slices in it, while that night I was drunk with cocktails and my drinks matched my shoes. And I pee sitting down. At least at home, because it's more comfy, but that's another story.

Women. Men. TS/TVs. Speak. [Thanks Oscar]

Update: It gets better.

Unsurprisingly, exercise is what made people the most unhappy from either gender. Men also were made more happy by "being intimate with another person" than women, while women were more likely to find happiness in pets. And everyone likes relaxing. What an illuminating survey!

In other news, black guys drive like this, while white guys drive like this. [Reuters]

That's Dominika Cibulkova, Caroline Wozniacki and Agnes Szavay, in case you're interested.

London, UK – 24th of September, 2008 – Convenient, good looking and distinctive, the Bluetooth ™ MBW-200 range of Bluetooth™ watches is an expansion of the highly successful Bluetooth ™ MBW-150 range. With three different sophisticated designs to match your personality, be the first among your friends to control your phone with your watch.

Missed an important call or SMS because you couldn’t hear or find your phone at the bottom of your handbag? With the MBW-200 this is now a thing of the past. Using innovative Bluetooth™ technology, the watch displays the caller ID and vibrates as your phone is ringing or when you receive an SMS. Reject or mute the call with a button on the watch or use the Bluetooth™ headset or mobile phone to answer the call and start chatting.

“The MBW-200 series is the next step in the development of Bluetooth™ wireless technology.” said Karmen Mandic, Product Business Manager, at Sony Ericsson. “Now women can buy a Bluetooth™ watch that gives them both wireless functionality and an opportunity to express their personal taste. We’re all looking for products that make our lives more convenient. With a glance at your watch you can see who is calling, what the time is and with a push of a button you can change your music or use it as a music remote control when your phone is on the other side of the room– all in one stylish device.”

Designed in partnership with watch industry leader Fossil and the Bluetooth™ knowhow of Sony Ericsson, the MBW-200 series comes in three distinct designs; Sparkling Allure, Contemporary Elegance and Evening Classic. The Bluetooth™ Watch Collection features scratch resistant mineral crystal glass with an anti-glare coating for optimum readability and glow. The discreet, yet stylish and clear monochrome OLED display is invisible when not in use and clearly visible on a bright day so that you can see who is calling or which track is playing with ease.

Can’t decide which stylish Bluetooth™ Watch is for you? Sony Ericsson has teamed up with three leading female tennis players to show how each MBW-200 watch has a distinct personality to match anyone’s personal style and fashion tastes.

The Sparkling Allure Edition, as modelled by 19-year-old Slovakian Dominika Cibulkova, is glamorous, yet strong and sporty – created for the ultimate young and funky fashionista. With its on trend white leather strap and display with crystal décor stones, this stylish number is perfect for making a fashion statement while being practical and convenient.

The Contemporary Elegance Edition, as modelled by 18-year-old Danish ‘Princess of Tennis’ Caroline Wozniacki, is perfect for the young professional who wants to stay focussed on the job at the same time as staying connected. Enjoy the benefits of the stainless steel watch with its efficient call handling and make a dazzling impression wherever you are.

The Evening Classic Edition, adorning 19-year-old Hungarian superstar Agnes Szavay, has a classic yet casual profile. The stylish leather strap and discreet black face can be worn in any environment, whether at home, in the office or on a weekend away. For those who are always on the move the vibration alert of an SMS, or out of phone range, means that never again will you miss an important message.

Bluetooth™ Watch MBW-200 collection features:
Bringing together contemporary design and cutting edge Bluetooth™ technology

* Reject or mute call through the watch
* Vibrates on new SMS/MMS - and an out of range warning – when 10 m away from your phone
* Discreet yet clear caller ID - OLED display
* Play, pause, stop or skip a track on your phone’s music player
* Quartz movements for exact time keeping – both digital and analogue
* Auto pairing™ - easier to connect the watch to your phone
* Water resistant up to 3 ATM
* Allergy safe stainless steel
* Mineral crystal scratch resistant face with antiglare coating

The MBW-200 range is available in selected markets in Q4.

Sony Ericsson will also expand the MBW-150 range with yet another design. The MBW-150 Classic is a sporty edition with a brown leather strap and white face that will be available early next year in selected markets.

The Sony Ericsson MBW-200 at a glance

MBW-200
Time indicator

* Analogue
* Digital from mobile phone

Discreet call handling

* Caller ID in display
* Reject/mute call through watch
* Change volume

Music player control

* Play, pause, stop, next track skip
* Change volume

SMS/MMS message alert

* Vibrates on new SMS/MMS

Out of range warning
Vibration alert at 10m from phone

Standby time

* Battery indicator
* Bluetooth functionality for up to 7 days
* Analogue time keeping for up to 7 days

Specifications
In-Box:

* Bluetooth™ Watch
* Charging clip
* Standard charger CST-60
* User guide
* Exclusive box

3 different variants
Evening Classic

* Black dial with crystal décor
* Black detail on crown
* Black leather bracelet
* Stainless steel clasp
* Stainless steel case
* 60g weight

Contemporary Elegance

* Display with crystal décor stone
* Red minute hand
* Pattern detail on dial
* Brushed stainless steel bracelet
* Double security clasp with stainless steel folding blade
* Stainless steel case
* 60g weight

Sparkling Allure

* Rose gold rim with crystal décor stones
* Rose gold hands with white fill
* Mother of pearl look ‘carbon fiber’ texture display
* White crocodile leather bracelet
* Chrome finish polish on case
* Rose gold clasp
* Weight 60g

Size: 37.3 x 39.6 x 14 mm
Availability and versions
Available in selected markets from early Q4 2008.

Having trouble scoring a date? Do the villagers keep knocking on your door with lit torches and pitchforks in hand? Not to worry, there are plenty of gadgets out there that can help get you cleaned up, toned up and *ahem* beefed up for the ladies. But remember, it's not just about looks or how successful you are—women will see right past that to your inner beauty—your sparkling personality. Hahaha! Seriously though...these 10 gadgets can work wonders.

Grooming:

Mangroomer: Alright guys, let's start with the basics. You are never going to find a woman that finds it erotic to run her hands through your back hair. None of this "take me as I am" bs...shave it off with a Mangroomer electric shaver. You are making everyone sick there, Chewbacca. [Amazon via Link]

Goatee Saver: Moving around to the front, we have a contraption designed to keep your goatee neat and clean for the ladies. Just bite down on the clip inside to hold it in place and adjust the frame to the desired width using the gears. Don't expect miracles, though. Not everyone can work a goatee as well as Mark Wilson and I. [GoateeSaver via Link]

Just Kitting Kit: Traveling downtown we have a grooming kit specially designed to not only manage your excessive pubic hair growth, but turn it into a work of art. Each kit comes with a set of stencils that allow you to shape your pubes into patterns like a heart and a star. Unfortunately, there are no balloons, moons, rainbows, horseshoes, hats or pots of gold. [Makeup]

Sunshower Deluxe: If I have to tell you that taking a shower once in awhile is essential for attracting the ladies, there may not be any hope for you. Nonetheless, I will forge ahead with Sentavi's Sunshower Deluxe. It not only gets you clean, it also leaves you with a golden brown tan. [Sentavi via Link]

Exercise:

Treadmill Desk: You're fat—there is no getting around it. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and exercise. Fortunately a number of options exist that are aimed squarely at nerds. This treadmill desk with its five-display setup definitely falls into that category. [Link]

Springflex UB: The treadmill handled your cardio routine, now the Springflex will handle your strength training. As you can see, you never have to leave your precious computer when you do a workout. All you have to do is clamp the Springflex arms to your desk and get crackin' on those puny biceps. [Skymall]

Garmin Forerunner 405: If you can't afford a personal trainer, the Garmin Forerunner 405 may be the next best thing. Users can record data regarding speed, distance, heart rate and location (using built-in GPS) as well as info about courses, goals and specific workouts. It even wirelessly syncs to your computer when you enter the room. [Link]

Abdominal Etching: All the exercise and dieting in the world may not get you that six-pack that you have always wanted. That's where medical science comes to the rescue. In addition to standard liposuction, abdominal etching involves sculpting grooves in the fat layers to emphasize muscle. [Link]

Deception:

Wonderjock: If basic grooming, exercise and plastic surgery are not enough, you could go the extra mile and try to throw women off. For example: the Wonderjock is quite literally a Wonderbra for men. It separates and lifts, pushing your manhood forward—which gives the appearance of enhanced size. Rumor has it that Ewan McGregor bought a ton of them. [Aussiebum]

Ugly Bags: Okay guys, it's the end of the line. If all else fails just put on an ugly bag, turn down the lights and find a woman with poor eyesight. [MyStore]

Make sure to hit the comments for all of the inevitable Konami code jokes. [Complex via Kotaku]

It works as a digital picture frame and supports MPEG video, MP3 audio and SD/xD/MS/MMC cards for much cheaper storage. We're holding out for the guy's version, when we can learn how to clean gutters, take out the trash and scratch our balls. Coming soon, spec sheet and press release after the jump. [miBook]

Portable Take anywhere! Battery & AC capable
LCD Size 7" (16:9)
LCD Type New advanced TFT
LCD Backlight New LED! (same as on new high-end laptops, for amazing brightness & color accuracy) (not CCFL)
Graphic Interface Highly advanced - including hot spots, pop-up menus & file preview shots for fun, easy, graphic navigation
Player Controls Tactical switches
Remote Control Yes
Battery Yes, Lithium

Additional Features
Shows Photos All formats (jpeg, etc.)
Photo Zoom 5 zoom levels
Photo Thumbnails Yes
Photo Rotation Yes
Photo Aspect Ratio 16:9 & 4:3 modes
Image Controls Brightness, contrast, color
Shows Videos All formats (MPEG-I, MPEG-II, MPEG-IV, etc.)
Plays Music All formats (mp3, etc.)
Slideshow + Music Simple click links desired music & photo files
Calendar & Clock Yes, incl photo display & alarm
Speakers Two
Headset Jack Yes
Computer Compact PC & Mac; usb 2.0 cable included
Card Readers SD/MS/MMC/XD (96% of mkt)
Built-In Storage No, add 128MB +$150
Warranty 1 year
Phone Support Toll-free & U.S.-based

miBook, the First Multimedia Book, Launches

Portable multimedia book initially targets cookbooks and other "how-to" titles with help from Food Network, HGTV, the DIY Network and ParentsTV

CLEVELAND, OH –- miBook, the first multimedia book, has begun shipping to retailers. miBook brings genres like cookbooks, parenting primers, and travel guides to life with video clips, images and sound, changing the way people cook, fix things up around the home, travel, parent and more.

Using miBook's slim 7" portable player, home cooks who have long struggled to translate recipes into meals can now follow step-by-step video clips showing exactly how a dish should look at every turn. Similarly, travelers long stuck with only a sentence or two to go on when choosing a restaurant can take a video tour and judge the ambience and signature dishes for themselves.
miBook titles, which come on memory cards that slide into the player, are produced in conjunction with television networks including Food Network, HGTV, the DIY Network, and Parents.tv. Initial titles, now numbering 25 but soon to top 100, cover cooking everything from quick and easy meals to party appetizers, home decorating and gardening, home projects and repairs, pregnancy, parenting, and travel to popular destinations. Individual titles have a suggested retail price of $19. 99.

Unlike electronic books that focus on text alone, miBook stands out in that it combines text with video and sound, fusing the strengths of books and TV. Why read it, when you can also see it? Like books, miBook titles are organized into distinct parts that users can access whenever they want and at their own pace, and like TV, they come alive with video clips, images and sound. Highly interactive, miBook stops automatically after each step, allowing users to easily follow the recipe or activity at their own pace. miBook’s charm is in its ability to bring subjects to life in new ways and make everyday activities easier. For example, in addition to letting home cooks see a dish at each step, miBook helps plan menus by instantly sorting recipes based on main ingredient, available time, cooking method, and nutritional concerns.

The miBook player, packaged with one or more titles, starts at a suggested retail price of $129.99. miBook is available at retailers including Bed Bath & Beyond, Bon-Ton, Borders, Circuit City, HSN, Linens ‘n Things, QVC, and The Source.

miBook Title Topics

Cooking

Not since the Joy of Cooking was published in 1931 has there been a major update to the cookbook – until now. miBook takes the guesswork out of translating a recipe on the page into a feast on the table. Step-by-step, miBook shows home cooks exactly how to cook a recipe, including what the dish should look like at every stage and how to do everything from sauté to flambé. miBook stops automatically after each step to allow the cook to perform the action. When ready, the cook pushes play to move on.

miBook also aids in choosing a recipe, which can be a task in itself. Simply select your desired main ingredient (beef, chicken, fish, pasta, etc.), cooking method (grilling, pan-frying, broiling, etc.), and the amount of time you have, and miBook automatically serves up the recipes that match your criteria.

miBook cooking titles include: Quick & Easy Meals, Irresistible Desserts, Healthy Cooking, Pastas Pizzas & Salads, Amazing Party Food: Appetizers & Desserts, and Healthy Cooking for Kids. Each title features 150 recipes, including ones featured on popular Food Network shows such as 30 Minute Meals with Rachael Ray, Quick Fix Meals with Robin Miller, Cooking Class with Wolfgang Puck, Ace of Cakes, Food 911, and Food Nation with Bobby Flay.

Home and Garden

Whether trying to fix a leaky faucet, redecorate a room, plant a tree, or build a deck, it helps to see exactly how it’s done. miBook goes step-by-step with up-close video clips to ensure that home projects get done correctly the first time.

Decorating and gardening titles guide users through both design and execution. The Home Decorating title, for example, helps decorators choose from suggested room styles, color palettes, furniture layouts, wall treatments, and more. Then it helps users complete the makeover with step-by-step guides on stenciling, wallpapering, staining, and applying faux finishes.

miBook home titles include: Decorating, Gardening, Simple Home Organizing, Home Projects, Home Repairs, and Outdoor living Projects. Project assistance comes from HGTV and the DIY Network, including such shows as Design on a Dime, Mission Organization, First Time Gardener, and Talking Dirty with the Queen of Clean.

Parenting

Next time dad conveniently whines that he doesn’t know how to change a diaper, hand him one of miBook’s parenting titles. You’ll hear no more excuses. With content from Parents.tv, the sister network to Parents magazine, miBook brings every parenting activity vividly to life. See and hear how it’s done, from basic baby care like swaddling to fostering cognitive development. Each month, pregnant moms can see how a baby develops in the womb. Video interviews with OB/GYNs, pediatricians, nutritionists, parents, and kids help to illustrate tasks and development. miBook parenting titles include: Your Pregnancy, Baby’s First Year, Your Toddler, Your Child’s Health (0-12), Potty Training, and Games & Activities for Babies & Toddlers.

Travel

In a travel guide come to life with video clips, images and sound, travelers can explore attractions and museums, tour neighborhoods, and preview restaurants interactively and at their own pace.

miBook has a guide for every type of adventure. City guides include neighborhood walking tours, which show historical footage that bring the past to life. Inside museums, the miBook guides visitors to must-see exhibits, shows interviews with artists, clips of their hometown, and examples of their other works. Attraction guides highlight top rides and events. Highly interactive, miBook stops after each step, letting travelers proceed at their own pace. When it’s time to eat, by simply inputting preferred cuisine, neighborhood, ambience, and price range, the miBook instantly serves up the best choices. Discerning diners can even choose their meal locations before leaving their homes with video tours of each restaurant, including interior and exterior views, signature dishes, and menus – even hearing an interview with the chef.

miBook travel titles include: Boston, Las Vegas, New York, Orlando, San Francisco, Washington D.C., and The National Parks.

miBook can also be used as a digital photo album and frame, allowing users to show their photos individually or as a slideshow. miBook also plays home videos, Internet videos, and MP3s; it can either be wirelessly powered through its changeable lithium battery or with the included AC adaptor. The miBook menus can be conveniently navigated either with controls on the device or via the included wireless remote.

This method seems like it'd work in theory. Being able to withstand a woman staring at you angrily for minutes at a time is a skill you have to work on developing. 96 minutes is a long time, however, and Mark Wilson says he only needs about 4 minutes. [Crunchinatrix]

According to designer Saikat Biswas, the EMOPORT is a "personal emotional vitalizer." A woman personalizes the device by feeding in personal data like age, weight, and menstrual cycle. Then, when she gets on the rag, she whips out the device to "overcome mental stress."

EMOPORT games are free, but would only be found packaged with sanitary napkins and work only right before or during the user's "woman time." But no worries - these games won't just be "pink painted" versions of existing boy games, they'll be extensively market researched content designed to appeal to different age-groups of women.

So exactly why can't we pick up a DS or a PSP, which both have a slew of full-formed women-centric games that can be played anytime of the month? Because if there's anything girls love, it's underpowered, restrictive novelty hardware geared towards needs already taken care of by a unisex consumer product. Oh wait. [Saikat Biswas via Gizmowatch]

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Developed by a team at Canada's Simon Fraser University, the bag, which uses RFID technology, also has LED icons on the side, which illuminate when the bag is missing an object, while a smiley emoticon lights up when you're ready to go. I think they left off the lipstick icon, though. [Ladybag via Talk2MyShirt]

• The Danger Bomb Alarm Clock. This clock is sure to wake you up for the event, because it makes an exploding noise until you figure out how to turn it off. Sure, we could've gone with the Orgasmo, which makes the sound of a female orgasm, but that would probably just put us back in dream land. Besides, the Danger Bomb will serve as a good reminder of your own impending sensory explosion.

Now for the guys, here are some suggestions to get you going:

• A sex doll. For all those do-it-yourselfers (haha! get it?) with time on your hands, build a companion to cuddle with tonight. Make sure to hide it when company is around.

• The Blowjob Machine. If you don't have time to build but still crave the feeling of a robot lover, go with this gadget out of Japan. This thing looks more "vacuum cleaner" than "erotic," so be careful.

• The Rubbot. More mechanical goodness, the Rubbot is the most discreet male sex toy of the bunch. Too bad it's still in beta, because judging by the job it did on that beer bottle you wouldn't have any problem making it to the finish line in time.

• 1-900-Nerd-Girl. So you just can't seem to get *there* without a little dirty talk? How about a little nerdy talk instead? Hearing these ladies talk Star Wars and D&D will have your lightsaber up in no time.

• Condom applicator. If you'll be sharing in the global orgasm with that special someone, you're going to want one of these. Over-population is a major factor in world unrest, so don't make the problem any worse.

Ladies, don't think we forgot about you! We at Giz have heard know that the female orgasm is not a myth, and we couldn't leave you out of the festivites, so for you we present:

• A Vibrator. We have so many to choose from, but we decided to go with Inch Perfect, because it's huge, it precise, and you need to get the job done quickly.

• The Call Me Panties. Stick your cellphone in the Call Me Panties front pocket, put it on vibrate and set your alarm. That way, you'll be on your way to saving the world without leaving your bed.

• Nintendo Wii. How will a Wii help you reach orgasm, you ask? Just ask this woman, she seems to have it down.

And finally, for everyone:

• Open Mouth Ashtray. Phew, after all that hard work, you're probably going to want a cigarette. Nothing says "I just participated in a Global Orgasm" quite like this ashtray.

That should be enough to get you started on your journey to heal the world. With less than 12 hours until the big moment, you better start making plans. I know what I'll be doing at 1:08 AM EST; Hell, I probably would have been doing it anyway. [Global Orgasm, World Clock for 6:08 GMT]

Oh, but the other side has had such technologies for years, you say? Not in purse form, my friends. Not in purse form. The Persuader is a gun-shaped purse that will destroy all arguments against your wife's purchase of more purses. It will be the easiest $289 you've spent on leather...at least since those chaps we're not telling anyone about. [product via boingboing]