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You Know You Want the Safe Sexting iPhone App
With all the sexting craze going on, and teens getting arrested left, right, and center on child pornography charges, I'm surprised the Safe Sexting iPhone application—which allows you to take and easily censor any photos—didn't appear months ago. More »Husband and Wife Update Facebook and Twitter at the Altar
You know it's a brave new world when bride and groom update their Facebook status, and tweet about it. At the freaking altar. As they were being pronounced husband and wife. And with "brave" I really mean "f*cking dumb." More »A Very Personal Message to the Buyer of the iPhone 3GS Supreme
Dear anonymous buyer of the $3,164,000 iPhone 3GS Supreme, the most expensive and tacky cellphone in the world: You are a tasteless assclown. Sincerely, Me. More »Strapya Theatre Presents: Dude Trying to Score with MP3 Card*
*DISCLAIMER: That's Strapya's official promotional YouTube video title. I wanted to tell you all about Strapya's ultra-thin Music Card player, but I'm having an extremely hard time concentrating after watching this spot. Advertising genius or marketing suicide? You decide. More »11/17/09
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From OMG! Ponies!
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11/18/09
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On the Auction Block: 5,000 Leftover Condoms From The Olympics
Hot date this weekend? Impress with your sports memorabilia collection by snatching up these 5,000 condoms leftover from the 2008 Beijing Olympics. With inscriptions like faster, higher, and stronger, they're a bargain at a starting bid of $730. More »Woman To Live Stream Her Child Birth
People have posted videos of deliveries before, but this Lynsee girl has decided on a live video stream when she gives birth to her first child. I'm OK with over-sharing now and then, but this could be too much. More »I Want a Slice of this Amazingly Freaky Dead Tauntaun Wedding Cake
I've seen plenty of nerdy geeky freaky cakes in my life, mostly Star Wars-related: R2-D2, the Death Star, the Millennium Falcon, Darth Vader, and pregnant Darth Vader. This dead tauntaun wedding cake, however, is just sick. And I love it. More »Craigslist Ad By A Horrid Excuse for a Human Being
If you begin anything with "this might seem strange and offensive," then stop. Seriously, just stop. Don't be like this guy who posted on Craigslist searching for a double amputee to be part of his Chewbacca-carrying-C3PO-around Star Wars costume. More »Ten Really Dumb Old Inventions and Their Really Dumb Modern Counterparts
Hookay. So, you think that this M3 sub-machine gun—with a shoot-first-and-ask-later curved barrel—is a really stupid, really dumb invention, right? I don't blame you. But, trust me, you don't know what really stupid, really dumb inventions are. Yet. More »Warning: This Image Will Give You Insomnia for a Month
Holy Batman. This is the scariest piece of pseudo-art ever. Please don't zoom if you want to sleep tonight. Or tomorrow. Or next week. Heck, you will be lucky if you can sleep before Halloween. More »Warning: Ponytail Cap
No no no no no. NO! I'm not looking! I'm not looking! You don't exist! I said I'm noooot looking! NOT. LOOKING. OK, I'm looking. Geezuss H. Christ. [This You Never Knew Existed via Presurfer via Likecool]Moronic Pervert to Officer: "Hypothetically, what would you do if you found child pornography?"
This is Chandler. And he is not only being accused of being a child molester. He is also stupid. More »Penis Chandelier—Yes, Penis. Chandelier
Leave it to our sex expert Debby Herbenick to find artifacts like this giant penis chandelier, apparently made by a Dutch company called Rock and Royal. Their pirate skull and crossbones chandelier is quite good too. More »Convincing Your Girlfriend to Put Out on Film Because of the LHC Doomsday Is a Bad Idea
Today we learn that you can get a frigid girl to not only put out, but to do it on film by playing the Large Hadron Collider card. (Baby! No one will see that video since the world is ending!) More »Bustedhot iPhone Application Makes Me Lose Faith In America
The description says it all: "Weekly 5 mugshots of hot women being arrested. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty." Well, Bustedhot developer, I hereto declare you guilty of first degree stupidity and weirdest fetish. Time for Phil's banhammer. [Krapps]Pole Dancer Doll Doesn't Really Set the Perfect Role Model
It rotates. It has blinking lights, a disco ball, and a pole. And it's probably one of the wrongest toys you can give to any girl. Because, unlike the USB Pole Dancer, this one is actually for kids. [Thanks David]Serial Rapist and Kidnapper Claims to Invent "Sound Control" Gadget
"He did a lot of LSD when he was young." Is that supposed to explain how Philip Garrido invented a gadget to "control sound" with his "mental powers" while impregnating a girl he kidnapped and kept as a sex slave? More »Microsoft Needs To Hire Better, Less Racist Graphic Designers
Holy crap. Is that a MacBook in this Microsoft website photo? Haha...seriously though, that is the least of their problems when it comes to the Polish version. More »Who You Gonna Call? Who?
If Jayzeus appears in your house, you better have a Proton Pack, wand, and trap ready. Or you can invite him for drinks, and He'll multiply your caipirinhas for free, all night long. [The Chive]Webcam Suicide Hoax and Bad Acting Result in Arrest
So this guy turns on a web cam and lays still on his back. Either he's related to your ex-girlfriend or he decided to fake a suicide. No matter, NY authorities didn't care and charged him for aggravated harassment. More »